Am I lucky? Or just average?

[IdentifyasTired]

I would like some honest/brutal answers to this as it's been bugging me for weeks.

I have a close friend who I see about once a week. We have known each other for years and years but our lives are quite different on a day to day basis. I am a SAHM, she works full time in a professional role she enjoys. We both have children. She has 3. I have 4. Both married. We own our home (small mortgage, 50% equity), they rent (cheap rent for the area).

She lately frequently mentions how lucky I am not to have to worry about childcare, splitting household tasks, juggling work and children, renting etc etc. My DH's income roughly equals their joint income and as a result my friend and I have a fairly equitable amount of household money.
Whenever she mentions how fortunate I am, I try to counter that she too is fortunate to have a career she enjoys and the benefits that brings (international travel etc).

I can't decide if she is being genuine and is happy for me or if her repeated remarks about my good luck are a veiled dig. It feels...pointed. I don't want to come out and ask directly as it may be completely innocent and I would hate to cause trouble between us. Except I have a sinking feeling she is becoming weary of me and my SAHM life.

So, Mumsnet. Truthfully. Am I unusually lucky in life? Or just completely average?
Should I be acknowledging some sort of privilege?

Sorry, that posted twice!

think being lucky is having options in life.

This. Though in your friend’s case I wonder about her financial decision making - you earn (collectively) the same, so I wonder if there was an opportunity pre-DC to buy a house, that they didn’t take.

Perhaps you don’t come across as happy with your own choices and she’s trying to make you feel better about yourself? I don’t think I’ve ever met a solvent professional of either sex with an interesting career who wanted to be a SAHP.

@peanutbutterismydownfall "I feel as though my life depends a lot on other people's goodwill - my boss', my colleagues', my assortment of childcare providers' and the aforementioned friends"

This, a thousand times. My current childminder is lovely but not the most reliable and there have been a few occasions I've needed to rely on the goodwill of friends and boss and colleagues. I can't quite believe I'm still managing to keep the plates in the air. The worry that I can't pull it off again, this time, makes every such occasion much worse.

It's a horrible feeling hoping people won't get sick of you when you feel like you're always demanding their indulgence and needing one more favour that you will not be able to repay in kind. I can't give more hours at work because my family needs me. I can't look after my friend's child at short notice in return, because I'm going to be at work.

Is your friend working in the public sector, OP? There's a lot being asked of us at the moment, and we won't see a corresponding pay increase. Definitely very hard going right now.
I work in the private sector and its no easier here. We've just had our first (and v small) payrise in 10 years!!

I think you're in a privileged position if your husband's earnings equate their joint earnings, yes. It gives you more options.