Parents of large age gap DCs- What's their relationship like?

[Cookiedoughforbreakfast]

Hi,

Thinking of adding to our family in the next year or so (hopefully 🤞ss couple, so need to find some sperm first ) and I already have a 12 year old from a previous relationship.

Tbh, I thought I was done with one and tried to accept that she would be an only child, but recently, we've pretty much come to the conclusion that we'd like to try for a baby.

I have to say though, I worry that DD won't have as close a relationship with a sibling with such a big age gap. She'll be a teenager by the time anything happens. I guess it would just be a different relationship though, to ones closer in age, not a worse one.

Also, I'm at a completely different stage in my life now. I am 34 now and feel so much more ready and secure. First time round, I was 22 and still living with my parents and was in a very unhappy relationship. I'm worried I'll feel guilt that I might be a better mum this time round. Does that make sense? Dp thinks that's a really silly reason not to go ahead.

Anyway, I could really waffle on, so I'll leave it there for now and wait to hear your experiences. They'll be much appreciated

TIA

The big age gap in our family is why I have had mine close together whilst I’m still young enough to enjoy some time with my husband hopefully travelling etc when my kids have grown up. My mum and dad are 50 this year and have a 7 year old, they are going to be in to their 60s by the time they are child free and I can see that they haven’t got the same patience they had when me and my sister were younger and they were only in their 20s

I have sister's who are 18 years younger than me.

We've never lived together so I guess we do have a different relationship than I have with my brother who's 8 years younger than me.

They're early teens now whereas I'm in my 30's but we are close, probably more of an Aunt/Neice thing going on.

DH has a brother 18 mo older and a sister 2 years younger and then another brother 15 years younger. It’s just a really different relationship IMO as it’s not a peer relationship with shared memories but more like an uncle/nephew relationship. The three ‘close age kids’ are a tribe who grew up together whereas Little brother doesn’t really remember DH living at home. The youngest bro is an amazing uncle to our dc now though.