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Original poster

I want to go out for a walk

26 replies

blameitonmyjuice · 15/05/2019 14:52

It’s a gorgeous hot sunny day here and my mum’s gone out for a walk . I’m sat at home bloody crying because I’m agoraphobic and can’t seem to get myself out for longer than 5 or 10 minutes . I’m desperate to get out and be normal and enjoy things but when I think of doing that I can think of a thousand reasons why not - I might faint , or otherwise fall ill is the main one even though I’ve no real reason for that . How can I beat this ? I’m supposed to be getting a train 125 miles in three weeks , and making at least one change on the way !! I’m on anti depressants etc ... no difference so far .

OP posts:

user1483387154 · 15/05/2019 14:53

Do you have a garden you can sit in for a while? Small steps and all that

NoSauce · 15/05/2019 14:55

Could you sit outside for a bit? Or maybe just walk to the end of the street and back?

Original poster

blameitonmyjuice · 15/05/2019 14:57

I’ve managed to the end of next doors garden , they’re building houses behind and went to see what they’re doing . Now standing in front gate . I hate that this is how things have become , I get so frustrated that I’m anxious

OP posts:

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 15/05/2019 14:58

Can you stand at your front door, or in the front garden/on the path?
Just for a minute or two?

Then maybe make it to a lamppost or across the road?

Kez200 · 15/05/2019 14:59

So, the fear is you will fall ill - need to work on that fear, as you are extremely unlikely to do so. Did it happen to you once? Is that why you fear it again?

NoSauce · 15/05/2019 15:00

How long have you felt like this? How long have you been on ADs? Well done for getting out to next doors garden, that’s a start!

TwinsTrollsandHunz · 15/05/2019 15:01

Have you had any treatment other than medication for this? CBT perhaps?

TwistedBiscuit · 15/05/2019 15:01

Obvious question: have you spoken to your GP/ are you getting treatment?

CBT worked wonders for me to get to the bottom of why my brain was tying itself up in knots.

Kpo58 · 15/05/2019 15:04

Have you thought about playing Pokémon Go?

Download it and see if you have a pokestop near by and see if you can try to aim to talk to it. Once you have been able to do that, you can slowly build it up by trying to reach another one close by.

It might make it easier to have a very local goal of where you want to reach (is a nearby lamppost) rather than something vague, like walk 5 mins somewhere in a random direction.

billybagpuss · 15/05/2019 15:07

I have been doing the 1000 mile walking challenge by country walking. There is a FB page, the challenge is as little or as much as you want to set yourself but the idea to walk a little each day. There was a lady on the site with similar issues to you and she set her challenge to do a little further each day. The first day was like you getting to her neighbours front gate. By the end of the week she'd made it to the end of the road.

It's little steps at a time - good luck and check out the FB page people are really supportive.

FiremanKing · 15/05/2019 15:09

Part of the distress of having a phobia is beating yourself up over it and feeling angry at yourself.

There is evidence to suggest that people are born with a pre disposition to having a phobia. So accept that you have it and that you didn’t do anything to bring it upon yourself.

I have had lots of different treatment for my phobia (arachnophobia) and all have failed. It got to the point where I didn’t want to go out in case I saw one on the pavement as I would have a meltdown and feel so embarrassed as well as being terrified.

So I looked into ways of coping with the panic that sets in when I see a spider and whilst I still have the phobia I am not having a screaming fit and can act more calmly.

Being aware of my breathing and counting my breaths is very useful as I feel more in control if I am breathing deeply and slowly.

Google tips for panic attack’s as basically it’s your reaction to what makes you feel frightened that can be brought under control even in the presence of what is scaring you.

I hope that makes sense.

shumway · 15/05/2019 15:10

Are there any self-help books on Amazon you could get?

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/05/2019 15:17

It's shitty isn't it. I'm fortunate that mine is flying. Honestly, I have to deal with it once I'm there and don't have the option to go back.

The problem is that you're trapped in a circle of feeling scared, going back, feeling better. So your brain is feeling relief at coming back home rather than relief at having made it further or longer out. DIY exposure therapy might help a bit.

bodiddly · 15/05/2019 15:20

Hi, I help people with phobias - if you want a bit of free advice feel free to PM me! I can see if I can help at all.

JaneJeffer · 15/05/2019 15:23

I'm always recommending this guy on here. I found him really helpful. He has other videos as well but I like this one because it has a simple exercise you can do when you start to feel panicky.

Disfordarkchocolate · 15/05/2019 15:40

I'm living this too and it's bloody awful.

I'm on medication and have had one lot of CBT and I'm waiting for another. Currently continuing the exposure therapy I started with CBT by gradually increasing how long I spend in the back garden and it's very hard. My boss thinks my progress is rubbish but I've gone from not being able to go in the back garden to being able to hang the washing out and listen to 5 songs in the garden. I even went for a drive last week to a local village.

It's so hard, life feels very closed in and I feel I completely missed autumn and winter with this illness. Currently, I'm using the calm app, I'm doing the 7-day anxiety meditation and will do more anxiety focused ones after that.

Good luck.

Angie169 · 15/05/2019 15:50

Is it possible for you to have a neighbour walk with you? , particularly if there is somebody elderly who may be lonely then convince yourself you're doing it for their benefit so you have to do it. Would that work for you?
Or just asked them to stand at the gate and watch you walk to the end of the road so they can come and help you if you do need it

Nicecupofcoco · 15/05/2019 15:57

I just want to say well done op for getting to your neighbours driveway! That must have been so difficult! I know it's hard but I think the best thing you can do is try to keep repeating that. So everyday if you can walk to your neighbours drive way then that is a massive step, you need to do daily if you can, until it becomes much less daunting!
Then when you feel ready, you go to next door but one... And repeat daily! The aim is to keep repeating and going slightly further when you feel able too! You can do it op!! Think how good you will feel afterwards. Exposure to what your scared of, but very small steps!

Nicecupofcoco · 15/05/2019 16:00

Well done too @disfordarkchocolate!

Disfordarkchocolate · 15/05/2019 16:18

Thanks, @Nicecupofcoco I was so proud of myself until my boss gave me a written warning. No support for mental health problems at my work, despite one of our core values being 'caring'.

Nicecupofcoco · 15/05/2019 16:25

@disfordarkchocolate really? That is terrible! I can't believe they can get away with that.
Just concentrate on you... Keep going with it all, keep achieving those small steps!

NellieBee · 15/05/2019 16:51

You need to do exposure therapy- gradually. The tip about walking to your neighbours house on day 1 then the next day go to the next neighbours house is a good one.

Ellabella989 · 15/05/2019 16:56

I used to have this as I suffer with dizziness a lot and was phobic of being outside on my own incase I became unwell.
I started standing on my street for 10 mins per day and would gradually walk a bit further. It took about 6 months but I can now go for an hour long walk alone. I still feel a bit nervous but I keep reminding myself of all the hundreds of walks I’ve done previously where nothing and has happened.
It’s a horrible thing to have to deal with so you have my full sympathies. Good luck x

tangledyarn · 15/05/2019 17:47

It's really tough. I'd reccomend CBT too but in meantime small steps everyday eg walk to end of road X 3, when that feels more comfy go 1 min further again keep repeating until feeling more comfortable and just gradually grading it up. Its really hard but people can and do recover from panic and agraphobia it just requires lots of commitment. Good luck!

niceupthedanceagain · 15/05/2019 18:06

I had this for a while and luckily made a full recovery. I listened to Paul McKenna "I can make you confident" hypnosis track, twice a day. I saw an improvement after the first week and after three weeks I was able to go to the shops etc. If not McKenna any good self hypnosis track should help.

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