Worst dates ever

[ThunderOnlyHappens]

Watched a bit of 'First Dates' and it reminded me of some odd dates I've been on.

1)The guy who cried at dinner because he kissed his dog
2) the guy who got his calculator out to work out my half of dinner
3) the guy who turned up wearing a floor length leather coat and who told me his job was in 'advertising'-he meant he was a leaflet dropper .

I stopped dating after this for a while because they all happened in the space of a few months!

Tell me yours, currently essay writing and need a break/distraction....

I was recently single say a month or so and went on a date with this guy who took me too a pub and told me we were going to meet his mate and her bf..all good so far chatting to the girl and they had been together a few months but only just official as he was living with his ex but not having sex etc...next thing you know my ex walks in and all hell (me) broke loose..not the best but set the bar very low for all future good dates!

I have 2. First one we went for a meal, we were getting on really well good conversation, lots of laughs, when he looked into my eyes and said 'I want to shit on your chest' I've never finished a meal so fast and ran out the door!
Second one we were having a drink and he turns to me and says do you fancy a bit of dogging! I quickly made my excuses and left!
I met some weird ones when online dating. But then I met my current partner on POF and we've been together 10 years now.

Cherry picked from a big pie:

Blind date with a guy who was a "property developer" (parents bought him a house which he rented out and lived off the income), his "real love" was being a TV extra, the highlight of which was flying to Portugal for a part in a Madeliene McCann reconstruction.

Date with a guy who tells me five mins in he is going through a divorce and wondered whether he should have cancelled.

I have been told some crackers by male friends.

One was hopping and skipping on the way to a date, and ran his hand along some railings. When he got to the date he realised he had dog shit all over his sleeve, in front of his date.

A colleague went on a first date where the date had suggested wearing onesies. I knew the chances of her following through were slim, but didn't want to interfere. She didn't, he did.

Oh yes ladies. Definitely take sunglasses on a dare just in case! It was rather overcast that day so I had to make an excuse about having very sensitive eyes
Just remembered that he actually contacted me again about a year ago. (The date was probably 5 years ago). Asked if I remembered him and if I was still single. I didn't reply!

Date in a pub through online dating. Man who was a foot shorter and at least 5 years older than description with conjunctivitis goo over his cheeks who patted groped my knee and said he knew what I wanted, a man to spoil me, completely ignoring what I was saying which was I'm tired I'm off in the end I agreed to meet the next day to end him whittling on. Then broke it off by text.

He took me to a post mortem.

Could have been worse.
Could have been a Harvester

Another two dates forgot they had DC:

Date 1, "I'm actually a dad, but I only see her Sundays and she's a baby. Had her as I was having fun with someone, she wasn't planned so I don't say I'm a dad".

Other date: "I have a sad story, I was a brilliant dad and husband, but my ex-wife ran off with our 3 DC" This was proceeded by normal chat about work and I thought this was a joke so started laughing. He explained more about how brilliant he had been and let her have all the money, agreed no contact, she could change their names, he would never search or contact them...very suspicious, as though he had done something very wrong!

I remember a chap who was talking about ”when we get married” within half an hour.

Not mine but a friend of mine...

She met him (London banker type) on Tinder and wasn't sure from their chat about whether she really wanted to meet up with him, so asked if they could just meet for a coffee rather than his suggestion of dinner. When she got to the venue (a naice cafe-bar), she texted him only for him to reply he was next door at a very expensive restaurant, but "It's OK, they do coffee too". As it was already 4pm when they met, when they were finished up with their drinks he suggested they just stay for dinner. My friend gave her apologies - she's a single mum, couldn't afford it - but he insisted on paying for everything.

Shortly after the starter, he went off to the bathroom for a while and came back, in her words, "toasted". He could barely string a sentence together, except to repeatedly mention his ex-wife in terms of "whore", "slut", etc. Complete 180 from the man he had appeared to be. Such was the cost of the meal, my friend stayed on for the main courses which had already been ordered. At which point he went to the bathroom again and, you guessed it, skipped out on her, leaving her with a bill of around £150. He called her at 3am the same night and she woke up to a voicemail of him asking her for a second date, since she had proved she wasn't a "money-grabbing whore" like his ex

Gosh I have so many to choose from but the absolute corker was one where I have a second chance to someone who had already stood me up once.

He was a bit short and snappy from the moment we met but it just got worse when we got to the pub. He was borderline racist to the staff there, had a rant at me about something (I forget what), we were supposed to be having a meal but a few sips into my drink we decided not to bother.

The crowning moment was when he complained the bill was too high, swore and threatened the bar staff and ended up being barred.

Then to top it off as we were driving home he proceeded to phone his friend and slag me off whilst I was still in the car. Then accused me of playing games and said as I got out of the car 'good luck, I think you'll need it'.

Bizarrely a couple of years later he favourited me on the same dating site. I couldn't resist asking him why he'd done it and he had no memory of the date at all and just said he must have been in a bad mood that day.

He turned up with 5 dogs .... not even his dogs he was walking them for a mate .

