So out of curiosity - work, children, 'me' time, help... I wonder if there is an average?

[Callistone]

I'm just nosy whether there's an average on MN or how wildly different it all is.

I have DC age 7 and 2. I work 4 days a week with long commute 3 of those days. DH works f/t on shifts. No family on the doorstep, no cleaner - amazing childminders though and lots of friendly school mums nearby. Most weekends I'm solo parenting as DH is at work. DC are good sleepers at least so get good evenings every day, but little opportunity to go out.

Anyone else care to share?

Me and OH work full time and have 9 and nearly 7 year old.

Our routine is literally, me taking the children to breakfast club at school, then rushing to work. OH picks them up from after school club and makes the dinner. Our weekends are spent rushing around them around their various activities and other family commitments.

That's our life.... don't have time for much else.

Two DC’s 11 & 6. Me and DH both work full/5 days per week. I have a longish commute to work. I do the drop off and get to work by 09:45. I have no lunch break and leave to collect them both from after school club at six. The only me time I get is my commute. DC11 will start secondary school in Sept so they won’t be at the same school any more, not sure what the plan is then.

Two DCs 3 and 4. My DM cares for the little one and does school run on Monday. Tuesday to Thursday they’re at school and preschool. Dh drops them off and does a full work day. I work 9-2. Get home at 2.40 and have 40 minutes me-time/ laundry/tidying up time then collect both from school at 3.30pm. Often host play dates too. Friday I have the little one and do the school run. Dh gets in at 6 each day and we both do bedtime. Weekend we hang out as a family but each adult takes a few hours to ourselves and each get a lie in.

Two DCs 5 and 3. Both have ASD which complicates our lives as things like after school or holiday club or going home with a friend are impossible. We both now work part time (I do 2.5 days a week and DH does equivalent of 4 days a week) so we can do all the school runs between us. No me time for either of us at the moment!

I am a single parent. I work 4 days a week where I drop children at 7.45 and pick up just before 6. Fridays I take both to school and get three hours to myself before picking youngest up .
Their dad also takes them out sometimes although not regularly (as he works ) at weekends .
My parents babysit every few weeks so I can go out with friends .

3 children - teenager, 5 and 2. Both work full time. DH starts work at 7 so I get all children ready and drop 2 small ones at childminder for 7.45. Work 8 til 5 (til 6 once or twice a week). DH picks 2 year old up at lunchtime and 5 year old from school. He goes back to work for 2 hours while I do tea, baths and bedtime. Teenager mostly sorts herself. We watch tv for an hour or so before bed. Weekends are generally one day house stuff, swimming lessons etc and one day something fun. We each tend to have a couple of hours to ourselves - I read in the bath and DH plays on the computer.
It's monotonous sometimes and the list of jobs to do never ends but I know with the eldest that it does get easier!

oh and no family nearby and no paid services - would love a cleaner and a gardener.

I've got a 4 year old and almost 2 year old. Work from home three days a week, though usually end up working more due to flexible arrangement. Dh works shifts and erratic ones at that. Usually working most weekends either rostered in or doing overtime. Kids go to childcare 2/3 days a week respectively with mil having them for a 3/4 on a Friday. Father in law mucks in sometimes but usually with me there.

Dh and I go out a fair bit, but this is tied to my job so what is often viewed as a relaxing evening my brain is usually working ten to the dozen as is "relax". Don't really get much "me" time. Just booked an evening yoga class so hopefully that's going to help destress me a bit.

Sadly, my few close friends live very far away and will see each other on an annual basis rather than regularly. I get quite lonely tbh.

I have cleaners thankfully. Though house still looks a state most days.

I wonder about this a lot, because I have hardly any "me" time. But I'm sure there's a way, it would just mean spending less time with the kids at the weekend, and I'm not sure I'm up for thAt.

We used babysitters for nights out and worked around each other’s schedule for visits to the gym. Easier as they got older as we could do bike rides in the park together at weekends.

3yo & 11yo DSs
I officially work 3 days a week but as I own my own practice I end up doing evenings and weekends too sometimes
DH works 60hrs a week plus on calls so isn't that helpful with the kids
3yo in nursery when I'm in work but I do have to the school runs everyday too as we didn't get into our local school so I have to drive eldest (can't wait for secondary when he can get the bus)
No family nearby but MIL/FIL sometimes will come and stay when we are really stuck or I am poorly.
My mum has dementia so cannot help, I manage her finances and organise her care at home which can be tough and speak to her several times a day.
No cleaner but I do make the kids help with cleaning. We have gardeners because we have a huge garden and not enough time to do basic maintenance.
I am also the chair of the local branch of my professional organisation, not sure how I got roped into that one. I kinda count it as me time as that's all I get.
I'm exhausted and so is DH - our weeks holiday in the summer is particularly anticipated this year!

We don't have hired help, Dh is a musician, composer arranger.
I don't work, 2 of our dc are grown ups and dd is 15.
We don't have a routine, plenty of time for each other on a daily basis, and lots of personal time too.
We aren't typical.
When kids were little we were pretty much the same but throw in school run and travel to activities.

