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Original poster

If you said to your dh this period is making me feel awful, what would he reply

94 replies

Lardlizard · 28/04/2019 23:29

Mine just goes mmmmmm

OP posts:

MontyBowJangles · 28/04/2019 23:43

Nothing. My dh would say and do nothing.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 28/04/2019 23:45

DP would offer to get me some painkillers and tell me to go and have a warm bath and lie down.

minipie · 28/04/2019 23:46

Mine would say “oh dear poor you” and might offer to get me ibuprofen. Certainly wouldn’t take over any jobs though. He does if I have a migraine but not for period aches. I reckon that’s fair enough, I don’t take over his jobs if he has —manflu— a sore throat.

Ragwort · 28/04/2019 23:47

He’d be rather shocked as I went through the menopause 15 years ago but he would have been sympathetic & offered to get me a hot water bottle/pain killers/suggestion to go back to bed or whatever.

Years ago, before we were married I remember having bad period pains during a long drive somewhere, he stopped at a service station & came back with a box of chocolates and said ‘I just didn’t know what else I could do’. DH is always kind when I feel poorly, not that I do very often but when our DS was young, DH would always encourage me to rest & nap at weekends & he would take our DS off for the day/afternoon.

BertrandRussell · 28/04/2019 23:47

“Mine would offer sympathy, painkillers and a back or tummy rub. He's a star”

No he isn'. He is a normal human being with normal human responses.

ThreeRandomWords · 28/04/2019 23:47

He would roll his eyes and probably leave the room.

DeadDoorpost · 28/04/2019 23:48

Usually gets my hot water bottle and some chocolate if there's any in the house. Will also ask about painkillers and will quite happily rub my back if asked. He'd never really had experience of periods until we got married, besides his mum being really moody. I get moody but also get some serious cramps and they can be debilitating at times. Have even gone to hospital to be checked out and nothing. No signs of anything.

I'm just glad I'm pregnant at the moment so I don't have to deal with them. Only upside to pregnancy really.

Mummaofmytribe · 28/04/2019 23:48

Mine always offers to fetch nurofen and make me a cuppa. He also comes sand checks on me if I have a little lie down which I do on the really awful days. (Appointment with gynaecologist next month. Fingers crossed for help with this)

HollowTalk · 28/04/2019 23:51

@BertrandRussell, never underestimate kindness. Many people are not kind, as this thread shows. So many poor women in shocking relationships.

PickAChew · 28/04/2019 23:51

Mine would just busy himself with the usual stuff he does everyday but might stop to ask me if I'm feeling OK, later on. I'm at that age where periods are a shock event, though. When they were sort of monthly it was a case of "Period! I'm sitting it out before I break something or burn the house down!" and he knew the drill.

rosewater20 · 28/04/2019 23:53

Mine would get me the hot water bottle and would pick up tampons if I needed them. He is great about doing what I ask of him especially when I am not feeling well. But he also doesn't understand how terrible periods can be which is completely acceptable since he has never experienced one!

thegreylady · 28/04/2019 23:53

Mine would have brought a hot water bottle, pain killers and a cop of tea. He is amazing if I am under the weather.

Confuzzlediddled · 28/04/2019 23:57

Mine would ask if I wanted to go to bed and lie down, or did I want a bath. He's a star really

TheBouquets · 28/04/2019 23:57

My DP seems to think copious amounts of tea will cure almost anything. He supplies tea, runs a bath, knows to check that there is plenty of chocolate and does great hugs.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 28/04/2019 23:58

Does the shiftable jobs, gives me ibuprofen, let’s me sleep or cuddle up on the sofa. He’s kind. I wouldn’t say anything if it wasn’t fairly awful though.

MancaroniCheese · 28/04/2019 23:59

for those of you whose OHs are not sympathetic.

DP would offer painkillers, Bath, wine, chocolate, tea or anything he could think to make me feel better.

Come to think of it even XH would have done the same.

It’s just what people do when someone they care about is feeling crappy.

BertrandRussell · 29/04/2019 00:02

“BertrandRussell, never underestimate kindness. Many people are not kind, as this thread shows. So many poor women in shocking relationships“

I don’t underestimate kindness. I just think it’s a minimum requirement.

CoraCoo · 29/04/2019 00:05

Mine would say yeah and nod as if he understands, ha! And then probably say 'I'm making tea' and come back with 2 cups and hope I was cured in that time.

BattenburgIsland · 29/04/2019 00:08

Mine would just say hmmmm.. he probably would offer to find painkillers though and he wouldn't get arsey about me just going to bed. He doesnt express much sympathy but hes supportive in other ways. If I'm ever ill he just takes over doing everything with the children and the house without complaint. He doesnt question it either. Hes just not someone who says much sympathetic stuff.
I think a lot of men are quite practical to be honest... they respond better to you telling them directly what they can do to help.. rather than waiting for them to start saying comforting things... many men just dont say comforting things even if they do feel sorry for you.. I guess they've just not learnt to do that or not had that done to them.
I'm sure there are men out there who are very emotionally articulate and know exactly what to say to comfort someone but in my experience every man I've ever been with would have just said 'oh right' if I told them I was having a bad period lol! And not because they were unkind or unsympathetic, it just wouldn't have occurred to them to what to say!

musicposy · 29/04/2019 00:08

Mine says "well I can't really know how it feels, can I?" or the ever practical "have you taken painkillers?" So I don't get sympathy as such, but I notice then he'll usually bring me a cup of tea. He always thinks I want him to solve things.

MontyBowJangles · 29/04/2019 00:09

@MancaroniCheese your post made me well up. Your dh sounds amazing. Just what I wish for in a partner.

GoatsInATree · 29/04/2019 00:11

Mine would check if I had pain killers or offer to go out to get some, and ask if there was anything else he could do.

Is this a trick question?

Jobea91 · 29/04/2019 00:14

“What do you want to do?/what do you think would help?” Said kindly/with curiosity lol.

RomanyQueen1 · 29/04/2019 00:19

Mine used to look after me I don't get them anymore.
He'd bring me drinks, chocolate, sympathise if I wanted a good cry and would ask if I needed tablets.
I had a really bad time once we hadn't been together long, he got the gp out to me.
I love him very much, even more than when we first met 30 years ago .

StoppinBy · 29/04/2019 00:25

Mine would say 'oh, that's no good' with no emotion whatsoever lol.

He wasn't raised with that sort of talk in his house and he feels uncomfortable as he just doesn't know what to do or say so his default is to say nothing, he actually does want to do 'the right thing' but genuinely has trouble lol. If I asked him to do something directly such as rub my back or get me a heat pack he would definitely do it though.

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