Possibly the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to anyone, ever... cheer me up with your shame ;)

[SinkGirl]

This happened yesterday and I haven’t told anyone because I am mortified, but it’s getting to the point where it’s slightly amusing so I thought I’d share my shame with you all.

So my son is obsessed with bubbles. And being the obsessive person I am, I started researching how to make the best, giant bubbles. I’ve been using premade solution which is insanely pricey and you get through it quick. So I started researching how to make the best giant bubble mix.

Being a geek I was quite fascinated reading about the science and what works best. Turns out that adding lubricant is one of the best ways to make excellent giant bubble mix.

Not just any old lube, but J-Lube - an American powdered lubricant often used by vets, but which also has a reputation as the best thing for certain niche acts, apparently.

I tracked down a small quantity on eBay and placed an order, ignoring the listing’s title.

Yesterday our health visitor and a paediatric nurse case round to talk about the twins. I was showing them a video on my phone of the boys when this notification popped up.

I know they both saw it but they very politely said nothing. I am wondering which word caught their eye first - gay, anal, fetish or fisting?

I’ve been embarassed many times in my life but this definitely wins. I really wanted to tell “it’s just for bubbles!” But I think that may have made matters worse.

How do I ever face these women again?

Please tell me your shameful stories so I can feel better about mine

Oh OP, that is absolutely amazing

If it makes you feel any better, my embarrassing story... when I was in sixth form I was round at my then-boyfriend's house when we decided to DTD as he said we were home alone. We're both 18 and are obviously used to having to be quiet when hanging out at each others houses, so we're really going for it.

Anyway, about 5 minutes after we've finished, we hear a knock coming from towards then-boyfriend's ceiling - his room has a staircase which leads to a loft conversion, where his 13 year old brother's room is. You guessed it, 13 year old brother was home the whole time and my boyfriend had had no idea. We heard this very sheepish voice pipe up "is it safe to come down now please?" from behind the door.

I've never wished for the sweet relief of death as much as I did in that moment...

‘The world has just fallen out of my arse and there is no toilet brush’ (don’t ask me why we are so open with each other about our toilet habits)

Glad it’s not just DH and I that are so open. “is it safe?” is the standard greeting when one of us leaves the bathroom. That’s love, that is.

Oh my god you poor thing! Are they ever due to come round again?
YEP! 😳 In a month. Hopefully by then I can show the amazing bubble mix and bubble photos to explain it

My favourites post ever!!!!!

My colleague was there at the time and the speaker went to the wrong folder on his USB and up came a whole host of gay porn downloads. They had to literally pretend it never happened, and divert to the right folder. It was not mentioned, but never forgotten

Noooooooooo! Oh god.

Thank you. You are all helping me massively.

Prior to this the most embarrassment I’ve ever had was accidentally emailing the CEO at my old job rather than a male friend of mine, with an email about bongo playing that sounded very euphemistic indeed out of context. I hid from that man for 12 months until he left. I have definitely levelled up now!

Hahahahaha each word is worse than the previous one 

is it safe to come down now please?
😳😳😳 Oh that’s awful!

Thank you everyone. I don’t feel quite so alone. If some of you could come and recount these stories to the nurse and health visitor next time they come, that would be great

Cough mixture works well too. We have expired cough mixture in the kitchen for making bubbles.

I hear Siberia is nice this time of year, though.

Why don’t you have the lube sitting out on a coffee table along with the giant bubble tools... then you can sit them down and say “oh, sorry. Please ignore that! It’s just for making giant bubbles” and then tell them the recipe!

each word is worse than the previous one

It really is. At the time I didn’t take in quite how bad it was (I’d spent half an hour looking for the stuff online so had become desensitised to some of the auction and listing titles - at least I didn’t buy the “anal fisting kit” with a douche and gloves alongside the lube 😳). I just got rid of it as quickly as I could when I realised what it was.

After they left I quickly looked at it and the horror built with every word. I must have read it to myself ten times just taking in what had happened.

Why couldn’t it have been the other notifications for fishing swivels or washing up liquid? 😂

Why don’t you have the lube sitting out on a coffee table along with the giant bubble tools... then you can sit them down and say “oh, sorry. Please ignore that! It’s just for making giant bubbles” and then tell them the recipe!

This is genius! Unfortunately I’ve only ordered a small bag of the stuff (a whole bottle would just degrade before I could use it all) so it wouldn’t be clear... I might have to order a whole bottle just so I can do this!

Cough mixture works well too. We have expired cough mixture in the kitchen for making bubbles.

Ooh I haven’t heard that - I guess that’s because some include glycerine?

If you like big bubbles you should try this - I am super excited, just gutted it won’t arrive until next week!

i worked with a young girl who told me that she and her bourfriend helped her mum move house. while the boyfriend was helping to shift her mums wardrobe, her mums vibrator rolled off the top of it, clunked him on the head and knocked him out!

