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Original poster

Horrendous foot in mouth scenarios

99 replies

KatnissMellark · 26/05/2019 18:17

Lovely kind nurse chatting to me prior to my discharge following some gynae surgery as a result of multiple IVF complications: on hearing I've only got one DC 'oh that's lucky, having two is a nightmare...blah blah blah', me 'not really lucky, that's why I'm here.. we've had seven IVFs, two miscarriages and a lost twin and I've just been operated on to sort some complications'. Felt a bit bad correcting her but she did know I'd just had pelvic surgery by a consultant specialising in infertility Hmm it doesn't really phase me after so many years of dealing with comments like this- people are really just making conversation/trying to 'help'/slightly misguided but I think this one was the worst (because of the context!). I wasn't upset but she was pretty mortified I think.

Anyone got any corkers?

OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 27/05/2019 09:51

During school holidays I had a job in a interior design shop.
One lovely regular browsing customer asked to borrow some of those big wallpapers books to take home. Usual procedure was to ask for a cash deposit, or a credit card imprint (showing my age...)
She asked what we wanted as a deposit, and for the first time ever I said "oh whatever is convenient, cash, credit card swipe, spare kidney...."
She replied (thankfully laughing) "I better not do that since I've only got one kidney"

What makes it worse is that months later I stupidly used the same "spare kidney" line to the SAME WOMAN

lurkingfromhome · 27/05/2019 10:00

Friend has got two young cats from a rescue home.

Friend: "Their original names they had were completely terrible, so we're changing them".

Me: "Oh, what are they called?"

Friend: "[A] and [B]" (names disguised for anonymity here)

Me: "Oh God yes, those are truly godawful names. What were the old owners thinking?"

Friend: "No, those are the NEW names that we've just picked."

Awks.

Smolo · 27/05/2019 10:13

I tried for five years to get pregnant but sadly it was ectopic and my tube ruptured. It was touch and go, I was resuscitated in theatre and received multiple blood transfusions. I was in hospital for a week. The day before I was discharged one of the nurses asked me if I was going to have a party! She told me that I was so lucky to be alive that I should have a big party to celebrate! It really upset me as at that point things looked pretty hopeless and I thought I would never be able to have children. Happily I have since gone on to have two children but I will never forget how insensitive she was!

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AndOutComeTheBoobs · 27/05/2019 10:43

I worked with a guy who was really inappropriate and slimy around women.
I was in my 20's but many of the women working there were 17-18 and this guy used to be generally slimy and pervy round them. It was fucking horrible.

One day I worked with a really nice woman who didn't work in one particular shop but floated around several when they were short staffed.

We were talking about members of staff and how nice they were and we got onto this man. I said he was a horrible slimy perv (yeah really professional of me 😳). And she said "Oh." In a kind of deadpan way.

I walked away and the penny dropped. She had mentioned the day before that her son worked for the company.

I'd slagged off her bloody son.

Fuck sake.

Pinotjo · 27/05/2019 10:45

At a wedding I said I felt sorry for Saddam Hussein just before they hung him, said it in front of guests from Iraq who had fled from Saddam's regime Shock

formerbabe · 27/05/2019 10:45

Chatting to a friend about names we dislike...I pipe up with "oh, I can't stand the name xxxxxxx, it sounds really common". As soon as the words came out of my mouth I remembered it was her mum's name. Blush

wonkylegs · 27/05/2019 11:32

My aunt put off learning to drive, used taxis, public transport and my uncle drove. Then my uncle died suddenly, he was young, unexpected and terribly tragic. My aunt decided a year after his death that she needed to learn to drive, she had lessons with a lovely sympathetic instructor and although it took a while she was finally ready to take her test. She was very nervous but all was going well until the tester turned to her and said "right WonkylegsAunt, lets do this last bit and you can go home and tell your husband how well his wife has done" she was still grief stricken and so stopped the car in the middle of the test, got out and didn't return for another 10yrs.

Sarahlou63 · 27/05/2019 21:10

Oh, just remembered another. At a wedding in the '90's I dropped a vol au vent upside down on a woman's shoe (colleague's GF). Looked down and said "never mind, they're cheap shoes." OMFG! I was very pissed at the time but still mortified 25 years later.

Nameisthegame · 29/05/2019 20:14

I was working in disabled camping at woman checking I’d for those at the campsite guy comes in carrying lots of umbrellas under one arm late at night I ask to see his I’d he drops all the umbrellas onto the floor trying to show the lanyard round his neck....it was only then that ?I noticed he only had one arm and leg 🤦‍♀️ He was badly burnt on half his body...felt terrible as we both squished in the mud picking up the umbrellas

Nameisthegame · 29/05/2019 20:14

Woman is meant to be Womad

Bezalelle · 29/05/2019 21:43

I never believe the "I said 'do you need a hand?' to a person with no arm" schtick.

sirmione16 · 29/05/2019 22:24

Can't be just me who's addressed a group of people with "hi ladies!" Or "hi gents" then with a closer look realised they aren't all of the same assumes sex. I work in a restaurant and often just glide on past and introduce the specials but there must be a moment of "oh fuck.." on my face.

mrscatmad31 · 29/05/2019 22:50

My MIL was discussing names with me when I was pregnant with my DD, she said the only name she really hated was xxxxxx, she went on at length about it before I reminded her it was my DM name (who is dead) and also my middle name...

