Didn't think 50 was "old" anymore!

[Asta19]

I'm nearly 50 and menopausal. Apparently, according to a few comments on threads I've seen on here recently, that makes me a bit loopy and a candidate for dementia! Ok, I'm not 20 anymore but I don't think I'm ready for a care home just yet! I thought people were less ageist nowadays but it seems if you do anything "unexpected" after the age of 50 then the first thing some people jump to is dementia! I don't know the stats but I think it's still pretty rare in people of my age. I am suffering from menopausal symptoms but again that doesn't render me incapable of any intelligent thought! I think ladies over 50 should be given a little more credit!

Totally agree Girl even if Jennifer, Kylie, Sandra etc had no Botox or whatever, they would still be very attractive, fit, vibrant women even if they had a few more wrinkles than they do now, to say they only look good because of work is an easy cop out for people to say, they will still have to work hard at keeping fit and eating a healthy diet etc.

Well the pressure does sometimes come from non famous women as evidenced here.

Im not really influenced by what celebrities do or dont do. Its things like this that make 25 year olds think they need lip fillers and Botox

Id never heard of Jamie Genevieve until last week when i saw her in Superdrug"s free magazine.

Nobody that age needs to do this to themselves Its ludicrous.

I wouldnt do it and im 46 next month.

All these expectations on women now. Are we really living in much better times than 30 to 40 years ago?

In the tone of this thread. How do i feel? An incredible sadness I cant even put my finger on why but i suspect its to do with todays climate. And i dont mean the weather!

I was 50 in February. I still have the same energy I had in my 20s and the same ability to go out on a bender 😂. I work harder now than I ever did in my 30s and 40s and I get told I look late 30s so I am quite happy with that.

I certainly don't feel anywhere near middle aged.

Had the menopause in my mid 40s and that's just about over with now and other than hot flushes I haven't really noticed it.

There is so much positivity on this thread. It’s great reading posts from women in their fifties talking about how fit they are and how young they feel.

True re: anyone being able to take care of themselves with diet, exercise etc but money makes it much easier.

Kylie, Sandra etc have nutritionists, dermatologists, surgeons, chefs, fitness professionals, coaches, counsellors all living in or on speed dial.

I've read a couple of threads recently where someone has trotted out the 'early dementia?' reason for why someone has started acting strangely. In both cases the person is a woman who is of menopausal age and I suspect the posters suggesting dementia probably haven't gone through menopause yet themselves.
I, quite naively, thought menopause meant hot flushes and perhaps some insomnia but I've heard more and more women talk about brain fog, forgetfulness, personality changes etc. It's something I had no idea happened. Ulrika Jonsson has actually just done an interview about her menopause where she compares it to dementia.

@TartanTexan People use that as an excuse. We can all:

Drink more water (free)
Run in the park (free)
Lift bean can weights (free)
Eat less crap (cheap)
Counselling (courtesy of Mumsnet - free)
Get glowing skin (rub with flannel - about a quid from Boots).

But it's not like that always or for everyone, @Bazzill! It certainly wasn't for me. And dealing with my diet also helped to minimise the symptoms - I'm through and out the other side of the menopause now and it was really pretty easy for me. (No doubt luck and genes also played a part as well as my diet!)

Yes, absolutely agree but it is undoubtedly much easier for some to maintain a healthy regime into late middle and older age.

I have seen this too.

I am 52. I've definitely been perimenopausal for several years now, and I am very much looking forward to periods stopping forever and coming out of the other side. It definitely affects my memory and my moods, but I do hate it when I see the "early dementia" line so regularly trotted out on here. Much more likely that it is the fluctuating hormone levels (mostly dropping) of the menopause.

I agree that it must be usually trotted out here by people not yet in the throes of the menopause.

In my experience, many of the outward effects of the menopause (mood swings etc.) are broadly similar to those experienced by adolescent teenage girls, just with more maturity added in. For me the additional symptoms are poorer memory and flooding periods. These make me very crabby at times but it doesn't equal dementia.

My mother went through it in a similar way to me. She came out of the other side, is in her mid eighties now and doesn't have dementia.

On the plus side, I do have much more confidence in myself now and really couldn't give less of a shit what other people think. My youngest daughter is now 16 and so (parent taxi service aside) I have more time for myself, even though it sometimes does not feel like that still.

