Neighbour Nicknames

[Winterfellismyhome]

There was a thread like this a while ago (cant find it) and it made me laugh because me and DP have nicknames for our neighbours too...
Mr Mercedes - drives a mercedes
Nosy Nora - self explanatory really

Anymore?

My 5yo son called out neighbour: 'Stinky bum poo face'. Horrible woman who used to shout swear words at us from her window. Never said to her face!

Mr Bean.
King Kong and Blondie (A couple).
The Yappers (lots of dogs).
The Spitter.
Them in the corner (the bad family in the street).
Cactus man.
Not the only gay in the village (but thinks he is).
No legs parker (abandons his car as close as possible to his house even it means parking on the pavement - aka fuckwit).

We have "Those Twats Next Door" then the other side are rhyming - think "Flo and Joe at Forty Four" type thing.
Then "The Tab House" 'The Drug House" "The Hell's Angels" ( who actually are) "That Fucker Down There" and "That Bastard With The Pick Up That I Swear I Will Fire The Day We Move Out"...
Lord knows what they call us!
We did have "The Nice Polish People" but they have been hounded out and their house is empty.

Strange man
Posh couple
Chris'
Hippies
Rude bastards
Sheep

We have:

Pyjama Lady, never been seen in normal clothes, always pjs, even on the school run.

Arthur over the road, not actually called Arthur, but we never caught his name and now it seems rude to ask. He's a bloke in his early 80s who has a different girlfriend (all elderly) round almost everyday. In his words "I won't be around much longer, better make the most of the ladies".

Nice old couple down the road, they kindly offer to take in parcels for neighbours, bake cakes, share garden cuttings and are just generally lovely. DH reckons they're the heads of a mafia group!

Fireman Sam, because he's a fireman
Mr and Mrs Nobody, who we thought spoke to no one but are actually really nice and chatty.
Them at the show house, simply because they bought the show house
The drug dealer.
The ignorant bastards.
Todd and Rod, after the Flanders kids in The Simpsons as they have very religious parents.
The Monk, because of his hair style.
Smokes-a-lot, because she's never seen without a cigarette.
Stickerman, he has a business making inspirational quote wall stickers.

Love all these! We have:
The lumps
Council
Misery
The Germans (who I don't think actually are)
Jeep man
Tennis man
Corsas
Effing Jeff
Fritzl (bad taste I know but it's stuck)
and the loud fiesta t**t

We have:
Crazy cat lady - loads of cats
Wall man - made a song and dance about our partition wall being damaged
Mini man - drives a mini
Man bear - she has a really really deep voice
The copper.
Bush family - they have a bush growing up the side of their house and for some reason it really bothers DH
Labradoodle- lovely lady owns a labradoodle
And dick head - thinks he owns the street always has really loud cars and parties

The lovely boys
Swiss Anne
Blondie (male)
The tanner
Murphy’s (dog) mum
The food bin woman - long complicated drama from years ago mostly forgotten but name stuck.
Spice girl (not for good reason - worrying)
You tuber
High court judge(he actually is one but can’t remember his name)
magwitch (name play)
‘Good looking older guy’
Noisy house (to describe any of them)
Nick nack (name play)
The dealer
Guy with bike
Plus lots whose names I do know!

Andy Capp & Flo
Creepy name
Ian Gillan
Mr Ed
Buzz Lightyear
The shoplifter
Lightfingered Name
Marigold ( bloke had ocd and wouldn’t touch a thing unless he had gloves on)
Nosy old woman

'clack-feet' -single woman who always wears high heels, click-clack down the road

'the glums' -young couple we never see smile or talk to each other

'the blondes' - he's blond (more grey now) she once (probably 15 yrs ago!) had blond highlights put in her dark hair, for about 6 weeks

'the religious freaks' -sent us a christmas card with the holy family depicted - about 20 yrs ago - all other cards have been generic robins snowy scenes etc, (disclaimer -I attend church regulary, am a pastoral visitor and am very involved in my church)

'windy miller' - the runner who does stretching exercises including windmilling his arms after every run, directly opposite our front windows

