Who else hates FIFA, Fortnite etc?

[xsquared]

They turn usually pleasant DS into the spawn of Satan with his gamer's rage.

He is off thankfully and out with a friend playing football. I want to try and encourage j to do other things that hasn't got anything to do with a screen but they are often rejected. Anyone else has this problem?

Nope because the first sign of being angry or upset the game gets turned off. Games aren't supposed to make you angry or upset they are supposed to be fun so if you are not having fun it gets turned off.

I'd wager virtually all parents of 12-14y old boys have this problem. I personally turn off the wifi and boot them out on their bikes or in the garden if anyone starts getting ragey.

Strict controls and other activities are the answer for me - encourage sport and get him a bike. I was a gamer so largely sympathetic but its not good for them to spend too much time gaming to the exclusion of all else. They would if I didnt stop them.

Yes, we do that too but what other activities does a 14 year old have besides football and PlayStation?

He doesn't like reading, he's not into much else other than football. He doesn't even like going to the cinema.

It's perfectly normal for games to make you angry or upset

That doesn't however mean you can get an attitude with your family because you lost the game or died in an important match.

Thanks calpop.
DS isn't good at amusing himself but fine if a friend is free and they go and do stuff together.

They're all different but mine likes going out on his bike and plays football and cricket.which I encourage so they at least get a break. I turn off the wifi if there is any aggression.

My ds has never played football or gamed. Trying to think what he did do at 14...read, draw, write, play out, play lego, go swimming, watch TV, watch films, make stop motion films, go for a walk...

but yes if left to his own devices, he'd be online. Every thing in moderation is what I strive for. I see it as my job to enforce that. Also, I think it calms down a bit as they get older, 15/16/17, apparently.

Dangling, you see, in my head that would be what DS would come up with if he got bored, but it's just not him.

Here's hoping calpop!

Yes, we do that too but what other activities does a 14 year old have besides football and PlayStation?
When mine was 14 (5 years ago) he loved and still lives his gaming. However he was also into mountain biking, going to Explorers, playing ice hockey for s local team and walking with his mates. Now he us 19, his hobbies are exactly the same including gaming but he's so into wild camping gig up to Scotland and the Lake District often.

My boys also turn into monsters after games but I don’t have this problem anymore because I haven’t let them play on games during the week for a few years now and they only play on weekends and holidays if they’ve done chores, reading and homework and it’s after 3pm.

I don’t mind them watching tv or films or even YouTube, it’s just the games that causes issues.

Mine will go for bike rides, draw, write stories on the lap top, (they occasionally enter competitions) play in the garden, go swimming, even bake.
As well as football, they go to scouts too.

in my head that would be what DS would come up with if he got bored

He clearly needs to be bored more!

Maybe I should have used "when" rather than "if", Mrs Pratchett.

Of course he gets bored, but as far as he's concerned, there's never anything to do and any suggestion I give him is rejected or doesn't last more than a few minutes.

Maybe put some more restrictions on his gaming time as opposed to waiting until he’s angry.

I’ve played fortnite and it really riles you up so I can see why they get so cross. And as kids it’s very hard to regulate that strong emotion. I find it’s better if they play for shorter bursts without headsets.

My dcs will moan about being bored but it’s not my responsibility to constantly entertain them! I let them moan and they soon sort themselves out.

Me! Hate it!
I'm militant about how long ds gets on fortnite but I still hate the fucker and I hate being Policemum.
Mine will go out and play footy if he can find a pal who will get off fortnite long enough. That's the problem-all his friends are plugged in way more than him.
He will also whinge for England about BORED but eventually draw or read.
Still. If he said he was "going for a walk" I'd assume he was off to buy drugs!
(Seriously, dangling check his room! )

"but what other activities does a 14 year old have besides football and PlayStation? "

Cycling/BMX, fishing, reading, drawing ,cooking, pool, darts, board games, cinema, bowling, crazy golf, dog walking, skating, swimming, junior gym, museums, gardening, puzzles, basketball, baking, seeing friends, youth groups, scouts, cadets, dance....

I mean you're right, there's nothing for a 14 to to do....

I've seen my teen sons "rage" at Fortnite, at FIFA, Football, Tennis, swimming (!) Falling off a bike, getting annoyed with friend ship issues ,struggling with instrument paying and even,memorably this week, algebra.

Teenage boys (and I imagine girls too but I only have boys) emotions are very much on the surface. It's fine for them to get frustrated and at times cheesed off......Fortnite causes it but so do lots of other stuff. But they all know that just because they feel that way they shouldn't be scary to others either physically or verbally.

Rather than restricting or banning stuff the important thing is to teach them to deal with these emotions and start to self regulate.

00100001 "I mean you're right, there's nothing for a 14 to to do...."

I am fully aware that there is a vast range of things that a 14 year old could do but if you have read my subsequent posts, you will see that it is my ds who reckons there's nothing to do.

He has a bike, he will be going fishing with his school in a few weeks' time, he used to go to scouts but unfortunately, decided it wasn't for him, he doesn't like reading, cinema although he occasionally watches things on his own TV but again that's screen. Baking isn't his thing although he will cook his own lunch sometimes. He is with a friend at the moment and has been gone since I started the thread. We don't own a dog and have no plans to. He used to play guitar and piano, and again, he didn't want to spend more than 20 minutes on practice and realised that he wasn't improving because of his lack of practice.

I am talking about normally on a Sunday afternoon.

Thanks fedup2017. dh and I have tried various strategies with mixed results. You are right about regulating the emotions though before they boil over and sat down with him one time to discuss coping strategies.

A lot of activities are expensive or not available though. I don't know a 14 year old who would go to Scouts..fishing assumes somewhere to fish. Bowling and cinema cost a lot. I wish there was a youth club or something where I live, or just anything free for older kids to do other than hanging on corners on too small bikes or smoking weed.

Agree about the rage with boys. Thankfully mine is into sports which does help. I feel like sports should be mandatory for teen boys. Like national service!

I hate games consoles. The PS4 is the source of the majority of arguments and raised voices in our house.

xsquared
How do you spend your downtime as a family.
In other words what do you do like doing together
I gave examples in my posts of things DS liked doing at 14 but we have always had full on mountain days since DS was very young, we mountain bike together until DS got his own cycling crowd.to go with when we werent around.
Ds did his D of E that he started at 14. Could that be something for your lad?
At weekends we made plans.sometimes it might be all of us, sometimes maybe Dp and Ds to go out without me if I was working( mates would vote as well).
I think it is important to to lead by example and do family activities, not all the time of course, at 14 you need to get the balance right between doing stuff together that is fun and letting them chill.

xsquared he sounds exactly like my 14y old, if that's any consolation. He's nearer 15 now and has come through puberty and i have to say hes a lot more pleasant and reasonable now. Hang in there 😁

notacooldad When the dcs were younger, we used to go for days out like visit museums or national trust properties. During the holidays, dh would take ds out on a hike, even if it took a lot of persuading.

I think at the moment, ds just doesn't think it's cool to do things with his family although we did go to an outdoor museum over the Easter holiday. So his standard activities are TV, PS, football, hang out at friend's house, hang out at the park.

Thanks Calpop. I shall stay positive!