Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Will or won’t you and your dh retire at the same time ? And how do you feel about that ?

62 replies

Lardlizard · 24/04/2019 14:35

Just been chatting to a bloke who popped into town to visit his wife a t work
He’s retired and I thought hmmm that can’t be nice to be the own still at work when your other half is retired
But then you can’t help your age I guess

OP posts:

WhoAteMyNuts · 24/04/2019 14:38

The plan is to retire at the same time but we only have a couple of years between us.

However, if one of us was too ill to continuing working and needed to retire early or the other wanted to work after our planned retirement age then we may end up with one of us at home with and other at work.

thereinmadnesslies · 24/04/2019 14:41

DH is 20yrs older than me, so he will definitely retire first. It’s a fact and I can’t change it. I think there will be some initial friction at the changing roles (eg I would expect him to do more of the wifework if he’s at home and I’m at work all day). But I’m at a different point in my career to him and I don’t feel ready to stop working any time soon.

ExpletiveDelighted · 24/04/2019 14:43

We're the same age so could retire at the same time, we've never really discussed it but I could easily imagine one retired one still working.

EvaHarknessRose · 24/04/2019 14:47

I am having a year off when he retires 😁

soulrunner · 24/04/2019 14:50

Same age. DH is retiring at 50 ( although he will probably do something or other on a pt basis). I don’t want to retire till I’m 70 as I can’t shake the conviction that I’ll make old bones and I dont want too long at the end. I’m happy he’s retiring as we had kids lateish so he can deal with puberty and gcse coursework ( if that still exists).

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/04/2019 14:50

I imagine DH will retire first. He's a bit older but also I love my job and he just likes his. I read somewhere it's good to make small incremental changes. So no, everyone giving up their job at the same time isn't great.

soulrunner · 24/04/2019 14:51

Or one of you needs to find a very time consuming hobby immediately

JudgeRindersMinder · 24/04/2019 14:53

All going well I’ll retire at 55. We hadn’t really spoken about dh retiring till he recently piped up that when I’m 55 he’ll be 60 amd would like to retire then....that wasn’t part of my master plan!!!! I want some peace 😂

Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt · 24/04/2019 14:55

I stopped going out to work years ago. I do a variety of other stuff but based at home. DH was working from home but away a lot. He went half-time and then even more part-time and that graduation has worked well.

Currently trying to transfer wifework onto him, which is ok but it's stressing him out a bit...

YonWeeLassie · 24/04/2019 14:56

There are 8 years between us. DH retired at 57 and I was still working albeit part time. We still had youngish DC so he did all the running around. I retired completely at 59.
It means you very seldom get the house to yourself......

maras2 · 24/04/2019 14:56

I retired 7 years before DH
I had ill health and he was topping up his pension pot.
It worked well for us as the mortgage was paid off and the kids 'left home' . I would do my own thing in the day and meet him from work to eat out or just pop into the local for a pint.We live and worked in our City centre.
He's been retired for a few years now and every day is a holiday.
We were able to give our kids and DGC's a couple of days of free child care which was lovely and now they are at school we still fill our days.DH is a volunteer tour guide I'm a lazy bugger so Mumsnet, read, listen to radio and watch telly.
We enjoy each other's company, still, after 50 years without living in each other's pockets. Life is good

junebirthdaygirl · 24/04/2019 14:56

My dh is retired now for 3 years. I will retire I'm about 2 years. It suits us fine. I love my job and so am not jealous of him. He does a lot more cooking and cleaning . Also l have long holidays so we can go away together. Suits me perfectly. I can live like this for a long time

Original poster

Lardlizard · 24/04/2019 14:57

Therein wow that’s quite a gap to navigate esp when we all get older
Are you worried about it or just take it as it comes

OP posts:

Happyspud · 24/04/2019 15:01

This is a very good question! DH is 8 yrs older than me. We are both good earners but both self employed so somewhat unpredictable. Our kids are still little but DH is in his mid 40’s. I’d like him to semi retire at 55. He may or may not be a huge earner by then and if we can afford it, it would be good for him to stop the horrific hours he does and cherry pick the work he likes while increasing his extra curricular activities at the same time again. I have a very comfortable life despite work so if things continue I’d probably just start taking more holidays from my 50’s.

user1498572889 · 24/04/2019 15:15

My husband retires in may I will still be working full time. I couldnt retire now as I would be too bored. I know he will enjoy sitting on his bum all day or should I say pottering in the garden 😂. I’ve told him it’s now his turn to do all the cooking housework ironing shopping etc. I am quite looking forward to coming home from work and doing nothing. I have to say he isn’t old he will only just have turned 60.

Dowser · 24/04/2019 15:21

My dh retired at 57
He’s been retired 9 years now and loves it
I was at home anyway caring for two relatives with dementia
It works really well for us
We have a Caravan where we stay 4 nights a week and then three at home when we see my kids and grandkids
We need to sort the garden out in the next 2 days before we are off again

mydogisthebest · 24/04/2019 15:24

I will be 65 this year. I retired 2 years ago because of ill health. I don't get my pension until next year and am not entitled to any benefits.

DH is 62 and won't retire until he is old enough to get his state pension

EvilDog · 24/04/2019 15:25

Dh is 9 years older than me and no way would I want to retire early to match him. I love him but my god I Can think of nothing worse than having the opportunity to spend 24/7 with him.

OllyBJolly · 24/04/2019 15:26

DH is 10 years younger but will retire before me. He works for a major corporate and has a great pension and he lives very frugally unlike me

I've run my own business for years and have minimal pension. I don't think I'll ever retire totally. I love what I do and just hope my health will allow me to keep working. My business partner is 75 and no signs of him wanting to chuck it.

mydogisthebest · 24/04/2019 15:27

I meant to say DH likes his job but he would love to be able to retire. He tries to work only 3 days a week (he is self employed).

I would love him to be home with me

thereinmadnesslies · 24/04/2019 15:52

Lardlizard - just taking it as it comes. DH seems younger than his age so hopefully it will continue. He also has a part time side hustle / hobby that pays well so I think he will continue to do that beyond retirement, so it’s not like he will be sitting at home all day.

ticketsonsalenow · 24/04/2019 16:44

DH is 8 years older than me and retires soon. If it weren't for the change in pensionable age for women, I would have been due to retire in three years time. I now have to work eight more years after that, so another eleven years altogether. By the time I retire, DH will be 76.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 24/04/2019 16:55

I went part time, then even more part time, then we moved and I retired. DH is self employed and always has been and needs to carry on working, although he could retire. He works part time and pretty much when he chooses.

I’ve got other interests and will carry on with those for as long as I am able. He enjoys diy stuff and car stuff, so he’ll fill his time.

corythatwas · 24/04/2019 18:11

Dh is already looking forward to his retirement- I started my career late, spent time as a carer, and am desperate to cling on to my job for as long as I can. He will simply have to amuse himself without me.

Giggorata · 24/04/2019 19:27

DH retired several years ago and I work full time. I am not due to retire for a couple of years yet, thanks to the government...
He does the cooking, dogs, firewood, washing etc and has also got himself a part time job. He is reluctant to do actual house cleaning, therefore he employs our cleaner.
It has always been the bone of contention, even when both or neither of us was at work. I would basically have to insist he did his share. When I retire, I hope we can still have a cleaner, or else I will have to kill him.
Apart from that, we can always happily spend time together on mutual interests or just talking, plus we have hobbies and interests of our own, so we won't get joined at the hip..

Flip

1 2 3