Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Just witnessed some horrible parenting

110 replies

Scion123 · 01/06/2019 15:49

In the local park and a family (looks like the mum’s are sisters with their children). Mum gets on one of those big basket swings with her mum. The aunt starts swinging them, little girl gets very upset, sobbing and shouting ‘Please stop I feel sick’. The mum’s are absolutely creased up with laughter. Poor little girls gets more and more distressed and eventually starts screaming. Aunt is still pushing higher and higher. The girl then goes silent and they gradually bring the swing to a hault. She says ‘I couldn’t breathe’ and is doing those deep sobs. Takes herself off and sits quietly by herself while the mum’s are still cackling like a pair of hyenas.

Stupid bitches.

OP posts:
Buildingwoes · 01/06/2019 17:11

I intervened very politely once when I saw a child quite upset. I didn't criticise I just commented she seemed distressed, was she ok and offered to help (mum and what I assume were grandparents were talking loudly over her increasing cries).

I was told in no uncertain terms that she was fine, being a drama queen, that it was none of my business and I should keep my nose out and how pathetic I was. This from the gran while the mum and grandad basically flanked her laughing and jeering at me. It was quite unpleasant.

Would I intervene again? Probably not. They were pretty middle class btw, much better spoken than me but a bunch of twats all the same.

BlackeyedGruesome · 01/06/2019 17:13

The sexual abuse comment: presumably because the child learns that crying and complaining are not going to be listened to and adults can do what they like, they are less likely to say no to other stuff or be vulnerable to seeking love and approval elsewhere if their life is always that shitty. Not that the actual incident is sexually abusive or the parents are anything other than twats.

Just guessing this is what the pp means.

ifyouneedmenow · 01/06/2019 17:13

And I said sorry you took offence .

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
RuffleCrow · 01/06/2019 17:18

This reminds me of my cousin's parenting. She would deliberately wind her son up to the point of hysteria and her and her friends would laugh at him. He now has Issues and I don't have anything to do with her.

Original poster
Scion123 · 01/06/2019 17:21

ifyouneedmenow saying ‘sorry that you took offence’ isn’t the same as saying sorry for what you’d posted.

OP posts:
ifyouneedmenow · 01/06/2019 17:27

Hmmm maybe if you were a bit more outspoken in real life than on Mumsnet we wouldn't have this thread . Hmm
I did say sorry so no need to take it out on me you will get a lot worse on here those who are never ever sorry but I honestly wouldn't want to upset anyone.

nc100 · 01/06/2019 17:27

Chocolate what did you expect the staff in Clarks to do exactly?

Anything they can do, you can do surely?

And the poster who intervened while the parents weren't lavishing attention on a child having a tantrum Confused that is not the same.

somecakefather · 01/06/2019 17:31

How did this so quickly descend into giving me a bashing?

I've noticed a trend on Mumsnet recently. The first few posters instantly disagree with the OP, giving smart arse answers...then a pile on happens for usually the first page...and then the sensible people come along after that and are utterly bewildered as to why the OP is getting a bashing. The topic is irrelevant.

Buildingwoes · 01/06/2019 17:31

The child wasn't having a tantrum thanks. She was genuinely upset and distressed. Just like the child in the OP but for different reasons. But what because her parent wasn't some loud mouthed common person it was just a tantrum?

Trust me I know what I saw. Just like the OP did.

isthatabloborwhat · 01/06/2019 17:32

The OP's first duty was to her own dc - and not to put her or her dc's safety at risk by remonstrating with a bunch of unpleasant types.

Honestly, I despair of MN sometimes.

nc100 · 01/06/2019 17:36

You're welcome building.

What you have described is my youngest when he has a tantrum. He looks completely distraught. Distressed and upset would be good words to describe him.

He's a bloody drama queen too though sometimes. And somebody poking their nose in would not be welcome.

Never mentioned any class issues Confused

DullPortraits · 01/06/2019 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MrMeSeeks · 01/06/2019 17:38

How did this so quickly descend into giving me a bashing?
Because some people like sticking the boot in for no reason other than making them feel better.

Original poster
Scion123 · 01/06/2019 17:38

ifyouneedmenow point taken that you did at least include a ‘sorry’ which you’re right, it’s sadly a rarity on here.

