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Original poster

Why does my baby wake so much? I'm losing my mind and need help.

39 replies

orangesO · 25/04/2019 02:17

I don't know what to do. I am at my wits end. I haven't slept longer than 2 hours straight in 15m. DS wakes so so many times. I don't know why. The sleep deprivation is killing me. I am crying here because he's just woken up for the 5 time in 4 hours. I cannot sleep. I cannot function. I've left him with dh whilst I try to rest in the other room but I can still hear him. Why does he do this?

I can't sleep train him. He wakes up everytime I just put him down in the cot. He screams and screams.I cannot cope. I regret having him. He has turned my life into a complete hell.

I cosleep and bf and don't know if that's the problem. I have never felt so so ill from sheer exhaustion.

OP posts:
Dandelion89 · 25/04/2019 02:29

I'm up with my 7 month old who does the same so I've no advice. It's awful, especially if your at work or have other commitments during the day. Do you have family who can help? Big hugs to you x

Daffodil2018 · 25/04/2019 02:30

You poor thing. Sleep deprivation is torture.

Does your baby ever take a bottle? Could someone else take him overnight for you to give you a break?

Has he been checked for allergies/reflux?

It will get better and you are doing a great job. I don’t know anything about sleep training but hopefully someone who does will be along!

Weenurse · 25/04/2019 02:34

Maybe try changing to bottle feeding by Dad.
Then Dad gets up to settle for a few nights.
We did bath, bottle and storey all by Dad then bed.
Night light and heating at a comfortable level.
Mine liked sleep sacks as well.
Good luck

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Original poster
orangesO · 25/04/2019 02:49

He won't drink from a bottle. I don't know what to do. He's awake again.

OP posts:
Weenurse · 25/04/2019 02:55

Does he take a sippy cup? Do you normally do the feed and settle?
You need to change patterns and behaviour. You may need to resort to going away for a few days so you can’t do the settling.
We got around this by Dad doing all the settling when I stopped breast feeding.
There was tears for about a week, then became the new norm.
Week from hell though!

Weenurse · 25/04/2019 02:55

What about sleep school?

BelulahBlanca · 25/04/2019 02:57

You have my sympathy OP. I have just started a sleeping program with DD and it has changed my life. Saying that she’s in bed with me now- but that’s more because I missed her.

Does DS spend anytime in his cot during the day? I started by just sticking DD in while I was getting dressed etc. The first couple of times she fussed but each time got better.

PenelopeFlintstone · 25/04/2019 02:57

Will he take a dummy? Did you mean 15 months? Shock You poor thing.

BelulahBlanca · 25/04/2019 03:02

Sorry OP just seen you cosleep. I coslept for six months but having her with me 24/7 was killing me. Getting her a cot was such a positive change for us.

GlamGiraffe · 25/04/2019 03:02

Stop co sleeping.its quite possibly disturbing baby. It isn't for every baby. Some children wake at every rustle and creak. Some babies can smell you so are constantly aware of the lure of mums milk. A friend told me she only overcame the exact same problem when she started sleeping on a lilo downstairs with doors closed. I know it's not what you want but it might be your salvation and sanity?get dad yo do botyle feed at night and stay clear for a couple of nights.see if it works. Also are you sure the baby is completely winded before you lie him straight back down at night or doesn't have any silent reflux?

Original poster
orangesO · 25/04/2019 03:03

He doesn't like the taste of milk. He won't take a dummy either.

Weenurse what is sleep school?

BelulahBlanca what sleep program have you done?

OP posts:
WhenZogateSuperworm · 25/04/2019 03:04

Have you tried a sleep consultant? After 15 months you really need some help.

My eldest was similar. It took until he was 20 months before he started sleeping through. I wish we had got some expert advice much earlier rather than going it alone and hoping it would sort itself out.

BelulahBlanca · 25/04/2019 03:23

This is the cover. It is divided into months so you can start at any point. I can email you the PDF. It has honestly changed my life.

BelulahBlanca · 25/04/2019 03:25

Forgot the pic

Why does my baby wake so much? I'm losing my mind and need help.
Caterina99 · 25/04/2019 05:32

I have major sympathy for you. My DD is 18m, and whilst she was never as bad as that, she only just started sleeping through consistently and I realized how much better I feel with undisturbed sleep. It is torture.