'clatter-clatter-clatter' -the angry man who complains about kids playing on their skateboards and scooters - "all i hear is clatter clatter clatter!" -he also complains that all the local cats shit in his garden, which has led to us calling any kind of shit 'clatter'

'jenny's mam' -the lady who had a little old dog called jenny, 30+ years ago, when we moved in, and has had a couple of other dogs since then, but still known for little jenny

'the bloody [insert real surname here]s ' - mr & mrs perfect, our next door neighbours, who know every thing about everybody, and spout their superiority over everyone at all possible opportunities [ they are actually low-grade brexiteer, anti-education, rabid 'anti-trees-in-the-street-cos -the sap-spoils-our-cars-and-the-birds-shit-ruins-the-paint-work' knobbers .... and breathe!...

goodness knows what our nickname is -probably the judgemental twats

Next door we have 'the swingers' - they're lovely, overally helpful and always so cheery. We joke that they must have a plan as nobody can be that nice. We once joked that we're going to go over one day and be asked to put the keys in the bowl.

Australia (accompanied by circling of breasts gesture🤣)- they aren't Australian
The witch
65 they dont live at number 65
Same house
The viking-looks nothing like one and isn't Scandinavian
Man in the
middle
Tardis
New people- who arent new.
Little witch

Gnome man
Granny clampett
Ginger kid's mum
Selfish bastards
The boy racers

Leaf collecting man (collects leaves in the autumn from the road for making compost)
Fat dog family (had very obese dog)
Pyjamas people (does everything dressed in pj's including gardening, chatting to neighbours etc)
Cat thief man and woman (enticed our cat away and stole him when we moved in)
Bag lady (paranoid, strange single middle aged lady that never opens curtains/blinds/windows)

We have
'Bill'- we don't know his name. He looks like Bill from Guess Who.
'Chinese Lady'- we are not facist in any way. She just looks Oriental.
'Onion Lady'- she once dropped her bag and it was full of onions rolling down the road.
'Strange woman on corner'- self explanatory.

Racist!

The Hippy - A lady who is in no way a hippy, but just ever so slightly more hippy-ish than the usual neighbour.

Mine husband - a lady who isn't German, but lived there for awhile and refers to her husband as 'mine husband'.... They have now become the mine husband family.

Bechamel Boy- my dad referred to a young son of a neighbour as this.... I have no explanation apart for maybe it was because he was pale?

Vicky-The dog was called Vicky, so the whole neighbour family became a relative of vicky, so vickys dad or vickys mum.

Cockle shell Bay.... An old guy who rode a bike in short shorts... No idea of the meaning behind it.... Maybe he looked like he was ready for a day at the beach.

Mrs Patterson.... A neighbour that looked a bit like waynetta from Harry Enfield.... Instead of calling her Waynetta as normal people would, we called her Mrs Patterson which was the name of Kevin the teenagers mum as said by Kathy Burke playing Perry.... Complicated I know.

Porsche twat. Although recently gotten to know him a little better and he's not such a twat after all

There's trendy couple next door and the lovely family too. Oh and Cat woman, who used to go up and down the road asking after her awesome cat, who is the biggest attention seeker ever. Always after strokes from everyone. But now she got a more indoorsy cat we don't see her anymore.

The neighbours used to call my step mother

‘Terri-ten-tone-turtlebum

I forgot one. The dog Mum, she has two lovely dogs and my son called her the dog Mum, which stuck.

Years ago we had neighbours (with thin walls and adjoining bedrooms) that we called The Everything Everythings because he used to shout 'EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!' at moments of... erm... passion. Which was quite niche. Never actually knew their real names at all but who needs a real name when you have a distinctive habit like that?!

Flaps up (clip on sunglasses)
Baden Powell (always on scout trips)
Jabba (obvious)
Monkey man (like Mickey from League or Gentlemen)

Knobhead
Old knobhead (knobheads mother)
Nice Carol
That gold-digger on the corner (she used to be with fat Max Branning but she binned him)
Her the other side (she’s nice but I’ve only seen her once every 12 months)
Taxi driver with his shitting cats
The hillbillies auntie

at Everything Everything.

We also have "no legs" when our neighbours daughter turns up. Her car has to be parked as close as possible to the house, sticks out onto the road by yards (& she pavement parks)