Oh please help me not be so broody!

[ohsobroody]

Please hit me with your stories of the unappealing side of being a parent and help me feel a bit better about waiting for the right time!!

As a bit of background I had a horrible abusive ex for most of my twenties. We split and I wen through a period of being single and did some therapy and work with women's aid to assist me in not repeating the pattern.

In time I met a wonderful man who is absolutely kind, loving and respectful.
We both own our own homes and have good jobs, we have talked about the future and both want marriage/children.

We are still in the run stage of going on holidays and enjoying disposable income etc. We've agreed that down the line when my implant expires (jan 2021) we will try for a baby. With a view to being married by then. We haven't really done the traditional engagement more of a discussion that we both want that etc. We've now been together 19months if it's important.

But I have gone from little to no interest in being a mother to being obsessed. It's like now I'm in a relationship with a lovely guy who I adore and would be a wonderful father it's all I can think about!! He's 30 and I'm 29. Our timetable makes plenty of sense in terms of saving up more etc and being protected by marriage but now that it's on the table it's all I can think about.

Please regale me with your tales of sleepless nights to help me calm down and just enjoy this time

We did the waiting thing. When we had our first DD I didn't know why we waited, not helpful sorry Although the lack of sleep is shit, as is teething, weaning, potty training....the list is endless. The positives will outweigh the negative though, when the time comes.

I wanted to wait till I was 30. Had a massive blow out year. Did amazing holidays etc ready for trying. Don't regret waiting at all

Hah thanks @Welder although not massively helpful I think that's the problem, it seems a bit arbitrary now that I've agreed to it, but years of lurking on mumsnet make me think the sensible think really is to wait and be married etc .. but it's just hit me so hard lately, we both want it and we're in a good position so why wait?!

I haven't slept in 8 months.
You can have mine if you would like.

Thanks @ForTheLoveOfDoughnuts that's exactly what we're doing, we've been on holiday recently to Canary Islands and got
Two big trips planned to America and Bali that would be much harder with a baby/babies with a view to having some great pre baby adventures under our belt

Haha thanks @Mississippilessly that's actually a great idea, I've got quite a few close friends with babies/under 3s so maybe I should offer some more babysitting time to help me savour a few more baby few years!!

Come to my house for a day...it would soon put you off .

In all seriousness though, may I suggest the following...

Smear your walls with ketchup

Go and sit in a soft play centre for a couple of hours

Set an alarm clock to wake you every 45 minutes all night

Make a delicious meal from scratch then chuck it on the floor...clean the floor up then tip a box of cereal over it

Put some mashed banana in your hair

Take some money out of the cash point and burn it

If you enjoy all these things, then you should definitely have a child!

That properly made me laugh

@formerbabe al excellent advise!! I'm my heart of hears I know that waiting just a little longer is 100% the right move I'm just struggling with this sudden deep desire I didn't experience at all earlier on!!

The babysitting might not help. I find that hanging around small children makes broodiness much worse. I just spent a week with a very toddlery toddler and have been telling myself (and particularly my ovaries) to stop being ridiculous.

This, of course, is one of the advantages of a coil. The need to organise and wait for an appointment to take one out gives you plenty of time to stop thinking with your hormones. 😂

I've been pretty honest on here about how much I've disliked being a parent so far and really regret it. It's totally changed my relationship with my amazing partner so please don't think it's all roses

I'm so envious of you right now

DD planned and had at 30. Waited 8 years.

I am so fucking tired, I think it might actually die. In fact I'm pretty sure tonight will be the end of me.

Nursery fees are 1250 per month

What the pregnancy and following emergency C-section did to my body, I don't even want to think about.

Get a bloody pet girl!

The next time you need to nip to the shops for something - don't. Instead set an alarm for 2 hours time. Then go. Because that's the approximate amount of time it will take (once you have a baby toddler)from your thought of "oh we need some milk" to actually getting out of the front door.

In that 2 hour time slot you will have: changed a nappy/wrestled with baby/toddler limbs to get them dressed, re-dressed them after they have taken all their clothes off, re-changed a nappy after they decide to poo 1 minute before you're due to step out of the door, fed them so they don't scream with hunger at the shop, washed your hair as its covered in baby food/sick, changed your own clothes because they're covered in baby food/sick, packed a changing bag, y'know - just in case, wrestled getting said baby/toddler into a pram.

Alternatively, at 2am either throw up or poo on your bed, making sure it goes in any cracks and crevices, bed slats, clothes etc. Then spend a pleasant hour cleaning it all out, poking cracks with sharp instruments to get the poo/sick properly out. Then have a 3am shower to get the poo/sick out of your hair/nails. Then sleep on the settee as you can't sleep with the lingering stench. This will prepare you for baby doing the same in a cot.

P.S. I have 3. They are a joy. Nature ensures you forget all the 'bad' bits to ensure continuation of the species, or the world would be full of only 1-child families! I was only able to describe the above scenarios because I racked my brains to try to remember the worst bits. Go for it!

Tantrums, the word NO all day, poo nappies, she doesn't want to put shoes on ever, she pulls my hair (accidentally), she pulls my clothes and follows me everywhere even to the toilet, i can't leave the house easily anymore, no lay ins. Massive fucking arguments with dh.

Just off the top of my head !

Oh and I'm fat. So fat.

Borrow a 20 month old, 2 year old and 3 year old for a long weekend...

You will be cured

Don’t do it at all. Your life will be over!
Honestly, if I had the time again I would have NO children but if I absolutely had to have them I’d wait as long as possible and just have one.
I’m bored, I’m tired, it’s thankless, it’s relentless, you might get a dc with additional needs like my son and then it’s even worse. Honestly in my mind the negatives MASSIVELY outweigh the positives. I have no positives.

Oh and I’m also really jealous of you, you have all the opportunities and chances still open to you. Trust me they narrow hugely once you’ve had a child for most women. Having it all is a lie.

Oh and make tiny deposits of vomit all over your favourite clothes, small enough that you don't immediately see it but can smell it all day.

I wish my partner and I had got married before having kids; now many years down the line, marriage isn’t happening there’s just no money for it!

I posted an hour and a half ago and she's still not asleep...

Thank you!! These are all super helpful and make me realise I should definitely enjoy the next few years of uninterrupted sleep, lie ins and the opportunity for responsibility free day drinking!!

Having to make the choice of an evening about whether to: a) just go to sleep because you're so knackered ALL THE TIME b) at least attempt some cleaning because the house is a tip ALL THE TIME or c) just sit on Mumsnet/go for a run/watch a box set because that hour is the only time you will get to yourself for another 24 hours

@ohsobroody please have a drink and a lie in for all of us.

Enjoy being ill on your own while you can. No really! When you are ill and a parent you can't curl up in bed and just sleep.

There will be a small person (probably also ill) who'll need food, entertaining, cuddles, constant clothes changes, bedding changes, disinfecting all areas, cleaning the carpet etc. All while you feel utterly shit.

Then kids recover in the blink of an eye and bounce off the walls still needing entertaining and feeding etc. And you still feel shit.

One of mine once vomitted in the top bunk and it somehow went all on the bottom bunk too. Then she was sick on me too. All at 2am. Cue one small ill crying child needing a bath, I need a bath, two beds needing stripping and remaking, another small child crying because she got woken up (she'll catch it soon too). And me yelling for DH, who manages to sleep through it all .

It's one of the things I miss most about my pre children life, being ill on my own...