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Original poster

What age did you leave home?

74 replies

balloonyellow · 21/04/2019 13:02

Since I’ve had my first child, I’ve been feeling a bit resentful towards my own parents. My NarcM kicked me out as they didn’t like my partner at the time (I was 17). My partner was an average guy, had a job etc. No wrongdoings, NarcM simply didn’t like me spending so much time with someone else. Since then I’ve never returned. I never lived with my DF either as he moved across the country when I was a baby. Ironically they both have partners who I don’t get on with. They met when I was 14+ so not step parents to me.

Anyway, sorry for the long intro! Most of my peers and colleagues left home around 21-25. They were allowed to save for house deposits, cars etc. I feel sad that I didn’t get that advantage but I’m going to channel that into supporting my DD more than my own parents did. What about you?

OP posts:
6demandingchildren · 21/04/2019 13:04

I was 15, my mum didn't really care and my dad didn't know and when he did he never offered me a room in his house. Both my parents have changed now.

NotMyUsualTopBilling · 21/04/2019 13:05
Sarahlou63 · 21/04/2019 13:06

I was 17 - didn't feel too young, I had a job and a car (a 1972 Vauxhall Viva!) and was ready to take on the world!

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MollyYouInDangerGirl · 21/04/2019 13:07

I lived away from home age 18-20 for uni, moved home for my 3rd year of uni and commuted, then fully moved out when I was 22

Original poster
balloonyellow · 21/04/2019 13:07

That’s awful 6Sad It’s good that they’ve changed now though! Have you been able to rebuild a relationship with them? I’m struggling with mine, been NC for months but want to try for the sake of DD as she’s besotted and only small

OP posts:
joyfullittlehippo · 21/04/2019 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aimily · 21/04/2019 13:09

I'm like most of your friends, I moved out just before my 21st birthday first time, and then was back within 7 months as relationship broke down. Was out again at 23.

vegpatch · 21/04/2019 13:10

Also 16 as parents were shit and alcoholics.
I definitely see what a huge advantage peers who were able to stay at home until early/ mid 20s had, with stuff like deposits/ learning to drive etc. as well as emotional support.
My eldest DC stayed at home through uni and we are continuing to support him through his MA. Second one is still at home at 18 and plans to travel for a few years using home as a base.
Our plan is to support all 3 of them for as long as we can so they can have the advantages we didn't (ie education/ travel/ saving).
The cycle of shit that I grew up with has to stop somewhere.

DramaAlpaca · 21/04/2019 13:11

18, to go to uni. I went back briefly after graduating then escaped again as soon as I could. As for my DC, DS21 is still living at home, the older two are still coming & going, depending on what they are doing, and will have a home with us as long as they need it.

SpamChaudFroid · 21/04/2019 13:11

16, as were my siblings. Narc mother and enabler father here too. She moved out whist having an affair and would only move back in with my father/rest of family if he kicked my eldest DSis out.

MaverickSnoopy · 21/04/2019 13:11

I was 24. Stayed at home for uni. I felt at the time I had stayed at home a long time as most of my friends had moved out by 19 or 20. I didn't even use it to save - just got into a bit of debt, but then cleared it within a year of leaving home once I discovered the real world.

Geekster1963 · 21/04/2019 13:12

21 when I started my nurse training. I went home every weekend to start with until I made some good friends, I never lived at home again.

Youngandfree · 21/04/2019 13:13

Left at 18 to go to university... spent one summer in those 3 years at home working and then I went traveling for a year and a half, then I came home for a summer to work, then I left again to go to uk to university again and never moved back home again. So practically left at 18...

pickledparsnip · 21/04/2019 13:13
  1. I was absolutely desperate to move out, desperate for some independence. Didn't have a great relationship with my family at the time, but do now, probably because I left.
fleshmarketclose · 21/04/2019 13:15

Eighteen, got a place with bf at the time, never went home when the relationship broke down. My own dc left at 23, 24 and 27, all of them left to live alone rather than with a partner though.

workshyfop · 21/04/2019 13:16

18 to go to uni. I didn’t move back afterwards. Got a job and rented a flat.

Lungelady · 21/04/2019 13:17
  1. Went to uni and never went back to hometown. That was 40 years ago.
pickledparsnip · 21/04/2019 13:18

I have zero regrets about moving out so young. It was the best thing for me, and for everyone else. Certainly never occurred to me that I could stay and save for a house deposit. Wouldn't have stopped me going though . Never did save up for that deposit and probably won't ever own, but am happy. Poor but happy.

Also passed my driving test last year at 34. Better late than never!

I

Yabadabadont · 21/04/2019 13:18
  1. I moved across the country
JudyDenchsBloomers · 21/04/2019 13:20

18 to go to university, got a job afterwards then a house share with friends. Never went back.

AdamantEve · 21/04/2019 13:22
  1. Can’t imagine my own DC moving out so young so hopefully history won’t repeat!
SushiTrain · 21/04/2019 13:25

I was 15..bunked with mates at first to get out of the situ at home&worked nights&weekends thru myGCSEs- paid cash in hand..then managed to get income support&HB thru Alevels&went on to uni,got a grant&finally emigrated overseasNC with parents,were chronic alcoholics..Could've hindered me but feel that being so young/independent thru early childhood set me up well for life&was all part of my education.No regrets or bitter feelings..Just fortunate i ended up where i am.

formerbabe · 21/04/2019 13:25

Early twenties but not out of choice...my remaining parent had died

ReginaGeorgeous · 21/04/2019 13:27
  1. I stayed living at home while I was at uni. It was just me and my mum for the last couple of years I lived at home, we were like roommates. Moved from my mums into the house I bought with my now DH
Welliesandpyjamas · 21/04/2019 13:28

18 to go to uni. Rented with now DH after graduating until we got our first mortgage in mid twenties.

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