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Original poster

What age did you stop shadowing DCs in soft play areas?

29 replies

TwittleBee · 17/05/2019 14:50

Sitting in one atm and DS (22 months) appears to be the only one of his age without an adult shadowing them and it's now making me question if I'm being irresponsible.

OP posts:
BeesKneesAreBetterThanMine · 17/05/2019 14:51

DS about 4 - big for his age and clumsy (since diagnosed with dyspraxia)
DD about 18 months - agile as a flea

Pipandmum · 17/05/2019 14:52

I never did shadow them. If they were old enough to be there they were old enough to play without me.

rosedream · 17/05/2019 14:52

If you can see him , he's safe and not hurting another child then it's fine.
You're letting him explore , be independent and learn. He knows he can go out from you and return when he needs to.

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Settlersofcatan · 17/05/2019 14:59

I still shadow my 2.5 year old mostly (unless it's an area I can supervise him without going into) - not because he can't manage physically but because other kids often push him or similar and their parents aren't paying attention or don't care so I intervene to stop him being upset. Of course, if he does anything to another kid, I intervene too but he doesn't very often.

WeAreAllAdults · 17/05/2019 15:02

My DS is 25 months and I keep him in my line of sight. I'm always in the soft play area with him but I might be on the level below him as he explores above, for example. I'm always ready to bolt to where he is though in case he starts to hurt other children or they start to hurt him.

kaytee87 · 17/05/2019 15:02

Depends on the Softplay, the amount of other kids and how old they are.

TeenTimesTwo · 17/05/2019 15:03

At the point she could both articulate if something was wrong and could come and find me. As she was delayed in speech and motor skills and small, this was more like 3.5-4. But not really in the equipment, more walking around the edge, keeping an eye.

Kapeka · 17/05/2019 15:04

Still shadow my 3 year old sometimes. It depends. Sometimes she won't go in to play unless I come and play too - she is an only child and not overly social with other children so she would just be playing alone, so Info down the slides with her etc. Other times I get to sit for a while as she plays, until she comes to find me!

heyd · 17/05/2019 15:06

18 months and absolutely still shadow now, would not feel comfortable with her out of eye sight (and ideally reach) at all though.
I think I'm probably a bit over cautious, but equally it really annoys me when kids that still need adult supervision are chucked in there alone.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 17/05/2019 15:07

Mines nearly 3 and we just let him be for the most part. I shadow more on a weekend or during the holidays becasue bigger kids can be boisterous but otherwise I leave him to it.

because other kids often push him or similar and their parents aren't paying attention or don't care so I intervene to stop him being upset. Of course, if he does anything to another kid, I intervene too but he doesn't very often.

I don't think you're doing your child any favours with this. Conflict resolution is a skill all children need to learn. Obviously intervene if someone is being particularly boisterous or getting upset but you'd be surprised at how much even young children can resolve issues on their own. My ds was pushed over by a boy this morning at soft play, he stood up and said no to him and just carried on playing, the boy stopped for a bit then went to play with him, if I'd intervened I think it would have made it worse.

Hollowvictory · 17/05/2019 15:10

4?

Doje · 17/05/2019 15:11

I it depends on your DS. At that age, DS1 would have been fine as he wouldn't have bothered other kids. DS2 was a bit more bolshy so I had to watch him a bit more.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 17/05/2019 15:12

2 and a bit, mostly because he's fearless and was clearly a mountain goat in a previous life. Sometimes he likes "showing" us how it's done and then moaning that we're too slow but mostly he just runs off the second we enter and has since he was 2.

Dc2 is 11 months and showing signs of coming from the same feral mould so I imagine about the same age for her too.

Emmabryant123 · 17/05/2019 15:18

My dd is 3 and a bit
I watch her from a distance but don't get on the equipment with her anymore

Original poster
TwittleBee · 17/05/2019 15:20

He's made friends with a girl a bit older than him and i can see them both playing brilliantly together. There are places where he will be out of my site but he's very loud and I do go in if I hear him calling for me, usually he just doesn't remember how to get to a slide he likes.

He can't actually talk yet but he is very sociable and is an amazing climber (always been excellent with his motor skills).

I'm probably over thinking this as I'm pregnant and certainly emotional today (already cried a few times). Happily let DS play at the park whilst I sit on the bench with a flask of coffee/tea/hot chocolate from the age of 15 months

OP posts:
Ellieboolou27 · 17/05/2019 15:30

My first I helicoptered until about 3.5, 2nd 20-24 months I think, although ones I go to are fairly small.

User8888888 · 17/05/2019 15:49

22m is tiny so I would be shadowing like you. At that age mine often needed a leg up as well despite being tall and wanted me around. My nesrly 3 year old goes and explores our local soft play on her own and has developed more independence over the course of the last year. There are other soft plays near us where I think she’d need an adult with her for at least another year. I have no desire to go to those as I like sitting with my coffee in peace!

LoafofSellotape · 17/05/2019 15:52

About 18months but being very aware of where he was.

WindsweptEgret · 17/05/2019 16:03

About 18 months, but kept close track of where he was at 2 when he started going in the 3+ area instead of the baby area. He was physically very able and confident, but still a 2 year old.

Sockwomble · 17/05/2019 16:14

I was never able to let mine go on, on his own so 9 when he stopped going.

Original poster
TwittleBee · 17/05/2019 16:29

That's a good point about the suggested age groups WindsweptEgret and not really something I'd considered. I've just had a look at the suggested ages on the different areas and I've been happily letting him go into the 4+ areas. It is a Friday though and very quiet here, don't think I'd come here when it would be busy and full of older children but I probably wouldn't want him to get in the way of the older children.

OP posts:
Dandelion1993 · 17/05/2019 16:35

About 18months. Our local one had a smaller children's section which she was capable of doing alone. I would sit at a table right next to it and watch but let her get in with it.

meepmoop · 17/05/2019 16:38

I still shadow DS 22months as he is a hair puller so will attack of kids get to close and bump him.
If there's no one in the bit he's in I let him get on with it
As soon as he stops this I will let him go freely.

federationrep · 17/05/2019 19:52

I probably got more relaxed with each dc. So DD1 would probably be about 3. Then when she was about 6 I remember asking her to play with DS (just turned 2) to let me have a coffee and she pointed to a sign and said "that sign says this is a PARENT supervised centre) so I guess he was 2. Not soft play but toddler group with DD2, I was the only one in our friendship group to have a 3rd, it was a bit like starting again in terms of rejoining groups & activities, she must've been about 15months when a pfb mum came over all worried "Federation your dd is at the top of the slide" and couldn't understand why I simply said "oh so she is"

wendz86 · 17/05/2019 20:59

Eldest 3 as I was pregnant and couldn't follow her round. Youngest around 2 as she just went with her sister.