Incidentally my dad does have dementia, the early symptoms for him did not include personality changes (that happened four or five years down the line). First major noticeable symptoms were forgetting how to tell the time, how to use the microwave/ TV remote, struggling to find his way out of places (public toilets for example). His gait changed and he got confused going over steps, down escalators, or if the floor changed from hardwood to carpet or similar.

The threads I've noticed recently where early dementia has been suggested by well-meaning posters have specifically been about women in their early fifties. I think it's far, far more likely that any personality changes could be as a result of fluctuating hormones rather than dementia.

If you've been through the menopause and haven't struggled with brain fog, or depression, or intense sudden bouts of rage, it does mean that thousands of other women aren't as lucky. Knowing that's it's not uncommon at this stage of life, that you've not developed early onset Alzheimer's, and that there's light at the end of the tunnel can only be a good thing surely?

I think we do need to talk more about menopause. My mum was extremely lucky in that one day her periods just stopped and that was it, same thing happened to my sister although she’s several years younger then me. Me on the other hand have had every painful symptom! I’ve been in peri for a couple of years now and like a PP I can’t wait for my periods to actually stop and for it to be over! However, I have told my DD of both my mum and sisters experiences, and mine. That way she’s prepared that it could be either extreme or something in the middle! She was quite shocked at how bad menopause can be. Why aren’t we being told this as young girls? along with the talk of periods, reproduction etc? All that’s said about menopause is the average age it happens and maybe a bit about hot flushes! Is it because for a 13 yr old girl it’s too far away to think about? The thing is if we were all educated about it at a younger age there would be more understanding. Then we might not see so many of these well meaning, but ultimately patronising, comments about dementia.

I do have some brain fog. Just last night I started watching a film on Netflix and 2 minutes into it my DD came in and asked what I was watching and in that 2 minutes I’d forgotten the name of the film! My memory isn’t great for some things at the moment but it doesn’t concern me and I don’t think I have dementia!

I personally am not going to have anything like Botox etc. I’m quite lucky in that thus far I don’t actually have many wrinkles, obviously I will get more in time. But I actually don’t like the kind of taut face look on an older woman and wouldn’t want that for myself. Whether people say “oh Asta looks great at 50” or they say “god Asta looks old at 50” has zero impact on my life, my self esteem or emotional well-being. So I honestly don’t care.

I agree that we should talk about it more. Going through at 42 meant a lot of scrabbling about trying to get information, which inevitably started with a 'oh you're too young, it won't be the menopause' type response. Including from my seemingly 12 year old GP, who spent the entire appointment trying to print out 28 pages of very generalised NHS info on the menopause which ended with the sage advice to make an appointment with my GP for further information. Which is what I thought I'd just done. I wanted to know whether I should have HRT, I'd lost two friends to breast cancer the previous year, was there a link? Might my symptoms (periods stopped, hot flushes, heart palpitations, crippling lower back pain, looking 10 years older over night, itchy ribs - god they itched) be something else? Was it normal to still sometimes feel like I was having my period without the bleeding, all the usual symptoms, just no bleeding. Might they start again? Osteoporosis - discuss. Genetics - my mother's menopause (was I going to become my mother basically). Why was this happening so early? Lots of questions, some felt stupid because hot flushes and hipster level beard growth was all that ever got spoken/joked about. The answers were very few. My mother claims she breezed through the menopause with no symptoms - the rest of the family are still recovering from her going through menopause 30 years later. For me I had the symptoms above, my periods went a bit erratic for about 6 months before hand then stopped, never to return. The rest of the symptoms bounced around for a year or so, the hot flushes, particularly night time ones for a year more, I ended up sleeping through them and only knowing I'd had one because I'd wake up with curly hair. I got the odd cystic acne style breakout, if left alone it would go away quietly, if touched it would scar. My face got a bit downy, I discovered things in Boots I'd never noticed noticed before. I didn't rage but I was stressed, a lot of the time, my understanding of anything new crumbled every so often, I lost all interest in sex (but not snogging). I felt very alone, even when with other people (except when snogging). It's over now, I feel great. Watching my friends going through it now (most around the 50 mark) I know we are all different.

The menopause made me forget how to do paragraphs however.

I'm mid-50s and feel exactly as I did when in my mid-30s, part from when I catch sight of myself on FaceTime or in a mirror.
Oh, and I can no longer sit on the floor cross legged.