Feeling conflicted - hate crime, really?

[Jux]

I have ms and use a mobility scooter to do local shopping, as I can't walk very far. Today I was with dh, we'd finished the shopping when we passed a cafe with tables out on the pavement where we decided to have a drink. DH went in to order while I parked up. I had to wait a little while as an elderly chap with a mobility scooter was just leaving and I intended to use the same space. All fine and good, I parked up after gent had gone and was getting myself off the scooter to join dh at the table next to where I'd parked.

A chap from the shop next door came out and went into the cafe, then came out with the cafe owner who asked me to park elsewhere as the chap from the shop - he's standing right in front of me - didn't like people parking there. I was a bit gobsmacked but also a bit cross because he had walked right past me and not said a word, so I asked him why he hadn't spoken to me, said I spoke English and generally understood the language (it's my native language after all) so why hadn't he just spoken to me. He made excuses - the cafe owner hadn't liked him speaking directly to the previous customer basically. Anyway I moved.

The cafe owners were so upset by it, but my dh was furious. We have lived here nearly 15 years, I have parked that scooter, and the previous one, outside pretty well every shop in the high street and no one has had a word to say about it. I don't block doorways, I don't block the pavements, I don't get in people's way.

About half way through our drinks, the next door shop owner came out again and started apologising, by saying "I used to have friends with ms, I have employed people with ms..." at which I did feel aa little angry so said thatwhat he was saying was exactly the same as "I can't possibly be racist, I have a black friend" and then I said "just go away please". DH also told him that he was the only person in over 10 years who'd pbjected to my parking outside their shop and he hoped the man was ashamed. Thus it ended; we finished out drinks and went home.

DH was still so angry he was shaking. He rang the police. They say it was a hate crime and want us to go to the station to make a statement, after which they'll go and talk to the man.

My dilemma is that actually, moving the scooter wasn't hard for me to do. Luckily the shop on the other side was closed so I parked in fromt of there - when it's open I won't be able to do that as they put tons of stuff on the pavement when they're open. Today it wasn't a problem. So I'm inclined to leave it.

BUT the old man who was there before me did have a problem, and left. That's not right so maybe I should make a statement and strike a note for his right to visit the cafe.

And then, the shop owner - trade isn't that great where we live, many people are on the breadline in this town. You can still see what is in his window when there's a scooter parked, it's a little less easy but the difference is not great. He has a whole other window on the other side of his door.

DH gets a bit wound up if he thinks I'm being snubbed or hurt because of my disability, and sometimes goes a bit further than I would have on my own. DD is appalled that anyone in the town (many, many old people and many disabled people using various walking aids), and she is absolutely certain about this hate crime which has been performed against me. Yes, police, go as far as you can mum......

So, for me, it's a pretty small thing which I would normally forget as soon as it's over, but on principle it's outrageous.

I am really struggling, and don't know what to do. Cops or not?

I know that I have a responsibility too. My disability is no one's fault but how I deal with it affects other people and as a member of society it is up to me to minimise negative aspects of that as much as I can
Really do you? Do you actually realise what you're saying here? You are saying its my fault i'm not able bodied so i must keep out of the way of able bodied people because i'm such an inconvience to society. That is my responsablity that no one is put out by this thing i have no control over as ots my fault.

Here you go OP here's a question for you so shoukd it have been a seemingly able bodied person leaning against mans shop window before going in to the cafe do you supose shop keeper would have come out to talk to the cafe owner??? How many of the able bodied cafe patrons do you reckon stop out side his shop to decide wether tyeir going to the cafe. Does he complain to the cafe owner about them too how many able bodied people just stand on the pavement outside his shop chatting blocking the pavement and actually causing more of an inconvienxe to society than your neatly parked scooter. Does he come running out to stop them too???

don't want to be 'that' disabled person who cries unfair and discrimination at every opportunity, nor do I want to play the victim as I am not one and this is why disablity hate incidents/crime is so under reported and why disablity discrimation is so "acceptable" as the comments on this thread and else where on this forum often demostrate . People with disablities go oh mustn't complain, its just life, its just what happens. I don't want to be that person. So its got away witj time and time again

Why does the shop owner have the right to move people? Does he own the street?

I'm not sure about this. As a mobility scooter user you should be able to have access to shops and cafés like everyone else, of course.

What I'm wondering is how much the café takes over the street in front of the shop. Maybe the shop keeper thinks buggies and scooters belonging to the café clients should not infringe on his space but stay within the café outside space. I don't think that would be a hate crime. I also would understand why he'd speak directly to the cafe owner in these circumstances. This probably affects his business every day in good weather. It would be the same if people moved tables and chairs outside the shop.

Maybe the cafe should think about providing a dedicated space for mobility scooters but they probably won't because they want to maximise their outside seating without a thought to their neighbours.

I'd like to add it isn't my intention to make excuses for people to hassle disabled people and make their lives more difficult. The guy could have just been a hateful arse. I would put money on him hating his neighbour more than a random woman who just wanted a cuppa and happens to have MS.

I didn't mean your writing was black and white but that the MN approach can be so. Sorry if I wasn't clear. Quite a thought provoking thread actually.

And I imagine it can get very annoying if you are a shopkeeper and the cafe customers spill out all over the pavement and obstruct/obscure your shopfront. Out local fishmonger has a strict but jokey "no loitering" type notice in their window as the proliferation of buggies, bicycles, chatting groups and leaning people visiting the cafe next door is more than just an annoyance.

Jux

I think that you, Tunnockswafer and others are correct when you say that it is an on going issue between the two shop keepers and you got caught up in the crossfire.

IMHO the arse is the cafe owner as they are not only causing the issue but are able to lay the blame on the shop next door and look good themselves.

I could be wrong in also thinking that having anything outside his shop requires a licence but also anything obstructing the pavement could also affect his insurance. I was told this by a shopkeeper so I don't know if its true.

Naughttothreaa, wow. Of course I have personal responsibility for my own impact on what and who is around me. Yes, so do you and so does everyone else, each and every one of us. That's just basic.

I expect he would get pissed off if a load of cafe customers or hany other group of people mucked about outside his shop, getting in the way of his customers and obscuring his windows from passing trade. I imagine he would ask them to move to the cafe or ask the cafe owner to get her customers to stay in her space. I can't really answer as I live in a rather sleepy town and we don't tend to have unruly groups hanging about outside cafes at all. The worst crowding we get is when the bus is due (about once an hour). We do get clusters, but they're always polite and apologetic if they're in the way and they just move.

At a guess, noisy crowds hanging about blocking pavements get moved by the Community Police Officer.

In fact I'll have to sleep on the rest of your post as I'm not actually sure and don't want to piss you off more.

I can say with absolute conviction that no, you are not an inconvenience, you should not stay in, and that NO NO NO it's not your fault.

Were you blocking access to his shop in anyway? If parked outside the cafe, why would he have felt the need to tell you to move? I'd say hate crime is a tad strong, although he does sound like he acted like an arse.

I do not park in such a way as to block access. Anywhere.

Realistically, a little pavement scooter is not going to be blocking much of his window is it? The man had a choice whether to be an arse about it or not and he chose to be an arse.

I was once out on my scooter in York (bit of a nightmare anyway with cobbles and access) and out of nowhere the heavens just opened; it was really monsoon like. DH and I whipped into the covered entrance of a posh ladies clothes shop until it eased off. We weren’t blocking the entry at all. After about a minute a woman came out and asked us to move. We were obviously lowering the tone. I was mortified but DH basically laughed at her. We went when the rain stopped. No one had even walked past the shop in the time we were sheltering.

Some people are just cunts. Best not to validate them.