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Original poster

Travelling abroad with young children as a single parent.

28 replies

BetsyD83 · 31/05/2019 23:24

Does anyone have any experience of travelling with young children as a single parent? My marriage has very recently ended and I'm a bit nervous about taking DD abroad, just the 2 of us.

OP posts:

Mac47 · 31/05/2019 23:35

How old is dd? I've always found it good fun, although you do have to have some contingencies in place (ie screw top wine in your room...)

Original poster

BetsyD83 · 31/05/2019 23:52

DD is 6. It's going to be her first time goimg abroad. Contingencies sound like a good idea!

OP posts:

Fantail · 01/06/2019 00:33

Yes, I’ve travelled a couple of times on my own with DD. Once when she was almost 5 and once when she was 7.5.

Both times were fun for us both. One city break and one resort. Just make sure that you plan the trip around her with enough down time. Take colouring in, books, tablet, card games while you wait in cafes.

At the resort I barely saw her as she made friends with other kids. I sat by the pool and read!

Yes to planning. Food in room. Take a stock of things like painkillers in case you get a headache or she gets a temperature. That way you don’t have to leave the room.

Next year I hope we will be doing a longer trip. She has already been to Japan with her Dad and step-mum.

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BitchQueen90 · 01/06/2019 06:30

Yes. I have been a single parent since DS was 10 months and we have been abroad 7 times just the 2 of us. He's almost 6.

I would say the main thing is not to expect it to be perfect and idyllic the whole time! I first took DS when he was 2 and we still had the toddler tantrums etc that we had at home. Although at 6 that's something you won't have to worry about.

We have just returned from a holiday. DS made friends at the kids club and he played with them in the pool and in the evenings.

Plenty of entertainment for the plane and you'll be good to go!

Booboostwo · 01/06/2019 07:13

I don’t quite see the issue. I am not a single parent but have had to travel alone with two DCs, at times with one in a wheelchair and a younger one in tow. It was fine. What are you worried about?

mindutopia · 01/06/2019 07:57

Just do it, it’s lovely. I’m not a single parent but I like to travel and my dh and other dc can always travel due to work and school commitments, so I go off traveling on my own with whichever one I can when I have time. I took my toddler ds to Barcelona last year and going to Italy this week with my dd.

It is definitely harder if you have more than 1 (I so far have only taken one at a time by myself) or when they are younger (my older one is much easier), but it’s totally doable. You just need to make sure not to plan in too much.

I plan our days around playgrounds and ice cream/cake stops for re fueling, and with my older one, we stop every afternoon to rest, she watches a bit on her tablet, I have a glass of wine, we just get a break before we head off to do something else. There are also single parent travel groups if you want to pair up with another family, if that’s more your thing.

WizzyBee · 01/06/2019 08:13

I should imagine you are feeling a bit nervous as you are recently single and it is all new and a bit daunting. You might find your DS makes friends which means you have an excuse to interact with other adults which can be fun and stop you feeling lonely. It depends how sociable you are though.

Original poster

BetsyD83 · 01/06/2019 14:32

Thanks guys, you've definitely pyt my mimd at ease. My marriage only ended last weekend and we're supposed to fly next month so everything is happening pretty fast. I wasn't expecting to be taking her abroad alone so it's thrown me a little bit.

OP posts:

finallyme2018 · 01/06/2019 15:54

I've taken my son on my own since he was 18 months old, when he was younger it was more same thing different place as he still go to bed and I'd be on my own but from him being 5 or 6 and able to stay up later I love going out for tea and always choose somewhere like kalamaki in zante as they have a childs area called carretta Park where there's rides and bouncy castles then on way home we stop somewhere with abit of music I have a cocktail or 2, whilst he happy to sit and listen as he's tired. Feels more like a proper holiday for me as well as him.

BurntSausage · 01/06/2019 16:06

Not a single parent but I like travelling and DH doesn’t, so I take our DD away sometimes. She’s 5 and we’ve just got back from Berlin. My top tip is PLASTERS and CALPOL. DD has a habit of tripping over her own feet and I’ve learnt the hard way not to go anywhere without them. But that applies in every day life too!

I let her use my old phone and fill it with games and downloaded tv programmes for the journey, with a pair of wireless headphones as not to piss other people off. Snacks are essential too. Pretzels are good as they’re more hardwearing than crisps.

I can understand your trepidation - it can feel a bit overwhelming when everything is on you. I’m always worried I’m going to lose the passports. But you can do it and it’ll be great! Where are you going?

TrickyD · 01/06/2019 16:18

DS2's kids frequently come on holiday with us and him, but the surnames are all the same. His XP also takes them abroad, different surname. Once an official looked at the passports and asked "Who is this lady?" DGC replied "She's my mummy" . All waved through. But be prepared to be questioned.

smallereveryday · 01/06/2019 17:48

Really important bit of advice..
get a letter from your child's father giving permission for dc to travel overseas. Ideally take their bc (copy) . Necessary because it is the law. !
The exception is only if you were t married and didn't name dc dad on the birth certificate. (Again the copy will prove this)
You require consent from all persons with PR for your child to give consent unless their is a Court Order in place naming you as resident parent and a bit on the end of the order that explicitly gives you permission to go abroad for up to 28days. Otherwise you need that letter.

