Boarding School realities

[Historicalroad]

Just wondering if anyone who attended Boarding Schools between the 60s and 90s would be willing to share their experiences?

So as to not drip feed, I'm attempting, though failing miserably so far, to write a novel. Purely fictional. I have my characters and a storyline but it works best set in a boarding school.

I've never stepped foot inside a boarding school. I've no idea what they're like but I want to keep it as realistic as possible. I've trawled the internet to try and get an insight into what life is like at boarding schools but I'm struggling. I don't think the plot would fair as well if it was set today, hence why I'm looking at some time between the 60s and the 90s.

George We had washing by hand too, early 80s. Sheets, towels and school shirts went to the laundry. Everything else we did by hand and it dried in the drying room which had a GIGANTIC hot water tank in it.

When I was in the upper 6th the houses started having washing machines iirc.

Tuesday evenings were (mandatory) concert/lectures. We had to wear 'lecture dresses' as opposed to skirts. I don't think they were every week, but can't really remember. We had to sit on tiers (like bleachers in US films). If you were in the middle row you were leaning on legs of bigger girls on the top, and had the younger ones on your legs. Some houses must have been on chairs, but we weren't. Not sure how that was organised.

I am (surprising myself here) going to defend boarding schools.

I went aged 9, and left aged 15. My parents were overseas.
I am not screwed up by boarding, I am a happy well adjusted adult who is able to have and maintain close relationships.

I do find the whole - tar everyone with the same brush attitude tiring.

I am not a fan overall of boarding schools, and I certainly don't think that boarding aged 7 is healthy. But secondary level boarding for many families can and does work. I know of many families in different situations where boarding has worked.

So much depends on the family, and then on the school. There are good and bad of both (see upthread the poster whose housemistress found excuses for her NOT to go home for exeats as she was being abused at home, and school was her refuge)

I have not chosen boarding for my kids. But that doesn't mean it can be a valuable option

steppe I agree. I think for the right child at the right school boarding can be great.

I am reasonably well adjusted, but do have some issues which I relate to boarding. But then, teenage years living with parents can be explosive and damaging form some too.

My overall impression is that safeguarding and pastoral care are so much improved from the past, plus way more contact with home (whether in person or via phones / social media). I don't think then and now are comparable.

When anyone opened the door of the staff room, a cloud of stale smoke would waft out. Exercise books used to smell of it when they came back from marking, and we'd regularly find cigarette ash in them.

I can relate to that description of Boarding School Syndrome, though I do suspect that it's much better nowadays. I was shy anyway, not a gamesy type, and had never been brought up to go to church; being thrust into an environment where we could only be on our own in the bathrooms, with a hefty emphasis on games and religion, was really tough. It didn't help that I was for some reason in a year group where the majority were two years older and had settled friendship groups. All of that was compounded by the very limited availability of visits home. To this day, I can vividly remember the utter misery of sitting at the evening meal after a visit home desperately trying not to cry. When I had children of my own, I simply could not and would not begin to contemplate sending them to boarding school.

When anyone opened the door of the staff room, a cloud of stale smoke would waft out. Exercise books used to smell of it when they came back from marking, and we'd regularly find cigarette ash in them.

That's not a situation unique to boarding schools though.

When anyone opened the door of the staff room, a cloud of stale smoke would waft out. Exercise books used to smell of it when they came back from marking

I started teacher in a state primary in 1991.
Many teachers smoked and staff room reeked of it. Clouds of smoke wafting out. there was a massive and bitter debate in many staff meetings about making the staff room no smoking. But the smokers were long established and (if I am honest) the nicest and most fun out of all the staff, whereas the non smokers, well, weren't!

When I left in 1995, there was still a smoking room. The schools in that London borough finally went smoke free a few years later

I only went to boarding school for my final 2 years at school and found the routine, and always having to be somewhere, tell staff what you were doing very stifling as I'd had a lot of freedom at home previously.

Every morning the younger pupils would wake everyone up by incessantly ringing a bell. After school and Saturday mornings were for activities, which everyone was expected to do, prep every evening, church on Sunday morning. Very little down time. Having to share a room was a shock, and no privacy.

Boarders were always looked down on by the day pupils, I guess they felt sorry for us. So few opportunities to go home or see family. We had to wear uniform most of the weekend so were very conspicuous when out and about.

