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Original poster

What constitutes a large family for you?

74 replies

Enko · 17/04/2019 15:39

I have 4 children and I am often told what a large family I have.

However I know many with 4 children several with 5 and some with 6 8 and 10 children so for me I feel that our family is above average but not large.

I put this question on a facebook forum I am on for families with 4 or more children. I thought it could be fun to see what MN people feel too.

OP posts:

gamerwidow · 18/04/2019 10:08

When the ONS Publish family size stats they look at 1 child, 2 children and 3+

Anything in the 3+ section is larger than average and represents a tiny proportion of UK families.

Large families tend to know other large families so it stops feeling unusual but 3+ is not the norm.

That’s not to say it’s wrong or there is any moral judgement attached just that it’s against the current norm.

caperplips · 18/04/2019 13:08

3 or more

PH03b3 · 18/04/2019 13:12

I feel the large family small family mindset comes from house prices so for example if you live in rural Lincolnshire a 5 bed is the price of a 2 bed in say Kent so if in lincs somebody had 5 kids to me it'd be big family in Kent massive.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

StillMedusa · 18/04/2019 15:57

4 here and it doesn't feel large to me!
However now one has moved out and two of my kids' partners have moved in (temporarily) it feels busy! Dh, me and 5 adults aged 21-27!

I love it though, and when 3 years ago we were down to just one for a while it felt so empty and boring!

NameChangeNugget · 18/04/2019 16:02

3 or more children.

tenbob · 18/04/2019 16:07

DH and I are both one of 4 and we both consider ourselves as coming from large families

DeadWife · 18/04/2019 16:23

Ewitsahooman I have two and have been asked if they have the same dad because of their 5 year age gap 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Bit of a personal question from someone I hadn't known that long in earshot of a whole group of people; fwiw they do, not that it should make a difference. Some people just blurt out brain farts I swear.

CountFosco · 18/04/2019 16:50

I'm one of four, DH one of three, we have three. I'd say 1 or 2 is small, 3 or 4 is normal and 5+ is large.

As far as replacement rates go, lets consider 3 couples in their 80s.

Couple 1 get married at 20 and have twins at 21. Their twins both get married at 20 and have twins at 21, this repeats for the next two generations. At 85 couple A have 30 descendants.

Couple 2 get married at 40 and have quadruplets at 42. Amazingly those quadruplet all also get married at 40 and each have quadruplets also at 42. At 85 couple B have 20 descendants.

Couple 3 are real, they get married in their 30s, they have 3 DC. Of those 1 child remains childless, one child has 2 children in their early 30s and one has 3 children in their late 30s/early 40s. At 85 couple 3 have 8 descendants.

So, which is best for the planet? It's not as simple as 2 children being replacement rate, we don't all die as soon as we reproduce. The rate at which we reproduce matters, the number of those offspring that reproduce themselves and how many resources those people use up.

pallisers · 18/04/2019 16:55

When I was growing up 4 was an average family. I have many friends who were in families of 6 -10 children. Dh is one of 6.

Off the top of my head of classmates/friends of my 3 children I know only 3 families of 4 children. It would be considered large where we are. Nearly everyone has 2 and I know loads of families who have 1.

babyno5 · 18/04/2019 17:08

I have 6 children and many people who come to my house are surprised it's not more chaotic!!
Not really planned to have a large family-it just sort of happened 😂😂

HJWT · 18/04/2019 17:39

More than 3 is a large family, and just stupid IMO!! 😁 my DM had 5 of us and 2 of them are cu*nts so 3 is enough 🤣🤣🤣🤣

HJWT · 18/04/2019 17:41

You will realise you have a large family when you start getting grandchildren, my DM didnt have any family growing up so she said she "created her own" by having 5 children 😂 she now has 13 grandchildren and my DS hasn't even started having children yet!

KennDodd · 18/04/2019 17:46

I child is a small family
2 is average
3+ is large.

Really I think we shouldn't have more than two children per woman. I have three and I do think about the environmental consequences of this sometimes, I know it was selfish to have more.

HalfBloodPrincess · 18/04/2019 17:52

Really I think we shouldn't have more than two children per woman

So men can just impregnate as many women as they want? What difference does it make if it’s a man or a woman?

Yoozanaim · 18/04/2019 17:58

I agree with KenDodd (1 child is a small family, 2 is average, 3+ is large.
Really I think we shouldn't have more than two children per woman. I have three and I do think about the environmental consequences of this sometimes.) - except I did stop at two as much for environmental reasons as anything else.

The vast majority of our friends have two.

whitehalleve · 18/04/2019 18:03

I always think 5 or more.

YouJustDoYou · 18/04/2019 18:04

2 children is average. 3 children is becoming large. 3 children + is definitely large.

Bin85 · 18/04/2019 18:08

My friend has 10 children
That's large for me

Olissa8 · 18/04/2019 18:10

I think more than four. Growing up, I only remember three families with more than four children (one set of neighbours with five, one I knew from school with six, and one boyfriend of my sister's who was the oldest of 8.
I don't think I know anyone in RL with more than four now I'm an adult.
Agree that the replacement rate isn't as simple as one woman can have two children. I've had four... But I had DS, DD1 and DD2 with my XH, DD1 died when she was still a baby, and DD3 with DP, and DD3 is his only child. So I've still only "replaced" even though I've had four children.

happyhillock · 18/04/2019 18:14

My parent's had 2, i have 2, to me 4 and more would be a large family.

MadAboutWands · 18/04/2019 18:18

If people in the other group have at least 4 dcs then no surprise in them thinking that a large family is one with more children than them. Hence 6 or 7.
Thé average family has just over 2 children so it makes sense that for most people a large family starts at 3 or 4.

About two children more than what they have in either case....

KennDodd · 18/04/2019 18:26

Really I think we shouldn't have more than two children per woman

Population figures are always measured per women, it's not a moral or sexist statement, measuring per man is too complicated.

Crushedvelvetcouch · 18/04/2019 18:32

I'm an only child, very much a rarity when I was growing up in the nineties, DH was one of six which was also not the norm.

Most of my friends have two siblings, so going by that I think that three is a normal sized family and 4+ is large.
However I also think 2 is a smaller family.

We have five, which is a large family.
I'm happy to have a large family as I felt I missed out on having siblings.

BeardofZeus · 18/04/2019 18:32

3+ is large in my book. It requires definitive housing, car, travel etc planning that 1 or 2 just don’t need (e.g fitting in car seats, how many bedrooms you need, plane seats..)

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