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Original poster

DC getting themselves to school

68 replies

TheThievingDIL · 11/05/2019 14:58

I've a hospital appointment come through, for exact time DC leave house to go to school. I need to leave at the absolute very latest 45 minutes before. DH reckons DC can get themselves out to school and thinks I'm babying them by saying I'd try to shift the appointment and if I can't beg a favour off someone. They are 7&9 and we live next door to school. They do not need to walk on a road or even pavement to get there. I think they're too young and will lose the key He thinks they'll manage. DH can't stay in the morning as he's leaving early from work to be there for a parents meeting in the evening.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheThievingDIL · 11/05/2019 16:20

Yes we do. I am not going into further details but we do both need to attend. No discussion. Date was fixed a couple months ago. It is officially a summons.

Out of interest, what age would it be ok?

OP posts:

LIZS · 11/05/2019 16:22

How late are your parents evening appointments, could you reschedule any later, then dh gets there as soon as he can. If he gets delayed so be it.

Bunnybigears · 11/05/2019 16:25

If you ask the school for the children to attend breakfast club as a one off they might be able to accommodate. You still haven't said why you cant approach a friend or a fellow school mum? If you have to both be at parents evening and you have to attend the hospital appointment then DH may have to have the day off or work a shorter day. He is allowed unpaid leave to look after dependents. For someone who doesn't want to leave the kids alone you are not very keen on exploring alternatives.

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Sirzy · 11/05/2019 16:26

Well if the child/family has issues to that level then it’s certainly not wise to leave the children home alone!

Original poster

TheThievingDIL · 11/05/2019 16:27

The parents evening cannot be changed and is not really relevant to the question I asked. Which was about DC getting themselves out to school.

OP posts:

PatriciaHolm · 11/05/2019 16:29

You mention on another post that DC1 has special needs.

That would suggest that no, this is inappropriate.

Original poster

TheThievingDIL · 11/05/2019 16:31

He is allowed unpaid leave to look after dependents.
If he wants to lose his job. I'd rather he didn't.

You still haven't said why you cant approach a friend or a fellow school mum?
I haven't said I won't. It's what I intend to do if I can't shift my hospital appointment to a more sensible time. I merely wanted to know if I was being over protective and untrusting of my DC.

OP posts:

ILoveMaxiBondi · 11/05/2019 16:31

Ok so there is a quite serious issue with at least one of these children if you have both been summons to attended parents evening. That tells you enough to know you absolutely cannot leave your children alone for 45 minutes.

DullPortraits · 11/05/2019 16:31

Nope not appropriate- change your appointment unless you can get someone to help you out with getting DC out the door to school x

AudTheDeepMinded · 11/05/2019 16:34

My kids are almost exactly those ages and we live right next to the school. No way would I leave them. They'd bicker, or get busy playing, stick a DVD on and forget, lock themselves out having forgotten their lunch/sports kit etc.
Also, our school is quite strict about kids of that age being taken to the playground (for DS1) and to the classroom (for DS2).
You have to rearrange the app or make provision for someone to be with your kids. Have you a neighbour who could help?

PopcornPopper · 11/05/2019 16:35

I would ask a favour of another parent, ask can you drop them round early because of the hospital appointment.

I have regularly accepted other people's children for this. Also to ensure a Mum could get to an early morning meeting set by a manager who was deliberately trying to exclude those with flexible start times due to school runs.

Surely there must be another parent you could ask. I work with 7 year olds, absolutely no way would I leave one for 45 minutes and it is too much to ask of a 9 year old to be responsible for a 7 year old.

HalfBloodPrincess · 11/05/2019 16:35

I’m extremely laid back, and have left all my dc alone all day from age 11 in the holidays, but I agree it’s too much responsibility for the 9 year old.

NerrSnerr · 11/05/2019 16:36

I agree with others, they're too young to be left for that length of time. Something has to give if there are no other childcare options, you'll have to decide between your husband being at work, the hospital appointment or both parents being at parents evening.

Original poster

TheThievingDIL · 11/05/2019 16:37

Oh the assumptions 😮
SN does not mean idiot.
Nor does it mean incapable of getting themselves ready.
Nor does it mean they can't be left alone together.

I personally think they are too young for the responsibility of getting themselves to school on time. DH disagrees.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 11/05/2019 16:40

The more you post the more I think that your just going to do it. For someone who supposedly doesn’t agree with it your doing an awful lot of defending!

PatriciaHolm · 11/05/2019 16:42

I'd didn't say he was an idiot.

You are getting extremely defensive given that everyone here is agreeing with you!

Bunnybigears · 11/05/2019 16:42

Great so you dont have a problem. MN agrees with you, too young to be left SN or not and you have said you are going to ask a friend/school mum to help so it's all sorted.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 11/05/2019 16:45

Can't they go to school and hang out in the playground for 45mins?

AudTheDeepMinded · 11/05/2019 16:45

Please don't think I was suggesting that they were incapable due to SN. My kids are NT and I would say they are incapable due to age and immaturity.

AudTheDeepMinded · 11/05/2019 16:47

ItAllGoingToBeFine I think most schools are not open until a set time. Ours has gates that aren't opened until 8.45. You can't just wander in when you feel like it.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 11/05/2019 16:48

Oh the assumptions 😮
SN does not mean idiot.

no one said it does.

Nor does it mean incapable of getting themselves ready.
Nor does it mean they can't be left alone together.

Their ages do.

woolduvet · 11/05/2019 16:53

I think they're too young to be left alone irrespective of any other factors.

woolduvet · 11/05/2019 16:54

And if they went into school to share their exciting morning of being alone, then I'd be expecting a call off your senco.

PCohle · 11/05/2019 16:56

You seem very defensive of this plan for someone who supposedly thinks it's not a great idea. Surely everyone on this thread agreeing with you is a good thing?

Some people have additionally tried to help by making suggestions re childcare that apparently won't work in the circumstances. You seem to be getting very angry about that.

Zoflorabore · 11/05/2019 17:02

Op you asked a question and have been given many answers, most of them the same in different variations.
If you choose to ignore the responses then fine. Own the decision and be done with it.

Here's mine- i have an 8yr old dd who is very sensible, runs her own showers and can occupy herself if I'm busy at home. No way on gods earth would I do this, even if we lived next door to the school. A lot can happen in 45 minutes.

Unless the hospital situation is more urgent than the safety of your 2 children then it needs to be cancelled. It's a no brainer.

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