How is he getting to sleep at night? In an ideal world he should fall asleep as he would stay asleep all night. So alone in his cot (or however you want him to sleep). Then when he wakes up, as is normal, everything is the same as he just rolls over and goes back to sleep. Obviously saying that is easy and getting to that point is the challenge, but presumably he’s waking up to bf as he needs that comfort so he can fall back asleep? How and when is he napping? My kids always slept worse when overtired from a crap nap day.

Id probably hire a sleep consultant personally. And start weaning asap.But that’s just me. Sleep is too important to all of you to not sort this out

RedCrab · 25/04/2019 07:45

Oh OP, massive sympathy. I have three DC and two were terrible sleepers. My two year old and four year old still don’t sleep through. Massive sympathy. All you need is a few good nights sleep to feel better. It’s so hard.

One thing I’ve been trying with all of them is magnesium to help calm through the night. Does tentatively seem to make a difference but your baby might be too young right now.

@BelulahBlanca if you don’t mind, I’d be very interested in that sleep PDF! I would kill for a good nights sleep but I am too tired to work out how to manage it!

Zoobedoo · 25/04/2019 07:54

Co sleeping didn't work for us, we kept waking each other up and I was miserable. Dd starting sleeping better in her own cot and slept completely through the night when I night weaned her (replaced feeds with sippy cup of water). I used Little Ones sleep guide to learn to stop feeding her to sleep. Totally sympathise, it's proper torture.

RedCrab · 25/04/2019 07:56

Oh actually, can be given from one year oldnaturalcalm.ca/toddlers-to-teens-calmer-kids-who-sleep-like-babies/

It’s not stopped my two youngest from waking completely but it’s definitely improved the amount of wakings. And I think generally, maybe a magnesium supplement is probably a good thing anyway.

I also work and know that I need to sort their sleep out but I cannot bear the work involved because it means less sleep to begin with!

WizzyBee · 25/04/2019 08:04

Could you put an open sided cot or small bed next to your bed so that the baby is near but not right in bed with you?
I would get dad to give only water during the night from a sippy cup or sports bottle or whatever you use for drinking water during the day.

It is hell when you are sleep deprived.

MustardScreams · 25/04/2019 08:06

Dd was like this, it nearly broke me.

What worked for us was stopping co-sleeping. I put dd in her cot for a nap one day and laid down in her room and ignored her. She could see me and knew she was safe, but she obviously was furious that I wasn’t picking her up! It took 45 mins but she went to sleep.

I continued doing that for all naps and sleeps for about a week, where I could then put her in her cot, say night night and she would just fall asleep. She still woke once a night or so, but was so easy to put back down.

I know you day you can sleep train, but if he can see you it may work? I honestly thought it never would, but it did! And it’s made such a huge difference. Flowers for you.

Weenurse · 25/04/2019 08:17

In Australia you can get referred to a sleep consultant and booked into sleep school. It is a program where you stay overnight and they assist you with techniques to get baby to sleep.
Sometimes requires more than one stay.
If he doesn’t like milk, maybe a toddler formula?

Weenurse · 25/04/2019 08:19

In my DD2 baby book, where it says ‘I first slept through the night.....’ I have written, ‘at 20months, we live in hope’.
She was 2.
Good luck

ChocolateRaisin · 25/04/2019 08:20

OP, my dd is 17 months and she was exactly the same as yours for the first 16 months. She screamed all day because she was exhausted, woke at least every hour at night, often more and would be awake for hours at a time through the night on top of that. I had to do all bedtimes and nightwakes as she would not settle at all for my husband. I was exhausted, miserable and felt like I’d ruined my life having her. We were co-sleeping and bf. The thought of sleep training horrified me and I thought she would scream for hours and that it would never work.

We contacted a sleep consultant for help because I honestly wasn’t coping and was ready to walk out. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s been life changing. She was never left to cry, and the crying was absolutely minimal. She is now in her own room, does not feed to sleep and within 3 days was sleeping through the night. DH is able to put her to bed no problem now.

I completely understand where you are, it’s torturous and awful. It honestly doesn’t have to be like this though, it can change. Feel free to pm me and I can point you in the direction of the consultant I used or I’m sure you can find someone. It’s not expensive considering how life changing it is imo.

SlappingJoffrey · 25/04/2019 08:31

At 15 months, he doesn't actually need to drink milk anyway, so him not liking the taste shouldn't matter. NHS advice is that they can have a couple of portions a day of dairy food instead.

wendz86 · 25/04/2019 08:43

I would stop bfing during the night. Both mine slept a lot better when I stopped . You can still feed him during day / before bed .