There will now be people piling in with anecdotes about how they have travelled abroad '100s of times and never been asked' .. this is entirely irrelevant. It is the law. Don't do it.
I learned to my cost when I was stopped 7 years ago with 3 hyper-excited children. It is utterly soul destroying. We were refused boarding. Ex was a dickhead and wouldn't comply. Border officials even offered to let him fax a letter and copy of his passport but he was 'too busy '

Had to go home, go to court and get a specific steps order. Took 3 weeks and couldn't afford another holiday. Awful awful time. Please don't risk it.

Going abroad without consent leaves you open to arrest for child abduction.

JustLooking2019 · 01/06/2019 18:17

@smallereverday

How awful that happened to you.
I have never taken my children abroad for fear of that happening. They have a different surname to mine on their passports (their fathers name) so I feel that would flag us up to be questioned immediately. We haven’t been in contact with their father for 11 years now so I would never be able to get permission and would have to get a court order every time we wanted to go abroad with just adds too much cost on

BurntSausage · 01/06/2019 18:42

Gosh Smaller that sounds awful. I’d heard about getting consent, taking birth cert and a letter - and people being stopped for it and the kids questioned. I think I must have read about it on here. Definitely do that based on what Smaller says!

MagicKeysToAsda · 01/06/2019 23:59

Good tips to take emergency supplies like calpol for your child, but my tip is don't forget to also take basic medication for you - you won't be able to nip out and get stuff easily if you have a streaming cold/headache/stomach issue come on suddenly, so remember to take a small amount of stuff for yourself.

smallereveryday · 02/06/2019 09:03

Justlooking2019 . Please don't let my one horrible episode deny your children the opportunity to travel abroad with you ! I would hate that to be what people take from my experience!
Instead - empower yourself and go for it - except do it lin a legal way. I didn't pay a penny for my specific steps order. I just downloaded the form from HMCTS website. Filled it in explaining that the kids lived with me and we would like the courts permission to travel abroad for short holidays not exceeding 14 days 4 x year. (Reality is that we've never been more than once a year for a week but wanted to cover all eventualities).
I then filled out the 'help with fees ' form and although I have always worked ft on over 30k (at the time) , my rent and 3 kids made me eligible for full remission on fees ..

Was issued a court date. Ex had right to object but obviously didn't because being a dickhead to me and the children- is not something he's embarrassed about , however not so happy to do so in front of a judge. ..

Went into court, judge asked me where we were going , how long , and wished me an enjoyable holiday. ! (Took under 5 mins !!)

Please just prepare with a letter, or a SSO. Please don't let dickheads hold you and your children hostage in the UK - you are tougher than that . Literally one form ! Good luck !

Whatevermission · 02/06/2019 09:15

What specifically are you worried about? Illness?

JustLooking2019 · 02/06/2019 18:29

@smallereveryday

Thank you for sharing your experience. It has in fact just made me glad that I never took the risk when so many people told me they’ve taken their children abroad without permission “loads of times”and that I was silly for not trying it.
Thanks too for the info about the specific steps order, are you saying you did it once and it applies for every holiday you may wish to take until they are adults? I was led to believe I would have to get one each and every time we wanted to go abroad (not that it’d be a lot anyway!) and also it was mentioned that my ex would be contacted first to get his permission and then if he said no I’d have to go to court

BigRedLondonBus · 02/06/2019 18:33

I don’t see the problem either? My mum took 2 grandchildren away on holiday on her own to Florida.

It will be fine. What is it the worries you?

Original poster

BetsyD83 · 02/06/2019 20:47

I didn't realise I needed consent from her dad, thanks! I'm feeling much more confident now, raring to go! Thanks guys!

OP posts:

nandaandm · 02/06/2019 21:12

I took my DD to Egypt last year. I was nervous about being so faraway from home alone and also spending 10 days with no one except my DD to talk to but it was a great holiday for us. DD made friends on the first day, and everyone who was near us around the pool made conversation and we even met up with some after our evening meal. We enjoyed it so much we've booked again for just the two of us this year in Turkey. You'll be fine. Enjoy.

WhereForArtThouBray · 02/06/2019 21:18

I remember how scared I was on my firat single parent holiday, I had 3 dc and the youngest was 2, so it was hard but you know what, it was also perfect.

I always remember being on a boat trip with them, youngest Ds was on my lap asleep and the other two were chattering away next to me. I felt totally relaxed and blissfully happy. Never before or since have I ever felt so truly happy it has always stayed with me.

If course when we got off the boat ds's beloved hat blew off and he was so upset and DD got a blister off her flip flop but I treasure those moments.

Sorry to hijack a bit there OP but just wanted to tell you it is one of the best things you can do for yourself as a single parent. Just bite the bullet and go for it.

MozzchopsThirty · 02/06/2019 21:20

We have had the most amazing holidays since my divorce

We've done Italy, Florida fly drive, Hong Kong and New York last week.
It's very liberating and I enjoy it far more than being with exh

Take the bull by the horns and dive in
I find I meet more people as a lone parent too

Original poster

BetsyD83 · 02/06/2019 21:22

Wow! It's good to read so many positive stories!

OP posts:

atomicnotsoblonde · 02/06/2019 21:51

@MozzchopsThirty we're planning a Hong king trip - what did you did? When did you go?

OP - on my first trip we were delayed 27 hours. We managed, it was fine and now we can do anything 😘

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