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Original poster

Why would he initiate plans for a first date yesterday for today and then go silent today.. urgh

30 replies

Loka123 · 06/05/2019 11:46

Very brief-"met" online just yesterday, had a text convo for about 7 hours or so - got on quite well, very funny/banter type conversation, swapped numbers, agreed to meet for a drink today in my area (about 1 hour drive from him) - he suggested today and was being flirty etc towards the end of the convo yesterday - I fell asleep without replying and last message from him was "goodnight beautiful xxx etc" - I answered this morning saying I must have fallen asleep and asked to confirm plans for today (as he hadn't decided whether to drive or take public transport today and that would affect the place we'd meet) - he saw the message but has not replied and it's been 2 hours..! and 15 mins left to our arranged time.

So annoying as I'm a planner so wanted to know in advance so could get ready in time etc. Why do people do this? If you're coming, tell me the details. If you're not coming, give me an excuse and cancel or postpone. I could have been doing loads with this day off rather than waiting around, esp as he seemed super keen yesterday.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 06/05/2019 11:50

Where were you meant to be meeting? I'd be furious - that's such bad behaviour on his part to mess up your day.

BigStripeyBastard · 06/05/2019 11:55

Just write him off now. He's flaky.

Original poster
Loka123 · 06/05/2019 11:56

@HollowTalk thanks for you message - yeah I'm glad I'm not the only one who'd be annoyed by this behaviour. The place we were meant to be meeting was a choice between two depending on whether he was driving or taking public transport so not like he'd have assumed I'd be at spot X (as it was still to be confirmed)

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Original poster
Loka123 · 06/05/2019 11:58

@BigStripeyBastard Yeah you're probs right.. I keep trying to think of understandable reasons for why he's not said anything.. like a family emergency etc. especially as I don't really know a lot at this stage about his life, etc but it seems way more likely he's just a douche lol.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 06/05/2019 12:03

No, don't think up reasons. You will only find out in the years to come that he's just like this. Get rid now, at this first opportunity to prove himself a flake.

I think when you're dating try to think of a guy you know who treats his partner really well, and think "Would he act like this?" A decent man wouldn't behave like that today - you've had a very early warning sign.

PamelaDooveOrangeJoof · 06/05/2019 12:05

He was probably chatting to someone else too and has made arrangements with them instead during the time you fell asleep. Don’t make excuses for him. Bin him off. NEXT

Original poster
Loka123 · 06/05/2019 12:14

@HollowTalk yeah you're probs right

@PamelaDooveOrangeJoof that thought did cross my mind but I literally only fell asleep like 10 mins before he did.. unless he was chatting to them in the morning today lol.. he did keep saying how out of his league I was in terms of intelligence but I'd presumed that was just a flirting tactic and even if he had met someone else, surely he could cancel today's meet-up if so.. even if it doesn't work out with the "other one" (if there is one), then he could have always rearranged with me.. his supposed back-up lol seems rude and pointless to just leave people hanging.

I feel like this kind of flaky behaviour is such commonly male behavioural issue... I really doubt women would do this.

OP posts:
fecketyfeck21 · 06/05/2019 12:16

do something more interesting today that you enjoy, put this down to experience.

AsleepAllDay · 06/05/2019 12:24

Probably got a 'better' offer. Block him

HollowTalk · 06/05/2019 13:21

He realised straightaway you were out of his league as far as intelligence was concerned? I think he's right!

BlueMerchant · 06/05/2019 13:26

My first thought was that he'd had a drink and all the banter and plans to meet up were nothing but bravado.
In RL I think he's a boring wet flannel.

Original poster
Loka123 · 06/05/2019 13:48

Thanks everyone :)

@HollowTalk haha indeed..!

@BlueMerchant you're too right about that lol..

everything happens for a reason it seems.. proven by today.. I just went back on the app where we met and saw that he'd updated his pics (i.e. added two more pics) last night at around midnight just before he went to bed.. he did only have 1 pic up on there when we started speaking which I thought was odd (as no real proof it's him), esp as he was wearing sunglasses in the pic but he looked like a 9/10 in that pic so I still chatted to him... and he has the same good looking pic on his whatsapp.. yet the two pics he added yesterday.. omg... in one of them he's got paint smeared on his face and he looks super drunk and like he's 12 years old.. in the other pic, he looks bloated, at least a 7 years older than his stated age (he said he's 32) and just gross haha so made it even easier to block him lol..

Maybe the good looking pic was when he was younger or the sunglasses, angle made him look a LOT nicer.. and to think I was a bit worried about what I'd look like him for him and was even gonna put on my nicest lipstick.. HA

IF he did end up look like the bloated pic in reality, it would have been a very awkward meet-up lol

OP posts:
AsleepAllDay · 06/05/2019 13:49

Just unmatch him and move on with your life. Plenty of people are really weird on these apps, make promises and don't keep them

Original poster
Loka123 · 06/05/2019 14:04

@AsleepAllDay I already have lol did mention in the anecdote above that I'd blocked him so did the unmatching at the same time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loka123 · 06/05/2019 14:18

.... so an hour after me blocking him on whatsapp and the app, he's messaged me via iMessage saying he's "soo sorry, and that he apparently fell back to sleep and that I must think he's an idiot and if there's any way he can make it up to me"

.... :/

OP posts:
Original poster
Loka123 · 06/05/2019 17:16

What does everyone think..? Forgive once or not worth it?

OP posts:
Redglitter · 06/05/2019 17:19

I'd give him a second chance. Hes contacted you despite you blocking him, so that hasnt put him off. You've both fallen asleep.so you're quite there Smile

I'd rearrange your meet & see how it goes

Mayalready · 06/05/2019 17:22

Ask him which of the pics is the recent one?

ineedaknittedhat · 06/05/2019 17:24

But he's bloated, so why bother?

AsleepAllDay · 06/05/2019 17:31

Hmm maybe. It'll have to be a date on your terms though

Nousernameforme · 06/05/2019 17:33

You are no longer attracted to him and you only have his word that he fell asleep straight after seeing your message.

Seriously bin him off.

Skiptheskip · 06/05/2019 17:38

Forgive once or not worth it?

Depends... how desperate are you?

I mean, he’s proved himself flaky and you’ve slated his looks, calling him bloated and gross.

Now you’re considering giving him a ‘second chance’

AsleepAllDay · 06/05/2019 17:40

But yeah, if I don't fancy someone's photos than I won't chance it in person. My time is valuable

Nicolastuffedone · 06/05/2019 17:51

Doesn’t look quite so bloated now.....

DaveCoachesgavemetheclap · 06/05/2019 17:53

But he's bloated, so why bother?

😂