Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Reaching the end of my wits. How long before your DC was dry during the night?

57 replies

Whackitupto200 · 22/05/2019 21:40

DD has been toilet trained during the day since she was about 2 and a half, but she is now 5 and a half and is still not dry during the night. Every morning she wakes up with a massive wet nappy and I have to wash her down before she gets dressed for school. Mornings are so rushed as it is and I'm really starting to get fucked off with the daily clean up. If I don't wash he thoroughly she's very smelly by the end of the day Blush

I know it's not her fault and I never ever say or show anything negative about it to her. The last thing I want is for her to feel embarrassed or ashamed the poor love.

But I won't lie, I cannot wait for her to be dry in the night. And I don't have any idea of how soon that will be. I've read the ERIC website and other advice suggests that it's within the range of normal and not to see GP or anything until they're about 7 years old. But then I read something else that said if they're still wetting at 5 years old then it's time to get professional help.

If I just need to leave it then I'll leave it, but if there's something I could/ought to be doing that could help her, I'd really like to know what it is!

OP posts:
Pipnik · 22/05/2019 22:13

Be careful what you wish for. DD was 5 and sleeping through at night before she stopped wearing nappies. Once out of them she woke up every night to go to the toilet and needed someone with her because she was afraid of the dark. She was 7.5 before she slept through again. Confused

Caroian · 22/05/2019 22:14

My seven an a half year old is not dry at night. We've tried everything including an alarm and desmopressin. Unfortunately even desmopressin had no effect - so don't assume that will be an instant cure. For some children it works and after three months helps them reset and they become dry. For others it works only when they take it. For a minority it does not work at all.

If you seek help one of the first things you're likely to be asked to try (after excluding constipation and ensuring fluid intake is adequate etc) is ditching the pull ups for a period. Some children are unconsciously aware that they are wearing them and simply going to bed without for a period of a couple of weeks can be enough to change the pattern.

BuntyCollocks · 22/05/2019 22:15

We saw the school nurse at 5 and a bit as DS was the same as your DD - huge wet nappies and no signs of dry nights, whilst his sister was dry day and night at 2. We tried desmospressin which had limited effect, and they then gave us a buzzer - it is VERY loud - woke the whole house. But - he was dry in a week. We still limit his black currant juice intake. Depressingly, DD now has occasional accidents 😩😂

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families Potty training
SallyWD · 22/05/2019 22:23

My son's 6.5 and still in nappies at night (which are often very wet in the morning). I know 2 children aged 8 who are still wet at night. It's much more common than you'd think. As soon as I heard it was a hormone issue I stopped worrying.

itsabongthing · 22/05/2019 22:25

It’s considered normal until 7. After that I think you can usually get a referral to the enuresis clinic but he advice is pretty much there on the Eric website - drinking enough in the day, bed wetting alarms etc.

My nearly 8 yr old has just about got dry - she was still wearing pull ups (small bum so fitted in size 6 toddler ones which are much cheaper than special Pjama pants!) and they just started to still be dry in the morning.

Dd1 took until 9 or even 10 and she stopped wearing pull ups about 4 as I thought that might help (it didn’t) and then she refused to wear them again so I had many years of wet sheets, extra washing etc and it is tedious and can be hard to conceal your annoyance about it although I knew that was very important to not show it as it wasn’t her fault.
It helped to build up layers on the bed that she could quickly take off herself in the night and I left put a spare pair of bottoms.
It also helped getting a special duvet which was waterproof (but actually not too crunchy) as the duvet used to get soaked through and smelly and it wasn’t easy to wash.
She will get there but I would get her in some pyjama pants or pull ups if you can.

Ciwirocks · 22/05/2019 22:29

I have used the school nurse for this type of issue only my ds was wet in the day as well. She was really helpful and gave all the first line advice and ended up referring us to community continence. He has just been seen by urology now and he is 7

Ciwirocks · 22/05/2019 22:30

Oh and school should be able to give you the number of the school nurse. It was on a poster in our school

Hadenoughofitall441 · 22/05/2019 22:38

Dd is 6 and started off amazingly at 2 1/2 then went backwards after 3 months. Gonna try her properly in the summer when she drinks more, if not a trip to the drs it will be.

applesarerroundandshiny · 22/05/2019 22:39

DS was 7 - and my understanding is that school nurse / enuresis clinic won't support until they are around that age.

I actually joined Mumsnet all those years ago for advice on this topic so I do sympathise.

Advice we got from clinic was to drink more during day, less in evening, to consider what he was actually drinking e.g. Orange squash rather than dark coloured or fizzy which can irritate. Also had to measure urine in a jug - can't remember why though. And we got the wee alarm.

I'm not sure though whether these things together worked or if he simply reached the maturity to stop wetting.

Hadenoughofitall441 · 22/05/2019 22:41

DS who is autistic was the same, started off well then all of a sudden started wetting, he’s 11 and we have tablets but it’s hit and miss, sometimes dry, sometimes not 😖

ShatFic · 22/05/2019 22:41

I think the alarm has a volume control and possibly just a vibrate option. My son was scared of the idea so I actually had to sleep with him during the first few weeks so I was there with him if it went off. Annoying, but not as knackering as changing the sheets every single night.

ponygirlcurtis · 22/05/2019 22:41

My DS2 was 7, and in nightime pullups till then. He got it when he got it.

PatriciaHolm · 22/05/2019 22:50

DS was 10 I'm afraid, and even then it needed the alarm (desmopressin didn't work for hI'm).

