Possibly the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to anyone, ever... cheer me up with your shame ;)

[SinkGirl]

This happened yesterday and I haven’t told anyone because I am mortified, but it’s getting to the point where it’s slightly amusing so I thought I’d share my shame with you all.

So my son is obsessed with bubbles. And being the obsessive person I am, I started researching how to make the best, giant bubbles. I’ve been using premade solution which is insanely pricey and you get through it quick. So I started researching how to make the best giant bubble mix.

Being a geek I was quite fascinated reading about the science and what works best. Turns out that adding lubricant is one of the best ways to make excellent giant bubble mix.

Not just any old lube, but J-Lube - an American powdered lubricant often used by vets, but which also has a reputation as the best thing for certain niche acts, apparently.

I tracked down a small quantity on eBay and placed an order, ignoring the listing’s title.

Yesterday our health visitor and a paediatric nurse case round to talk about the twins. I was showing them a video on my phone of the boys when this notification popped up.

I know they both saw it but they very politely said nothing. I am wondering which word caught their eye first - gay, anal, fetish or fisting?

I’ve been embarassed many times in my life but this definitely wins. I really wanted to tell “it’s just for bubbles!” But I think that may have made matters worse.

How do I ever face these women again?

Please tell me your shameful stories so I can feel better about mine

I was at a meeting once, and a very senior manager had dialled in. He clearly thought he'd muted thr call and proceeded to have a horrible argument with his wife on his mobile . Loudly. Shouting and swearing. We couldn't get his attention and we couldn't hang up on him as others were on the line. So simply I had to turn thr conf phone volume down so everyone could still hear us. But we couldn't hear him.

I work for a large global corporation and there was directors in thr room. I was thr most junior and I recall everyone staring at me like I should sort it, and me eventually saying " i'"ll just turn the volume then down shall I" wIth a startled rabbit look on my face.

He sent an email apology to everyone after.

I have NC for this as VERY embarrassing and potentially outing if any of my friends are reading on here 😳 (but I can now laugh about it years later 😂😂)

Some years ago, when I was in a new relationship (so we were kind of trying out 'things' in the bedroom department!) I showed my then new BF my Ann Summers 'bullet' (tiny lipstick size vibrator thing). We started fooling around with it and (cutting a long story short 😳) 'lost it' in a place it was NEVER INTENDED ON VISITING!! (My bottom!!)

Again, long (and embarrassing!) story short, after trying, and failing, to remove the still buzzing bullet, we had no choice but to visit A&E at 3am...much to my dying shame!

Much consternation ensued...it wasn't as simple a procedure as it might at first sound...possibility of it moving further 'up' as it was buzzing/vibrating etc. One attempt was going to be given, then surgery 😳😳😳. Fortunately that attempt was successful and Buzz was removed and plonked into one of those metal kidney bowl things...buzzing and clanging away (OH THE SHAME!!!).

"Would you like it back?" Asks Dr McDreamy!!

😳😳😳 I declined.

The thread about Italy has reminded me. It was the first hotel we stayed at on honeymoon. We got in, I emptied out my suitcase on the bed to find something and we went out. Got back a few hours later and they had not only tidied and repacked my suitcase, they had also picked up all the (unopened!) condoms that flew out when I emptied the bag and arranged them artfully on the bed in a flower shape I still cannot work out why on Earth someone would do that, the lady on reception kept grinning at me every time I walked past.

Oh I’m glad I unwittingly bumped this, these are classic

I can’t think of much worse than having to go and have a vibrator reclaimed from my bum, shame. You poor thing.

Oh shame

shameismymiddlename, I'm so sorry that happened to you!! I hope the boyfriend was lovely to you after that!

I had my first bubble experiment and it was bloody awesome. Totally worth the shame 😂

Got some massive tubes, unfortunately it’s quite windy, and it’s very hard to take photos when your hands are full with a giant bubble wand. I had to get loads going and put the wand down first so only caught a few smaller ones. Some of the really big ones got as far as the top of the neighbours roof before popping so it holds together really well.

It’s so much better than the stuff I was buying and a fraction of the price so would definitely recommend. Will try and get DH to take some photos when the weather is a bit more suitable. Still need to experiment with different ratios and bigger loops, but really good for a first try.

Also while reading up I found that glycerine bubble mix is known for turning grass brown, even in small quantities, so avoid that if you can! There are recipes involving guar gum which you can buy on amazon if you’d rather not buy lube!

If anyone wants to join in making giant bubbles feel free to pop along to my other thread :)

Oh, they're beautiful and rainbow-y! I'd love to see how good they are when you've had more practice if they're so good now.

Also, my boss once walked in on me in the loo at work while I was having a shit.

[Overseas work trip] I once met a long-term colleague for the first time as he exited the loos. As I started chattering on about how nice it was to finally meet him and some project we'd worked on I became aware of a pungent smell. But I couldn't simultaneously style it out and maintain the work chat so we both had to just stand there with his gut rot like a miasma over us.

Thanks Gummy - I’m working on making some larger loops so I can make bigger ones!

I love how long they last compared to normal bubbles - I posted a little video so you can see :)
vimeo.com/342491881?ref=em-share

One massive one floated up and popped on my neighbour’s chimney. It’s so much fun!

They move in a very unusual way, I bet my DC would love them. May have to order lube...

They do, they’re very wobbly - whenever we’ve done regular bubbles outside they’d have popped much sooner in this wind but these are much more durable so they wobble about a lot.

If you want to try the recipe is here:
soapbubble.fandom.com/wiki/Recipes_EGoo

You only need a little bit of the J-Lube, I bought 28g on eBay for £5 I think which will make 9 lots of this much concentrate, and each lot makes about 10-15 litres depending how much you dilute it (weirdly the more you dilute it, the thicker the skin bubbles - haven’t quite figured out the science of that yet but multiple sources say the same).

There’s also other recipes on the site that use other things like guar gum but from what I can tell that’s a bit trickier to make. I’ll try it next :)

Had to come back and update for all the non-believers - after some fiddling around with my recipe and trying out some different things, we’ve got seriously giant bubbles now! (Excuse the state of my garden!)

Those are epic bubbles. I'd say they're almost_ worth the shame.

I only dread to think what targeted ads you might be getting now

Well a few weeks ago I went searching for the cheapest place to buy the special ingredient... that led to some interesting sites I can tell you 😂

OMG this is amazingly funny

I can attest that the pros use the vet's lube but it is frequently marketed as fisting aid.
Maybe you should ask your vet surgery to hook you up next time.

Yes, i read vets use it too - there’s a few brands, I’m looking around for the best value :D

I once misheard the optician who said I had astigmatism and needed specs. So when I got back to work they asked how my appointment went and I told them all I had stigmata!

Still cringe

I also tore my trousers mid interview and had to waddle out showing my bright coral knickers to the panel. Unsurprisingly didn't get the job!

We had put our office Christmas tree up and I had taken some photos to put on the company sack. An employee and I were looking through the photos to see which was the best and got a bit of a surprise. During the time I had been taking the photos someone had sent a video to a WhatsApp group, it showed a vagina with vampire fangs and it got saved in the middle of the tree photos. It was so unexpected that it took way longer than it should have to scroll past!

I have changed my WhatsApp settings so that photos and videos no longer download automatically.