JaneGlorianaVillanueva · 29/05/2019 22:55

When I was at uni some over enthusiastic person came in to do a guest lecture.

He had us all stand up to demonstrate something he was talking about, after a second he turned to this girl in the front row and said "come on! Why arent you standing up I said everyone needs to get up!"

She was in a wheel chair.

It was horrific and you could see the shame and colour rise up through his whole body from the back of the lecture hall

FurrySlipperBoots · 30/05/2019 01:19

@AndOutComeTheBoobs

Out of interest, was there a sudden improvement in his behaviour?

JollyHolly30 · 30/05/2019 02:33

Great idea for a thread. I'm cringing for some of you in these replies!

Beegin · 30/05/2019 02:51

Before I had DD and after trying for years without success I had been told I couldn't have children at all. I also had large tumours on my ovary and some lovely woman randomly approached me in McDonalds, commented about my stomach and before I could say anything patted it and went on a twenty minute conversation about babies and sleepless nights and her children and when I was due.
I didn't know whether to tell her or not.

Not having learned from this years later when I unexpectedly got pregnant, due to massive complications I was taken for surgery at 20 weeks. So that I was away from other pregnant ladies due to the circumstances and a high chance of baby loss I was placed on the women's health care ward instead.
I'd been talking to the patient in the next beds husband who had told me she was pregnant too. I made some comment to her later in the day along the lines of hoping things worked out for both of us and hopefully all this worry would be worth it.
The husband hadn't told me she was in because the baby was ectopic and she had no chance of the baby being born and had been told the surgery might mean she wouldn't get pregnant again.

flapjackfairy · 30/05/2019 03:40

My late mil was lovely but one Xmas she gave me a truly awful money box that was a completely hideous brown lump of pottery. Anyway smiled and thanked her etc.
She worked for a major pottery company and the money box was from the same pottery.
Next Christmas we were talking about Christmas shopping and she said " Last year the company I worked for had an offer to buy a box of bits and bobs as a lucky dip. But I won't be doing that again as most of it was rubbish and the worst of all was a hideous brown money box. "
I couldnt stop laughing but she was mortified when she remembered she had given it to me.

Deathraystare · 30/05/2019 08:05

: "I don't get the Daenerys Targaryan thing, that woman is way to chubby to be attractive ...

Not the most offensive thing said on here but as a chubster I picked up on this - Daenerys - too chubby??? Seriously????!!!!

Cheekychop84 · 30/05/2019 10:32

My son wears a hearing aid, and we had nipped to sainsbury's to get a couple of treats. The security guy smiled and said hi to all of us and noticed he had a cochlear implant. As we were walking around the shop he came and found us to tell our son how cool his hearing aid looked (its very bright and cheerful, just like our son) and he also taked to my husband and I about hearing loss
Lovely security man : just in case no one's told you, the hearing loss can get worse over time
Me: yes, I've heard that can happen

A month or so later i still feel awful, i hadn't even realised what I said till i was out of the shop. I felt awful in case id offended him but we carried on chatting for a while after that and he didn't react so hopefully he took no offence to me and my thoughtlessness. Im usually a nice person =/

Foslady · 30/05/2019 10:49

Announcing my pregnancy at 12 weeks, colleague said she’d guessed so I laughed and said I thought so but wanted to get to 12 weeks and over the risky bit for her to say how wasn’t necessarily the case as she lost a baby at 14 weeks.
Don’t know which of us felt worse.

A different colleague who used to have the same birthday as me always used to go in early every year and book out her holidays and every time booked our birthday off (also around a bank holiday). Justified it one year as since my husband had walked out (a few weeks earlier) I wouldn’t be doing anything would I?

Scion457 · 30/05/2019 11:30

Lovely FIL works on a farm and often pops in after work, its a dairy farm and he’ll be the first to admit he stinks after work. That cow manure smell that really lingers. Anyway, he popped in one day and I said ‘phew you’ve had a long day in work’ (making a ‘you stink’ face, wafting my hand infront of my nose’. Nope it was his day off. Absolutely mortified! He did stink of cows though, it must have transferred onto him from the car or something. Lesson in tact learned though.

Guardsman18 · 30/05/2019 11:40

Scion that made me chuckle! Poor you!

DM is lovely, I swear but not the most tactful person. In a play park when my dc's were young, few other mums there and DM said - Bloody hell you wouldn't want that falling on one of your kids would you! Yes, it was the other mum's son!

Deciding what to wear to a family funeral, DM again, says - Oh just wear that thing you wore to DF's funeral. It'll do. I had made a big effort with a new silk top etc. Thanks Mum!

Beegin · 30/05/2019 12:00

Scion457 We had a friend who worked on a maggot farm of some kind . He was utterly lovely but I couldn't stand the smell even on his day off. It just lingered.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 30/05/2019 12:18

It's not the worst one ever but I still don't know why I said this, it's so inane.

Someone showed me their new watch and I said "wow, it's lovely, was it cheap?"

They said no, it was actually quite expensive.

Instead of just saying nothing, I replied "no it's just you can get that exact watch in Primark for a fiver so I thought that was it."

Fucking stupid haha.