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Original poster

What's your deal breaker?

29 replies

AnybodysDude · 20/05/2019 16:44

NC because I do every so often but long term poster.

Just for fun, really. When it comes to flirtations or dating (so pre-relationship), what is your deal breaker?

I have something of a crush on a man I'm friendly with and we are both single adults so there's nothing stopping it from going anywhere. However, he went to school with my mum Blush he was two years below her so he isn't quite her age, and she was a young mum, and I'm sure there are plenty of relationships with similar or larger age gaps that work very well, but I just cant bring myself to act on it knowing that he literally went to school with my own mother.

The funny thing is that I dont think I'd bat an eyelid at the age gap (15 years) if it was any other man, just not someone my mum would be able to tell me about playground antics.

Also it's entirely likely that he's not seduced by the scruffy 30 year old single mum vibe I'm giving off Grin

Anyone care to make me feel better about my doomed crushes by sharing some of their own?

OP posts:
MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 21/05/2019 17:15

Awful dancing. Don't mind if they don't dance at all. Just can't bear terrible dancing. I once dumped someone for it (not on the dancefloor - I waited until later).

Give your Ma's playground mucker a go though, OP! He might be brilliant at hula hooping or something (check with your mum! Wink)

BenWillbondsPants · 21/05/2019 17:38

Terrible shoes. I know it's shallow but I could never get past terrible shoes.

Bad breath.
Someone who makes a fool of someone else. I once really liked a chap who took great delight in humiliating the waitress in a restaurant for making a very slight mistake with our order. He literally loved making her cry. I was horrified and dumped him on the spot and told him exactly why.

Someone who doesn't like animals. We have loads and they're a bit part of our lives as a family. Luckily DH is animal mad too.

Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2019 17:44

Smoking.
Noisy eating.
Doesn't like cats.

I agree with Hebe though, give him a go!

Interested in this thread?

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Dating General relationships
PhyllisPearce · 21/05/2019 17:50

Any man who wears dungarees as a fashion statement - nuff said 😆

twitterbird · 21/05/2019 17:52

Anyone who doesn't like animals.

Baskerville · 21/05/2019 17:59

Anyone who doesn't read, gym bunnies, the religious, social media addicts, Tory voters, gamers, men who wear fleece or jeans so skinny it causes them buttock pain to shove their phone into their back pocket, Daily Mail readers.

breakfastpizza · 21/05/2019 18:12

Poor/lazy hygiene.
Grumpy all the time.
Doesn't 100% support feminism and sex-based rights for women.
Chews with his mouth open!!!

Gertie75 · 21/05/2019 18:20

Bad teeth, moody, religious, football fanatic, puts "the lads" first or even uses the term "the lads", unemployed by choice.

BadLad · 22/05/2019 05:19

Being vegetarian
Smoking
Voting Labour
Not showering daily
Being overweight

SecretWitch · 22/05/2019 05:35

Doesn’t like animals ( or animals don’t like him)
Poor manners
Thin
Extrovert

Namechangeymcnamechange11 · 22/05/2019 05:59

Being shorter than me Blush shallow, I know.
Poor hygiene and bad breath.
Unemployed by choice.
Treats anyone else as being lesser than him. No time for rudeness.

Wincarnis · 22/05/2019 06:00

Doesn’t like animals
A bully
Boorish ‘laddish’ behaviour
Comparing me with his mother
Horrible shoes (eg moccasins)
Immature in bed (silly giggling, baby names for body parts)
Impatient driving
Bad manners
Ha, I more or less described my ex Grin

Whoops75 · 22/05/2019 06:06

Cycles (hobby)
Long hair
Doesn’t like animals
Teetotaler

You could always just shag him
No need for chats really Grin

MWNA · 22/05/2019 06:48

Smoker
Drugs (including alcohol)
Mean in any way

Just those.

Kiwiinkits · 22/05/2019 07:14

There are too many things I’m put off by to list. But some are,

  • tattoos or piercings of any type
  • frosted or gelled hair
  • low ambition / low energy / never left his hometown / never travelled
  • his passion is football or some other inane lad sport
  • cheap shiny clothing
  • doesn’t follow politics / world events

I could go on all day. The only person more picky about who their partner is than me, is my husband Wink

Mac47 · 22/05/2019 07:20

Soooo many. To name a few:
Bad teeth, bad nails, mean with money, dog owner, lazy, bad eater, bad kisser....

Add in the usual racist, misogynistic, homophobic etc and I leave myself a teeny pool.

Original poster
AnybodysDude · 22/05/2019 07:58

You could always just shag him
No need for chats really

Haha I love this, and the "give him a go" comments. Its just so AWKWARD though isn't it! He's actually quite shy so I'm not sure how I'd go about giving him a go Wink

OP posts:
NecklessMumster · 22/05/2019 08:04

If he wasTory, religious, or racist. Or didn't like children. Or selfish in bed. Or didn't smell right. My friend once dumped someone 'because he looked funny in shorts' and another because 'his hair doesn't move when he shakes his head' (curly/helmet -y hair) Grin

VictoriaBun · 22/05/2019 08:09

Wears a fleece
Always in need of a haircut
Doesn't do housework
Is loud in a group
Oops that is my dh

Original poster
AnybodysDude · 22/05/2019 08:19

Neckless they are hilarious!!

I dont like skinny arms. Something so very off-putting about a many with skinny arms. Luckily my mum's mate has just the right amount of muscle mass for my liking Grin

OP posts:
Adversecamber22 · 22/05/2019 08:55

My list is so long it would take too long to type out, many of the above and many more. I like men as friends and have many as I worked for some years in a male dominated environment think 90% men but as actual lovers/partners most are barely tolerable. I saw a man recently who if I was single I would contemplate dating, I realised the last time that happened was at least a couple of years ago.

FiremanKing · 22/05/2019 09:06

It’s a no if he’s
Left wing.
Is overweight or unfit.
Doesn’t have a good sense of humour.
Religious.
Doesn’t like animals.
Is shorter than me or just short.
Watches Soaps or reality tv.
Doesn’t like modern art.
Admits to having cheated in a previous relationship.
Is obsessed with a sports team.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 22/05/2019 09:07

Doesn't like animals - dogs in particular, or doesn't make an effort with my DDog.

Significant religious belief (by all means celebrate your family's religious celebrations, but not the sort of person who thinks I'm a lesser person for being an atheist)

Committed Leave voter, or Tory / UKIP / Brexit Party voter

Won't tidy up after himself or is generally not house trained

Values people differently based on how much money they have or don't have.

Someone who is unnecessarily rude to waitresses and shop assistants.

FiremanKing · 22/05/2019 09:10

I’ve just remembered an old friend had the hump on a first date because he arrived with his sleeves rolled up! She never saw him again.

Another time she was due to meet someone on a blind date she drove past to get a look and he was carrying a large golf umbrella despite it being hot sunshine so she carries on driving and made up some excuse as to why she couldn’t meet him!

RaptorWhiskers · 22/05/2019 09:21

Before I became a mum, if a man had kids it was a total deal breaker. I didn’t want the hassle of them getting in the way and having to look after them. Now I’m a mum myself I’d be a bit more flexible but would still draw the line at him having one child. That’s two between us, which is more than enough.