Didn't think 50 was "old" anymore!

[Asta19]

I'm nearly 50 and menopausal. Apparently, according to a few comments on threads I've seen on here recently, that makes me a bit loopy and a candidate for dementia! Ok, I'm not 20 anymore but I don't think I'm ready for a care home just yet! I thought people were less ageist nowadays but it seems if you do anything "unexpected" after the age of 50 then the first thing some people jump to is dementia! I don't know the stats but I think it's still pretty rare in people of my age. I am suffering from menopausal symptoms but again that doesn't render me incapable of any intelligent thought! I think ladies over 50 should be given a little more credit!

MN has a disappointingly high amount of casual ageism

I agree.

I'm 59 so there's no hope for me....

I've noticed the casual ageism too - especially on the S and B threads.

My worse time was around 45 - 50. I was an older mother (elderly primagravida ha!) and felt I didn't have a future at all.

I'm back at work full time. I' m old enough to be my boss's mother

I've ticked many things off my bucket list such as:

paying off my mortgage.
travelling the world.
getting my piano grades
bringing up and launching a DD.
staying a size 10.

Ok, I probably won't be able to afford that Alfa Spider or wear Giorgio Armani...hey ho.

I've got a very well-developed bullshit radar and find many youngsters dull and lacking in aspiration..

I also feel far more geared up to doing and learning things now than I ever did before. We're expected to make all our major life choices way too early, from education, career, property ladder etc. I know so many people my age (50) who after a glass of wine or three start ruminating over how things might have been if they'd known then what they know now, done things differently, been less pressured, said as if every door is now closed. They're not! At 50 we're potentially only at the half way mark of adult life.

@hoppity: yes. Absolutely!

Most people my age were in work from the age of 16. I did 4 years in HE which was quite unusual for the time but started a full-on career from age 22.

DP had a mortgage at 19. I bought my first house at the grand old age of 28.

Most of my friends have already retired (many are teachers, nurses etc). I don't envy them at all; most are having to care for GCs and spending their time in caravans and falling out with their families.

I feel quite young and vibrant in comparison.

I’m 42 and dreading turning 50. It feels old to me

Buggerthebotox - my sister just took early retirement, I literally think she's mental! She has stuff to keep her occupied for the next year or so with house/family things but then she has no plan, early retirement was the big life goal. She seems completely confused that there would be something else to actually do at all after that point. She's 56.

Why? What on earth do you think is going to happen to you when you reach 50?!

I'm 59 and feel that in many ways my health and fitness is better than when I was younger.

I go swing dancing and hill walking. I've got more time to do the things I enjoy than when I was tired from looking after three children.

Reddedder - you're actually already in your fifth decade.

So many symptoms of ‘old age’ are reversible. Memory can be improved by Sudoku or paid employment. Aches & pains and clumsiness can be improved with yoga. Pilates improves posture. Weight-bearing exercise builds new muscle and bone. Livers repair themselves. Skin rejuvenates every few weeks.

I’m 56. Tech? I was a software developer in the 80s (we called ourselves computer programmers then), and still work in IT as an architect so I know may way around it better than most.

I earn a good living, can buy what I want, go where I want, my kids are grown up and independent. I’m reasonably fit and healthy, can swim a mile. OK,mI’ve had a few issues with the menopause but I’m free of debilitating monthly periods. It’s not a bad age to be at all.

I always call out the ageism, esp on S& B. Makes me cross. Don’t stand for the crap.

@hoppity: I think a lot of people have that attitude. I was lucky in that I took a good few years out of employment so going back to work was an ambition in itself. Many women won't have had a break, even when bringing up children. I suppose freedom to do what you like brings its own pressures, especially if you've been used to being at the beck and call of others.

One of my closest friends is 72, slim as a wand and into everything. She works part time and fit as a fiddle. She's gay, so no children or family commitments.

I think having interests helps.

I can't imagine being bored, ever.

When I got to 45 I thought to myself - I'm only halfway through my life -(my mum is 93) I could potentially live another 45 years or more.
I also thought yay! No more PMT

I'm 55, finally through the menopause & feel amazing. I certainly don't feel old - well, apart from first thing in the morning when I'm a bit creaky. I had a few years of brain fogginess during peri-menopause but that seems to have cleared now. I work full time in a demanding job which I love & have no plans to slow down yet.

I agree about the casual ageism on MN, there's a lot of it about unfortunately.

I think I’m starting to notice, and comment on, ageism a lot more now. I guess it’s one of those things you often don’t notice until you get older yourself! Going forward I think I definitely have to start challenging it more. I agree with a lot of things so many of you have said. This is actually a great time in our lives and it’s really encouraging to hear people over 60 say they feel the same. Not about the ageism but about feeling good! I’m going to enjoy these years and make the most of them.

I'm in my 50s and it never occurred to me to see it as late middle age, I don't feel middle aged at all though I probably act it in some ways

50 is old if you're 20. I'm 42, and 50 isn't old to me, because I'll be 50 soon! It's all relative.

I think 20 is young, and happy enough not to be that age again.

My 30s were great, and I've got high hopes for my 40s

But I can see my face ageing and I really didn't think I'd care, but I do. I think lots of celebrities getting Botox makes it hard to age naturally.

Someone mentioned Kylie and Jennifer Aniston up thread. Of course they look good, they've had so much work done they don't actually look 50, hardly people to hold up to looking good at 50

I care too about looking older, I know some people don't, or say they don't, but I do. I threaten to get the things that bother me the most fixed every so often. The grey hairs are getting the better of me now. There are lines. I don't see altering one of these things any different than altering another. Whatever makes you feel happy.

Im aiming to look healthy and happy at 50
. 49 n9w and im not hideous but i have to get a different "beauty" goal. Health. Happiness. Serenely wise.

My skin is ok but I hate the sagging cheeks.

Oh me too. I bought a facial flex device which is supposed to help with jowls. I havent noticed a huge improvement yet but i only got it 2 weeks ago. I hope it helps

I sometimes feel I've stepped back in time on Mumsnet. Remember in the 70/80s when 40 was old and you needed to quietly slip into matronhood? That's what it feels like on here sometimes.
I'm 51, I did find it hard turning 50 but I cant do anything about it. In the real world, people don't seem to see to see 50 as old, or at least they say they don't!
I haven't hit the menopause yet and I don't have any aching joints/memory lapses, so I don't really feel any different to what I ever have.

Someone mentioned Kylie and Jennifer Aniston up thread. Of course they look good, they've had so much work done they don't actually look 50, hardly people to hold up to looking good at 50
I agree with this, so who does look great but also looks in their 50’s? Helena Bonham-Carter? Jennifer Saunders?

Of course they look good, they've had so much work done.

That’s as maybe, but physically they look after themselves and anyone can do that. Anyone really can eat well, do yoga, Pilates, weights exercise.