He ordered a hot chocolate with cream.... had a cream moustache.... I was restraining my giggles, ended up texting my get out to ring me so I could leave.

When i got home he text to say he got a parking ticket as he hadn't read the parking signs properly. I didn't agree to another date

@Inrestlessdreamsiwalkalone not funny on either front, sounds like he had a lucky escape from you

Ah sorry forgot you know me and the guy I met and every intricate detail of ours lives which gives you the pass to cast nasty judgements on me

Well obviously no, but judging on the two examples you’ve given they’re both pretty juvenile reasons to judge someone

Not seeing a guy because he got a parking ticket? Bizarre

Weirdest was probably the guy who was already steaming drunk when I arrived, told me he had ‘forgotten his wallet’ so I would have to pay all night, kept pretending to be deaf when I was mid conversation then started loudly singing Su-Bo songs for all to hear and shouting random names at people.

He text me to apologise the next day and blamed it all on being drunk. I blocked his number.

There was a guy who turned up half an hour late (I wasn’t best pleased) with a black eye covered with sunglasses. He admitted he was hungover so I thought it was going to be the date from Hell but it actually went ok until his friends walked into the bar and he invited them to join us...

Finally the guy who brought me gifts he had wrapped up but told me not to open them until I got home. It was a Sylvia Plath book and a record (I have never owned a record player). I wound him up when he asked me to name places in Asia because he had ‘travelled to every country in Asia’ and I said Iraq. Turns out he meant he’d been to India, China and Japan but was trying to brag fail .

Not me, a friend of mine. I am not nearly robust enough for dating.

He took her to a strip club where he was on first name terms with all the dancers and bought her a lap-dance.

I love the man crying on his date because he missed his dog story.

When I was younger I went on a date with a guy I thought was good looking but I've only seen briefly a couple of times when in a group of friends.
Turned out we both fancied each other as he ended up finding me on Facebook and asking me out.
We only agreed on going for a walk and a wonder around (both young and both broke).

He brought his best friend along...also upon closer inspection he (the date not his friend) had awful smokers teeth with black in them so when it came down to him trying to snog me I swerved and made up an excuse.

Plot twist.... I ended up dating his best friend (a few months later) ..... For about 2 weeks as he seemed really nice and fun initially but ended up being a stage 3 clinger telling me he loved me barely a week into it and would turn up at my house with gifts and texting me all the time.

Also took forever to get over a breakup of a relationship which barely started.

@Beachbodynowayready what's wrong with using a discount? Why would you pay double for something if you didn't have to??

The date who asked me if I'd ride in the boot of his car because he was afraid that my hiccups after ONE glass of champagne may mean I'd be sick on his uphostery.
I caught a cab.

The man on the next table collapsed to the floor, the restaurant asked us to stay in our seats and brought our meals, the paramedics treated him right by our feet. My date asked if it would be rude to point the waiter had forgotten our drinks. That’s when I realised I wanted to slowly shake my head at him forever. Married 12 years in June.

Met a woman at some wine bar place and she picked up the drinks menu and made a B line for some £400+ bottle of champagne and proceeded to order it. I don't even like champagne so ordered a beer and suggested that she maybe a full bottle was unnecessary to which she said rather bluntly that she could see it off no problem and that it was my treat to her. We had barely been there 5 mins but I cancelled the drinks order and walked off.

Worked with him for a year. Liked him for ages. Had sex one night after work 🙈 and then went finally went out on a date. he ordered me a cocktail without asking me what I liked, and then got upset when I didn't like it and couldn't drink it. He paid for cinema tickets, so I offered to pay for the cab home, to which he replied "well I should hope so." Got into bed next to me, stared at the ceiling for a while, and then said "I can't do this" and walked out on me at about 1am. I really, really liked him. Was devastated!
He's still single nearly 20 years later in his early 40s. I can only assume he has continued to be quite the charmer.

A year after my husband left me (and our son who was 10 weeks old) I plucked up the courage to date. Met (what I thought) was a lovely man online, and we agreed to meet for a drink.

It was a lovely hot, sunny day and the divorce diet had worked well, I was wearing pumps and a little sun dress and felt really good.

Firstly, he was 15 mins late.
Secondly, his profile picture must of been taken in a very good light.

We went into the bar, and he asked if I wanted food, I didn't, but he ordered scampi and chips - which stank!

While eating, he told me that he was a teacher, and that he's had an affair with one of his students - but it's ok, as she looked over 16. WTF?!?

I told him that it's irrelevant how old she looked, he was in a position of authority and what he did was wrong, but he was having none of it and started arguing, still whilst chewing the scampi which was flying out of his mouth 🤢

Because of how the tables and chairs were laid out, I couldn't get up and had a bit of a panic, so I 'accidentally' split my pint of coke all over myself, only to realise after that the little sundress was very see through when wet 🙄

I made my excuses and said I had to go to the bathroom and pushed past him. Spent 30 mins in the loo under the hand dryer and called my friend, who knew where I was - she did nothing but laugh at me.

When I came out of the loo, I could see he was still at the table, so i just went.

There was no contact after that, but I do wonder how long he sat there 🤔