But we were pretty resilient, adept at being sneaky (smoking, drinking, escaping etc) and looked out for each other. But also a lot of bitchiness that comes from a crowd of girls being stuck together - oh and our periods were in sync.

I would never send my children to boarding school.

I went to a co-ed boarding prep school from ages 10-12 and did not like it at all.
However I went to a co-ed secondary school from 12-18 and absolutely loved it, would relive it if I could!

@georgethebleeder sadly the late 80s to early 90s

My school had its issues but having been there for all of secondary, I think any issues of mine since have been thanks to my own makeup and my family (well-meaning but clueless parents with their own mental/physical health issues), rather than the school itself. Though I hope their new focus on safeguarding and combination locks everywhere is matched by better staff - taking unqualified Antipodeans age 19 and putting them in charge of 60 young teens, with no training from eccentric elderly housemistresses, was always going to be inadequate.
The eccentrics could be great - mine might punish for nothing when she had her Monday morning hangover, but would spend hours sorting out care for girls whose families disowned or ignored them or were abusive. And worked to get refugee status for some.

The rigidity of the Juniors (y7/8) was hardest for me, but the only time I was upset the matron got me to speak to the deputy housemistresses about how it was just all too noisy and boisterous and I'd run out of books, and she asked what I'd do at home, got some jigsaws, and let me do them in her study each evening.

Data protection hadn't been invented yet either, so I overhead loads.

Generally, girls who had caring, sane parents ended up OK. Who had the most mad parents was a constant conversation...

Stergene!!

Green liquid for hand washing, we had to hand wash our clothes and put them in the spin dryer which hopped along the bathroom floor. I don’t know how we got them properly dry or how well they were washed. Forgot that delight.

We were given 5p for church collection on Sunday’s. This was a nice thing, we dressed up in uniform and walked a mile or so to church. The walk was bliss. We swapped the 5p for 1p and made 4p profit on the deal every Sunday. I wonder what the church thought getting 20 pennies in the collection plate, but really the school wasn’t terribly generous giving us 5p. This was late 80’s-early 90’s.

Walking everywhere in a crocodile.

My lasting memory is the total preoccupation with smoking. Cigarettes were a total status symbol and commodity like they are alleged to be in prison.
Girls who were internationals or had pilot fathers brought multiple cartons back from the summer hols and sold them on. The matrons (all smokers) I am sure were in on this and turned a blind eye to the trade and consumption in the elder forms. There was an unwritten rule that you shouldn't smoke till 5th form.

Until 6th form we were restricted on which mufti clothes we were allowed to bring to school .The list was really dated and short ,
2x blouse, 1 skirt , 1 trousers and 1 jumper , lace up shoes.
The uniform list however was huge, kit for every type of sport and occasion.
I remember wearing some type of uniform 99% of the time.
There were even hideous formal dresses on the uniform list. If you were in the choir ,orchestra or had to represent the school at an evening event , that was what you wore.
They were made of some type of heavy crepe and wouldn't look out of place in an Amish store. Mine had previously belonged to my aunt and had been taken in and up and out and down so many times.
Imagine having to wear that to a county schools debating competition in the 80s where there were boys!

Also by the 6th form you didn't need to go home or out during exeat weekends if you got the head matron's permission. No meals or supervision were provided at all.
We would just get bread, fruit ,milk ,cereal and a toaster.
Sometimes there would be younger international or forces girls entrusted to the 6ths who remained.
It would, I hope never happen today.

All-girls school, early '90s. We didn't have to wear school uniform in sixth form, but were expected to 'dress appropriately', so no jeans or leggings in school hours. The sixth form boarding block was separate to the rest of the school and was a mix of single and double rooms. I was originally down to have a double, but the girl I was supposed to be sharing with wanted to share with someone else, so I got that girl's single, which suited me fine. Empty shampoo and conditioner bottles got rinsed out, lined with freezer bags and filled with vodka.

The sixth form block had a laundry room at the end closest to the drive, you could climb out and walk about a mile to the 24-hour chicken and chips place overnight. One girl told her boyfriend to climb in one night, he got the wrong end of the building and climbed in through the housemistress's bedroom window. She sat up in bed and said, 'Young man, I don't know who you are, but I suggest you leave the way you came very quickly.'