Hmmm maybe if you were a bit more outspoken in real life than on Mumsnet we wouldn't have this thread I am perfectly capable of speaking up for myself when I feel it’s appropriate and safe to do so. Yes we might not have had this thread because I might have been in hospital or comforting my own children. As I’ve said previously that was my call to make and once again,there’s no need to be curt.

OP posts:
somecakefather · 01/06/2019 17:41

Ring 101 if necessary they can send pcsos to the play area to do a welfare check if necessary

That's ridiculous.

Buildingwoes · 01/06/2019 17:41

Well of course then nc100 you must be right and common old me must be wrong.

I'm surprised you've not told the OP the child she saw was just having a tantrum too.

Original poster
Scion123 · 01/06/2019 17:42

DullPortraits again I’m being genuine in asking this. If I’d have rung 101 and reported a child being very upset because their parent had pushed them too high for too long on the swing even though they’d been begging them to stop would they actually have sent someone out? I feel like I’d have been laughed at,even though it was horrible and abusive I just can’t imagine they’d have taken it seriously.

OP posts:
Soola · 01/06/2019 17:44

We know the sort/type of people you mean op and they don’t take kindly to what they see as you poking your nose in.

I’m not shy and I’m capable of facing someone down but these types will not listen to reasoned talk and will think nothing if bashing you and it not being a fair fight either as they will all pile in.

Common sense tells you that if they are acting badly towards a child in public they aren’t going to give a flying fuck what you think anyway.

“Is the little girl ok she looked very frightened?”

“Fuck off you nosy cunt!”.

“I don’t think it was very nice to scare her like that.”

Next minute they’ve blacked your eye and tied you to the swing. Sad

Soola · 01/06/2019 17:46

Ring 101 if necessary they can send pcsos to the play area to do a welfare check if necessary

More chance of Superman arriving before them.

RaptorWhiskers · 01/06/2019 17:47

If they’re capable of abusing their own child god knows what they’d have done to OP if she’d intervened. The best she could hope for is being told to fuck off, worst case they might actually have attacked OP or her DC. People saying she should have intervened have obviously led sheltered lives and have no idea what these sort of scum are capable of.

DullPortraits · 01/06/2019 17:48

@Scion123 like i said I wasn't there but if you rang them and said there was a very distressed child and the adults around them were just stood laughing and u felt you couldn't help and you were that uncomfortable it would be up to them to log/ folllow up etc. Then you could walk away knowing you had tried to help. Often child abuse cases arent found after one report. Its lots of little pieces logged and a bigger picture built.

DullPortraits · 01/06/2019 17:53

Its op describing the behaviour as " horrible" and "abusive" and are we not all meant to report child abuse? If you saw a man abusing a woman in public you would phone police no? Why not adults abusing children in public?? Oh yeah cos "its none of my business" strange world we do live in

ALongHardWinter · 01/06/2019 17:58

I'm amazed at the number of posters that think the OP should have confronted a group of intimidating people! I don't blame her in the slightest for not intervening.

CustardCreamLover · 01/06/2019 18:02

OP people behind computer screens are very confident. Ignore the people bashing you.

I wouldn't have been able to say anything either if there was a big group of them as much as I would have wanted to. That poor little girl.

ilikemethewayiam · 01/06/2019 18:06

I had a similar situation. I was driving to work after a dental appointment around mid morning and had to drive through a notorious sink estate. As I slowed to go around a roundabout in front of an infant school a man was about to cross the road in front of me with a little boy of about 4 ish. the littlun was happily chomping on a bag of crisps. I didn’t see what precipitated it but the next thing I saw as the man full belt the little boy around the back of his head. It lifted him off the ground and and he flew face first into the middle of the road. Luckily there was no other cars around but me. The man then flew into a rage, pulled the little boy to his feet by his wrist and drag him across the road leaving his crisps scattered across the road. The child was screaming hysterically! I was frozen in shock! He was gone within seconds into the school gates. I sobbed all the way to work. No mobile phones back then! The man was huge and dressed like a gangster in huge bling etc. he looked terrifying. After speaking to my team leader, together, we called the police and described the man, the school and the incident. They said they would investigate but told me it would not be something they could inform me on the outcome as it would come under child protection services! I have never forgotten it. It still upsets me deeply to this day when I think of it but I can only hope that what I did led to him being helped! I really fail to see what OP could have done without putting herself at risk. I was fortunate as I knew the school and the unusual time he was being dropped off so it would have been easy to trace the child involved.