The Drs told us there were three issues that could be the problem -

  • sleeping too deeply to be awoken by the need to go
  • the relevant hormone that tells you to go not working
  • having a small bladder that required emptying frequently

DS had all three apparently, which is why the desmo on its own didn't work. He needed to actually drink more to stretch the bladder, as well as the alarm to get him up.

Original poster
Whackitupto200 · 22/05/2019 22:50

It if I get the alarm I still have to change PJs and sheets and make up new bed every day don’t i?

I honestly don’t think I can do that. I work full time and DH is out of the house 7.30-7.30 so I do all the drop offs, pick ups and homework, dinner, bath, bed routine on my own every night. I think having to sort out new bedding every day would tip me over the edge!

OP posts:
Tweedledumanddumber · 22/05/2019 22:59

Both mine were 7 when they were dry at night. With DD we used a bedwetting alarm and it worked within a few weeks. The alarm didnt work for DS as he slept so deeply he didnt hear it! just disturbed everyone except him

Mabelface · 22/05/2019 23:04

My boys were around 3.my daughter, however, was around 8. I was actually 14. I so wish pull ups and pyjama pants had been available when I was a kid.

Summergarden · 22/05/2019 23:05

My DD who was toilet trained at age 2.5 was very similar and I was starting to worry at a similar age to what your DD is now.

But a couple of months after turning 6 her pull ups were suddenly almost always dry in the mornings so we ditched them. She never had an accident after that.

Try not to worry, hopefully it will happen soon for your DD too. I felt like she would never get there but it changed very suddenly.

FiremanKing · 22/05/2019 23:06

I never had a wet bed with either of mine as I lifted them after around 11.30pm and got them to go to the toilet.

After a short while they naturally would wake if need be and go to the toilet or call for me.

I was on my own with them and just made sure that the bathroom light was kept on overnight until they grew out of needing to wake and go to the toilet.

TheBigFatMermaid · 22/05/2019 23:11

My DS was not dry until nearly 12.

We did get the school nurse to advise us (get the school to get them to get in touch with you) and she said to not let him drink fizzy drinks, nothing red (blackcurrant, summer fruits) as it irritates the bladder. We had to make him drink more (bloody hard work) as not drinking enough causes the urine to be concentrated and irritates the bladder.

We had the buzzy alarm, but he slept through it and the rest of us woke... we even tried desmopressin, the hormone they need to be able to be dry at night, in tablet form, but even that was not reliable.

Really, we learnt to be chilled about it. We left him in night time pull ups. He was less stressed than he would have been otherwise. It takes two minutes to stick them in the shower and wash them off. It's not long really.

Now he is nearly 13 and has been dry for a while, we can relax and look back on it all calmly. I still say just relax, deal with it in a matter of fact way, but do ask for help from the school nurse. What didn't work for us, may well work for you.

bliminy · 22/05/2019 23:14

In terms of bedding, we made up the bed with waterproof layer, sheet, waterproof layer, sheet. Then when they wet the bed we just stripped the top two layers. We had a couple of cheap easily-washable duvets that we could wash and dry quickly with the sheets, so if one was wet we'd just give them another. It wasn't much fun but it made for less work in the middle of the night and much less frustration.

thaegumathteth · 22/05/2019 23:16

Dd was dry day and night bar the odd accident from 2.5. Ds, all the same process etc was dry at 2 during the day but not until 7 overnight. When he did start being dry overnight it was literally like a switch being flipped - one night wet as usual then the next night and every night since, dry.

The only advice I can give is that it’s normal tbh - avoid black currant, make sure they’re drinking loads in the day but not much in the hours before bed. Mainly though accept it’s a normal stage and it’s a physical rather than behavioural thing.

LittleCandle · 22/05/2019 23:16

DD1 was only dry at night when she left home at 17. She did have other bladder issues that didn't help and the lack of interest from the doctors until it was too late to give her help was piss offing as well. It can be just one of those things. The only person the alarm woke was me. She couldn't have desmopressin because of the ingredients and her allergies. (Both my DC would have let anyone smother them without fighting back when they were kids.)

XH used to get angry and shout at DD1 if she was wet at night, which didn't help either. It is intensely frustrating, but I'm afraid that sometimes you just have to get on with it. Layers of sheets on the bed for easy changing. I do feel for you.

MyThirdBestWig · 22/05/2019 23:27

No harm in talking to the school nurse. They will prob advise the sort of stuff you've probably already read on the Eric website - seriously loads to drink during the day, stopping well before bedtime, dark bedroom to encourage production of melatonin, avoid blackcurrant & fizzy drinks, double voiding before bed. They can also refer to enuresis clinic. 5.5 is quite young for that though I wouldn't necessarily wait until the 7th birthday.

Until you get some sign of dryness, keeping her in pull-ups makes sense.

For sleepovers Eric has some ideas, Eg stashing the pullup in the bottom of the sleeping bag, and having a bottle of water nearby so any wetness can be blamed on spilled water.

UserX · 23/05/2019 09:17

My dd2 was 7 before she was reliable. It’s not something they have control over.

Personally I wouldn’t be spending any time with a child who had mocked her for something that’s not her fault.

SmarmyMrMime · 23/05/2019 09:31

My 6yo has recently gone dry so it was at some point around his birthday. Ironically he instigated toilet training himself before 2.5 whereas his sibling had a harder time training by day, but was dry at night before 4.

It is frustrating when you have a child whose development over "simple" things seems delayed for no apparent reason, but it is easier if you are patient and adapt it into routines. Either it will fall into place with time or a reason will become apparent with time. Accept you need a few extra minutes for a quick body shower to freshen up, and layer the sheets for quick changes. It doesn't solve the problem, but it reduces frustration.