AnybodysDude
You are a bit lucky-in the murky world of the Internet "CBT" often means....er….."Cock and Ball Torture"!

nah you win op. nothing ive done (including buying shedloads of stuff from lovehoney) tops that.

i salute you madam!

Me & my son were queuing up to pay in a cramped, hot sports direct, tills right at the back of the shop. As the man in front moved to pay, he left the most foul smelling fart you could imagine. Seriously, it was like something dead. I couldn't believe he'd done it in such a tiny, hot, airless space. It was one of the worst things I'd ever smelt, I couldn't help myself, so I said out loudly 'Thanks for leaving that here with us, very kind of you' and then muttered 'dirty bastard;'under my breath. To which my 12 year old aspergers son put his hand up like he was in class and said quite proudly (and loudly) ' No mum, that was me, I did it!'

Oh god, the shame. And he kept saying 'You blamed that man over there, but it really was me, and it's not right that you think it's him when it's me' Of course everyone heard.

I apologised to the cashier when it was our turn, she said it was OK but had to excuse herself to open the door behind us at one point.

We never went back!

DH once popped over to the local for a pint after a hard day at work, he told me it was dead so he was just going to have one or two then come back so I sent him a boob photo to try and get him to hurry back. It arrived just as he was speaking to one of the regulars and had decided to show the old guy something on his phone. He got to see a lot more than he was expecting.

Actually no, there is one more that tops that. I once got a cardboard tampon applicator stuck up me and ended up in A&E having it removed. The poor doctor was stuck between my legs for what seemed like an eternity, and at one point apologised for it taking so long but said the problem was, I had a bulging vagina. My response was very british... I apologised

Just recently I had to go back to the same A&E for something else & I'm sure the doctor that saw me had looked through my notes and seen the bulging vagina incident because he actually laughed when he first introduced himself.

Op, I love you and your easy bubble-in-bubble fetish.

while the boyfriend was helping to shift her mums wardrobe, her mums vibrator rolled off the top of it, clunked him on the head and knocked him out!

Oh my god! We actually found a few in the loft after my mum passed away, I guess she didn’t use them much

To which my 12 year old aspergers son put his hand up like he was in class and said quite proudly (and loudly) ' No mum, that was me, I did it!'
Oh no! My twins have ASD, I suppose I should be grateful they aren’t talking yet in some ways!

onefoot as a teen before my endo was diagnosed, I had so many swabs and stuff done. When I was about 14 my friend’s dad was the only GP I could get an appointment with. After the speculum was in he started saying he’d seen me singing in a concert and what a lovely voice I had. I quite wanted to die.

And just a few weeks ago, I waltzed into a meeting for my part rime maternity services job to be confronted with my gynaecologist. Spent the whole time trying not to make eye contact while trying to be professional. Wasn’t very easy!

Op, I love you and your easy bubble-in-bubble fetish

I think I might actually develop a bubble fetish at this rate - it’s all far too interesting.

I am officially a sad old lady.

kittypillar your story reminds me of one of my male university friends.

One summer he was staying with his girlfriend at her parents’ house. It had all been a bit formal and so when his GF and parents announced they were popping next door for a coffee with neighbours my friend took the opportunity to go up to his bedroom, lie on the bed naked from the waist down, pop on his headphones, close his eyes and have a nice leisurely wank. When he finally came round and opened his eyes someone had thoughtfully left him a cup of tea and a slice of toast on the bedside table. Turns out his GF’s mother had decided to stay at home.

No, he and the GF didn’t stay together!

onefoot is that a medical definition? Definitely don’t want to google!

OP I wonder if you might make it worse for yourself if you bring it up again? After a month they might have bleached their brain forgotten about it.

I think he was having you on YouOkayHun unless he’s the source of that particular urban myth...

While still living at my mums house in my late teens/early 20's. Me and DP were getting ready for a little but of nooky in bed, we decided to use my little bullet vibrator to get things heated abit quickly.
Once that was done I tucked it under my pillow to clean and put away later... halfway through hooky I knocked the vibrator off my bed, it landed button down on my solid wood flooring, started vibrating intensely across the hardwood floor.

I jumped our of bed Bullock ass naked, ass in the air on all fours chasing my virbtaor across the room. It was so loud I could have curled up and died right there.

To this day I will not look my mum in the eye and DP calls me a naked ape now.

My dm uses my Amazon account (she's never in to get parcels, I have a secure delivery box...), she came round one day to collect her parcel, I waved vaguely at the table and said "it's over there", dm took parcel and went home.
10 minutes later, Amazon man delivers dm's parcel.
Yes, dm had gone home with the love honey parcel I'd ordered and had been delivered earlier than expected.