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Original poster

I’ve just mortified myself

45 replies

Inarightpickleandchutney · 12/05/2019 18:21

I’ve known this guy for 15 years give or take. Thought he was nice and attractive but I never thought anything of it as I was married.

I’ve been divorced a while now and after a wine decided to message him asking him for a drink, said I’ve always liked him and it would be nice to spend some time together.

He has not replied at all.

It’s been 2 days.

I’m moving to Australia and have booked my face transplant and new passport.

I was married a long time and this was the first time I’ve ever asked someone out (not even for a date, just to spend time!!!) and it went so wrong:

Help me not crawl under a rock please????

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 12/05/2019 18:22

Arrrgh why did you do that?!

Do you ever bump into him when you're out?

Do you know he's definitely read your message?

Alwaysgrey · 12/05/2019 18:23

You’ve been brave. There’s no shame in it at all. I get why you’re embarrassed but a lot of people are useless at texting back immediately. If he’s not interested and doesn’t text back after a week at least you know. Well done for doing it!

HollowTalk · 12/05/2019 18:23

You could send another message saying, "Because my boyfriend is new to the area and doesn't know many guys around here"?

Traveler001 · 12/05/2019 18:23

What exactly did you say in your message? There must be a way out of it that is slightly less painful than a new face Grin

Mousella · 12/05/2019 18:30

I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of at all. And there is no reason to look for a way out of it. You found him attractive and told him. You’ve done nothing wrong whatsoever 🤷‍♀️

Incidentally, if he got the msg then not to respond is incredibly rude of him.

Pour yourself another wine (but don’t text again) and think nothing more of it Smile

FiremanKing · 12/05/2019 18:34

If you don’t ask, you don’t get!

You presented a hand of friendship or more in a perfectly straightforward, no nonsense manner so please don’t feel ashamed.

Lots of people play silly games so at least you were to the point and not a time waster.

He may not like being so direct himself and feel awkward but that his problem not yours.

Wishing you the very best in your bright new future and I hope you have fun in finding someone along the way.

Original poster
Inarightpickleandchutney · 12/05/2019 18:35

Ok I need you to tell me to have a word with myself and not send any sort of follow up. That’s going to make it worse right?!

It’s likely I’ll see him but more in passing type of thing so I need to lock it away and make like it never happened..

OP posts:
FiremanKing · 12/05/2019 18:43

Don’t send a follow up. If you see him out hold your head high and laugh it off. His loss not yours.

SunshineCake · 12/05/2019 18:49

Is he definitely single?

Alwaysgrey · 12/05/2019 18:50

I wouldn’t send a follow up. That’s too much. You’ve put the ball in his court and put yourself out there. If he decides it’s a more a friendship thing at least you’ve had a go. Too many people play games.

asdou · 12/05/2019 18:52

Sounds like something I'd do! Grin

In a years time, you'll laugh at the memory - cringeworthy though it might feel now.

Original poster
Inarightpickleandchutney · 12/05/2019 18:53

He is definitely single yes.
A follow up is a route to desperate I think, but at the same time I’m mortified!

Please restrain me!

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 12/05/2019 18:53

Don't follow up, he may just be taking time to think about your suggestion, and will reply by Tuesday.

If not, don't be embarrassed, carry on as if nothing has happened.

julensaor · 12/05/2019 18:53

don't send a follow-up, does he know you are single now? He probably always knew you as married and may be unsure. Maybe he is not interested but remember no matter how bad you feel, you have given him a huge compliment in asking and people look kindly on people who give them compliments. If you see him him in person, I would not pretend it didn't happen, I'd just be brazen and say 'look just chancing my arm, no harm done' - he'll say an excuse or be embarrassed - but he will only be flattered, it's not the end of the world. And then brother and say...NEXT please and on you go again.

asdou · 12/05/2019 18:53

Definitely just hold your head high - you were only asking if he wanted to hang out sometime. You didn't propose!

Sexnotgender · 12/05/2019 18:55

You don’t ask you don’t get!

Hopefully he replies either way soon.

babyfish · 12/05/2019 18:56

Message him and say Oh shit! That wasn't meant for you. Oops!

Moominfan · 12/05/2019 18:56

There's nothing embarrassing in what you've done. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Disappointing he hasn't replied even if it was to reject. Silence seems cowardly to me.

Changedforhairpost · 12/05/2019 18:59

Can you see if he's read it? Or is it a text, so you're not sure whether it reached him or not.

You haven't done anything wrong, head high & onwards! :)

SlimGin · 12/05/2019 19:03

Do NOT send a follow up or any kind of cover, it will be embarrassingly obvious.

The message in itself isn't embarrassing. I've always told people if I like them because I think it's nice to be told. Otherwise they may go their whole life not knowing and I'd always think 'what if'. I hope he replies OP and if not maybe sign up to some speed dating Grin

SunshineCake · 12/05/2019 19:04

Definitely don't say it wasn't for himHmm. You're an adult, you like him, you told him, no harm done. If you say not for him and it turns out he likes you too then you may miss your chance.

Submariner · 12/05/2019 19:04

Don't send a follow up!!!!!

But there was nothing wrong with the first message. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It was worth a shot.

NottonightJosepheen · 12/05/2019 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NottonightJosepheen · 12/05/2019 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConfCall · 12/05/2019 19:12

You’ve done nothinh wrong. He’s behaved pretty rudely though, by ignoring it. Unless...he thinks you’re still married and looking for a side piece in which case it’s understandable that he’s not answered.