1 of 2 Sorry, had to post my OP in two parts - stupid App!
Sorry, it's a long one but please read if you can...
I love my DD (4) to bits, of course I do. But I can't do this anymore.
For context, I'm a disabled lone parent after her so-called Dad (who was my Carer) ran off with a Nurse when DD was 12 months. He hasn't seen DD since. His parents have hardly bothered either. They all live miles away.
I only have my elderly Mum and useless brother for family. I don't have any friends besides one whom I speak to on the phone (and coincidentally lives near DD's DF & his family).
I'm currently suffering from horrific depression & anxiety. It's making me angry, teary, barely able to function most days and on the verge of becoming Suicidal (have attempted in the past and once actually briefly succeeded).
I really want to make a point of stating that my DD is NOT neglected in any way. I make sure that, no matter how painful/difficult for me in times of crisis/upset, she has NO idea there's anything wrong. She's well looked after, has all she could ever need & more and most of what she wants as well! She's a very, very happy kid and is known in her class for being the happiest, full of beans, never-stops-bloody-singing type!
She is also NOT my Carer (as was automatically presumed & declared by a poster on here once, as soon as I mentioned I was a disabled lone parent 
) She's a fab kid and flipping hilarious. (Especially if you just listen to her chattering to herself whilst playing!)
Despite her amazing-ness (not a word, I know!), I just cannot cope. I honestly can't. I can't do it anymore 😢
I've tried talking to people about this, I've cried out to my Mum for emotional support but unfortunately, my Mum doesn't 'do' emotional support 🤨. However, she does look after her for me one night per week (afternoon to lunchtime) and then in half term an additional day & couple of hours during another day which I fully appreciate. I'd genuinely be in a much, much worse place if she didn't. I don't disregard all that she does do.
However, I've tried a thousand times in a thousand different ways to have a normal, calm conversation with her about how I'm feeling and my desire for her to give a little more emotional support but she categorically doesn't know what she is meant to say or do. She's just not an 'emotion' person. No hugs as a kid etc.
Her & my Dad were just the same like that, God rest his soul.
My point being, that my Mum is not an avenue I can further explore for additional help here. She's 75 and whilst fitter than most her age (long dog walks), she is feeling her age and cannot cope with DD for more than 24 hours. It's too much for her too.