DC's are 7, 2 and 7mo. DH works full time and I am on mat leave. Pre mat leave I was working part time, term time only and mostly from home. I will starting childminding in the next few months though which will likely be 3 days a week.

Life is so busy and we don't get downtime or respite. Really finding life tough atm.

3DC -7, 4 and 2. DH and I both work FT, with commutes of 1 hour each way. We have a cleaner for 3 hours a week but tbh that barely scratches the surface, it's all the other stuff like laundry, cooking etc that is the killer. We have 1 child in nursery and the other 2 are in wrap around care.

It's really hard. I'm not sure what the answer is and I definitely couldn't tell you what "me" time is, think I last had some around 2011...

I don't know whether it's reassuring or depressing to see most people are the same!

I’ve done a few versions - sahm, worked ft, worked adhoc freelance from home, s/e

Currently sahm as have a 17 month old - have some income of my own too

Older dc at school so not too hard, plus cleaner and ad hoc gardener

Don’t go out much as still doing night time routine

We have a 14 month old. DH travels a lot for work and I work long hours so we have a nanny, I rush home to do bedtime then work remotely for a few more hours, usually until 10/11pm. Get pretty much no me time. Something needs to change!

Im a single mum and work part time around the youngests nursery hours. Their dad has them eow but i then work those weekends so i dont have to spend half my wages on childcare. Social life involves playdates and bbqs were we are all invited, might get the odd hour to myself a couple of times a week and thats when i squeeze in jobs that are difficult to do with 3dc in tow! Wouldnt change a thing though.

We have one 11 month old, and both work full-time, but with some flexibility so I pick him up from the childminder at lunchtime one day a week and DH picks him up at 4 two days a week. This is made up for by evening working so we don't get that much downtime - we try and make sure no one works on weekend evenings, so we get that time together (he's a decent sleeper for the time being). I try and stick to missing no more than one bedtime a week, but that's nearly always a work event - I think I've been out for fun three times since we had DS, and DH and I are yet to have a first evening out together without him. We have a cleaner and his grandparents look after DS one day a week - he goes to the childminder the other four.

I'm actually finding life busy but pretty great at the moment - but only having one DC who is in a pretty easy phase at the moment helps a lot there, obviously!

I will add - I really, really like my job and it's very self directed (I'm an academic on a research only contract) which makes getting much not totally 'free' time much easier, as I find work tiring and demanding but not confining.

I feel lucky reading this thread.

Four kids baby to 13 years.

DH works ft and I work 4 days, 3 of those are long hours as it’s a 5 day compressed week.

We have a live-in many who gets the kids up and ready for school, does all play dates and dinner and gets them ready for bed on the four days I work. We are sometimes around for some of that but don’t have to do anything.

I have a cleaner once a week so I never have to hoover etc. The nanny also does quite a bit of tidying.

My “me” time is my commute when I listen to audio books and then 3x yoga classes a week. DH and I also usually go out with friends one night a week and each of us goes out without the other once a week.

My week is pretty much like yours, except my dh doesn’t usually work weekends. 2 dc in school and nursery. I work 4 days, 3 long days (13 hours between when I leave and get home) with a long commute, 1 more like 7 hour day from home. We don’t get much time to ourselves as weekends are eaten up my errands, DIY, family activities, homework, prep for the week. But dh and I both go away a couple weekends a year. Neither of us have good friends who live close by as they’ve all dispersed now and my work friends live near my office, so no one to just go meet for a drink or lunch. I would love that just to have a few hours with friends. But we end up having to plan and travel to see friends now (closest live 1.5 hours away) so we mostly stay home. Youngest is still too little to stay with a babysitter so we just have evenings together at home. I do love to travel though and I do a weekend break or two each year (alone, it’s wonderful!).

One DD, 16 months. DH works full time and I work 3 days a week. We have pretty much no family support and are new to the area so no friends we can ask to do childcare, so just us really. On the days I work I give DD her dinner as soon as we get in while DH has half an hour of quiet, then he takes her up to bed later on so I get half an hour. On my days off I'm with DD all day - we do playgroup once day a week and see a friend the other day. DH is in at 5 and does her dinner, then we do bath and bedtime together. Same at the weekends. DH takes her out for a long walk one day at the weekend so I get an hour and a half to myself. On the days I don't work DH leaves really early and sits in a coffee shop with his Kindle for an hour or so, so he gets a bit of time too. He also goes rowing one evening a week. DD is a very good sleeper so we do get an evening. We have a cleaner. I do most of the tidying and laundry, DH does the cooking. It works for us. It's tiring but much easier than when DD was really small.

I have no kids and work full time (40 hours pw.) Cleaning/cooking/general life admin takes about an hour a day and maybe a couple more on a Sunday. The rest of the time is free to spend with dp or by myself. I've counted and its approx 35hours a week of free time.