I only boarded for a year, to give me and my parents a break from each other, and didn't enjoy it. The thing that made it bearable was I was very close to the head of music and he got me a duplicate master key cut for the music block, so after the caretaker had done his rounds for the night and locked up, I could let myself back in and sit in the head of music's office, listening to music from the library on his headphones and drinking his hot chocolate.

Habibi our boarders uniform was like that. Every time I see a trailer for A Handmaid's Tale I am reminded of it (same colour).

We had so few references to external culture that we all dressed alike even in mufti. Laura Ashley and DMs. Or a navy blazer, blue Levi’s jeans 501 jeans (the cool London girls bought them secondhand in Covent Garden at Flip), and oxblood loafers. One girl dressed all in black and had a crop, and was therefore “a skinhead”. The Hong Kong and Singapore girls wore Ralph Lauren polo shirts and we were awed by their chic. One year I had a long shopping list for India as literally every girl in my house wanted a whitework blouse.

Regarding a PP’s point about menstruation, we were not allowed Tampax until 6th form! There was an actual decree from the college doctor. We had to use “press on towels” instead and they leaked and were excruciatingly embarrassing to dispose of as they had to go into a dedicated central bin that was positioned outside.

Same smove - Everyone wore a.uniform even when in mufti -
blouses were Liberty & a early Joules type polo things , a chino skirt , brushed cotton jeans type trousers and a navy jumper. Suede desert or brown chukkas. Velvet hairband.
The sort of outfits the queen might wear on a country holiday today

Boarded aged 8-12.We lived overseas and that was going to be our life until my dad became terminally ill He eventually died when I was 11,but I stayed boarding in England while mum sorted out 'stuff' and relocated here herself.
School were nothing but compassionate,( tho not soppy), overall they were great. Not sure I can forgive the cooks for their fried bread,tho. Cut into it, it skittered off your plate and,well, just flew! Usually onto someone's plate 3 places down. No amount of pleading to have it back worked. School of Hard Knocks and Finders Keepers was ours.

I'm still in touch with a friend I made back then. She was one of three daughters at the school and,yes, I'd been warned about the fried bread

Certainly the education was second to none and laid the solid foundation for the rest of my academic life. CE was a breeze and it's amazing what you learn, seemingly by osmosis-bloody miraculous,really!

Anyone else still has a friend they made at this time?

Sorry, mufti. As I went to rellies or schoolfriends for exeats every 3rd w/end,, mufti didnt really apply except for me pleading with my mum for a pair of jodhpurs(thick cord) and a sweater with elbow patches cos I was totally in love with the pony someone at school had. Reward for mucking out every day = a ride for about 1/2 hour a week!. Loved that pony and loved the Pullein Thomson books

@Isatis I was a forces-border and I used to absolutely wail and create every time i had to go back at the start of term. And I'd be up all night fighting with my mum about packing - it was awful for both of us - and to this day the thought of having to pack makes me quite emotional. (and one pp up there has the same recurring nightmare as me: I've packed, someone is shouting at me to leave so I check the draws one last time and they're all full of stuff i need to take. I wake up in a cold sweat)

Occasionally my mum would visit her parents to coincide with half-term, and everyone swears you can still see the claw marks where they had to prize me away from the station pillar and on to the train.

Boarders had to wear white pinnafores at every meal (railway children style) that we made ourselves (complete with tucks to allow for growth) until (I think) the end of 5th form (maybe 4th) day-girls only had to wear them the first 2 years.

Dining Hall duty: each (12 seater) table piled the used crockery in the scullery, and the duty table had to wash, dry and put away all of it. Serving dishes were done by the kitchen staff. It was rank, two tiny little household washing up bowlsf for cups & saucers, then the massive deep sink for everything else - also a sterilizer which all plates & cutlery had to be passed through. An accident waiting to happen.

we got clean sheets once a week, but only one sheet (we had blankets and a candlewick counterpane) - you had to put the used top one to the bottom, and the clean one as the new top sheet. I still have some of the sheets & pillow cases with my name tapes (name and number, and school name).

We had to wash our own-clothes by hand, we used to team up to wash jeans and twist them this way and that over a bath to get the excess water off.

Gosh the flashbacks. Awful in part. Great in part.