I’ll do a bbq love, you put your feet up!

[BarbarAnna]

Anyone else dealing with the aftermath, having commis cheffed their way through the ‘feet up’ period?

Bless him after all that effort, he is asleep in front of the football. I am waiting for the dishwasher to finish so I can put the next load in and waiting for the burnt on stuff to finish soaking so I can scrub it!

You're being a martyr. Get him to pitch in properly or he'll never learn how much work is involved. Of course there's some footie on tonight so you'll be lucky to tear him away from the telly.

Ffs I hate this shit. Unless he tidies up after you cook, leave it for him!

He was dead keen on cooking. He is hardly ever around to cook so I encouraged it. After 90 minutes of being bossed around and 90 minutes of clearing up, I was somewhat regretting my encouragement!

This is probably more light hearted than it comes across. He does mean well and is generally a good’un!

If he's cooking, then let him get on with it. And the cleaning up. Or he will never get how much work it is.

It's a Man and Fire thing
They bloody love cooking on fire( unless it's a gas hob and midweek)

You are enabling this nonsense

I know what you're saying, my DH offers to barbecue some meat and says I get the night off from cooking but he would serve burgers and sausages, nothing else! So I prep other things, take out what we need, sauces, salad, drinks and so on.

Beats standing over a hot stove on a sunny day but certainly isn't a night off

Why did you marry a child then ?

You'll probably appreciate this OP, but seriously, don't just do all the skivvying and cleaning up, he can scrub all the burnt stuff if you've put it all into soak and done 2 dishwasher loads.

BBQ RULES:
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women

Dross like that ^ just cements stereotypes and enables shitty behaviour from men/martyrdom from women.

Wow!
I think I've stepped back to 50s England on this thread ....

You are enabling this nonsense

Seconded. You can stop it, you know.

I do the BBQs in this house and the family lay the table and clear away/ dishwasher.

I have effectively poo-pooed barbecues because of exactly this. He suggests barbecue? I say “Great idea - but it’s honestly just easier if I stick it all under the grill.” Because it is!!

DH does spectacular BBQ's around this time of year and I sit with a cocktail in my hand and read my book while he meddles with meat for hours upon hours. It's like a pride thing for him to present us a plate filled with smoked BBQ ribs (which he smoked himself, by the way) and loudly proclaim "I smoked them MYSELF, you know".

He clears his own shite away, though, so I'm keeping him.

I didn’t write the above rules by the way and it was meant to be lighthearted - my teenage son saw it and sent it to me a while ago as we’ve laughed about BBQ ‘etiquette’ in the past. He’s more than capable and makes a very good job of salads, serviette folding and clearing up the burnt offerings

My parents operate bbqs like this.

In my house I bbq because despite not having a penis I appreciate a good fire far more than DH.

I do all the prep too. Although he does the bulk of the clearing up.

Dh couldn't BBQ if he tried. Well,he could but it wouldn't be nice

Never start a light hearted thread like this op...after being questioned about why you married someone so useless you will be criticised for enabling this! Eventually you'll be given divorce advice

Everyone on mn seems to be married to men who never stop cleaning and cooking and anything less is Ltb territory.

Back in the real world...

Massive family bbq yesterday...

Dh did the actual bbq as last time I managed to burn my arm 🤷‍♀️

He helped with all the prep...shopping, sides...cutting of buns...helped put all the food out.

Only think I did was make the salad as he always manages to mangel it! I also did the chicken kebabs as dh hates touching raw chicken (he did the pork and beef ones)

He also helped tidy up, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher! I do admit we used paper plates and cups (so at the end they just all went into the recycling bin)

He is a star 🌟

My dh is a fantastic everyday family cook. And good at fancy stuff too.
As was my Dad who was born in 1920s in working class Salford. Taught me how to sew too.
Pick better partners.

I cook every day. I’m a great cook but a bloody untidy one. My DH clears up after me. Works for us.