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Original poster

Never ending miscarriage

67 replies

Lovestruk · 16/04/2019 23:25

I've experiencing a missed miscarrige over two weeks ago, bleeding now for six days and still no sign of anything resembling "pregnancy tissue" I'm finging it very hard to hold it together and ATM am somewhat numb (I've cried for two weeks at this stage) I was off work for two weeks and went back on Monday (yesterday) last night I had what felt like contractions at one time coming every four minutes then 10 minutes but hardly any blood. Today minimal blood and some pain in work but nothing much.

I'm starting to worry as doctor told me baby died at 8 weeks 6 days and I would be coming up to 15 weeks pregnant now.

I've been bleeding for 6 days minimal blood and I'm worried my body won't let go and maybe I'll get an infection been so long since little baby died.

Any advice would be much appreciated, this my first pregnancy and was very much wanted. Feels like this is just adding insult to injury being dragged out so long. Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovestruk · 19/04/2019 19:25

Did everyone just get to on with their day while it's happening, those who had a natural mmc? I find I'm stuck to the house/bed don't particularly want to see Anyone and am off now till Tuesday for Easter dont see myself doing much between them and now. I don't usually watch TV but find its all I've done, for distraction.

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Aprilladvised · 19/04/2019 20:55

We went on holiday as it had been booked. I flooded everywhere and through my clothes for the whole time. It would be fine then gush. Pretty traumatic. I don't remember pain though there must have been some at least initially. I had continual clots too so don't know when I passed any important parts.

It's impossible to imagine how one could forget details OP but hopefully you will too someday. Having been ttc for 4 years before the mmc I have up hope of having a baby but had my son exactly 11 months after my due date for the lost baby. He is such a blessing and I still feel extra lucky to have him 10 years later. I wish you the same positive story.

Cantchooseaname · 19/04/2019 21:03

I didn’t work for the week it was happening- I spent most of it on toilet, crying. But then as no one at work knew, I went back- it was far too soon, physically and emotionally.
Please take the time you need to rest and look after yourself. The world will still be there when you are ready.

The biggest trigger for my mental health was getting pregnant again. It was all I wanted. When it happened, it floored me, and I had a really tough 9 months with anxiety. However, totally worth it, have a beautiful little girl.

Please be kind to yourself, and do why you want and need.

Geekster1963 · 19/04/2019 21:31

I'm sorry to read you are going through this. I had the same thing with my first pregnancy. I had really bad pains and the bleeding started an hour or so later, I passed big clots and couldn't get off the toilet for over three hours. The pain and bleeding settled after that though I continued to bleed for about three weeks.

Then one evening in the bath this big bit of 'dried up' material came out and after that it stopped. So I must have had some retained 'product'.

I think it can take a while to settle down physically and it's very hard mentally as you just don't expect it to happen and you have started thinking of your life with your baby. I hope you feel a bit better soon and everything goes okay next time.

Original poster
Lovestruk · 19/04/2019 21:36

Thanks to you both for kind words I just want it to be over tbh, every time I think it is along comes more pain and "pregnancy material" I'm so happy you both had future successful pregnancies congratulations and best of luck xxx

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Original poster
Lovestruk · 19/04/2019 21:41

Thanks Geekster1963 yes I think that's the hardest part having been planning all along and then it's just not there anymore. The physical side is horrible but doesn't compare to the emotional pain. I'm sorry you went through it too and wish you all the best

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Original poster
Lovestruk · 19/04/2019 21:42

Thanks Geekster1963 yes I think that's the hardest part having been planning all along and then it's just not there anymore. The physical side is horrible but doesn't compare to the emotional pain. I'm sorry you went through it too and wish you all the best

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Geekster1963 · 20/04/2019 00:04

The emotional side is really difficult to deal with, I had six miscarriages over four years but was very lucky and my 7th pregnancy resulted in our DD who has just turned 7. She was born 5 years after my first miscarriage.

I still think about my other babies and what could have been. We never forget it, just learn to live with it.

Original poster
Lovestruk · 20/04/2019 01:46

Wow that's a lot of loss you poor thing x congrats on your little one I'm sure she's very much loved. Yeah I don't think I'll ever forget but then thats love for you hard to forget and it's something completely unique to any other kind of situation.

Sometimes I think I'm alright and almost like its not happened and next minute I'm like a child crying hysterically such a fragile time emotionally. Really makes you realises the fragility of it all.

Thanks so much geekster it help to have ppl there who know what your feeling I feel most don't or else maybe just don't know what to say which is probably tough too xxx

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Geekster1963 · 20/04/2019 07:27

Yes we were very lucky to get there in the end, and people don't know what to say to you. When I found out I was pregnant with DD I sat and cried for over an hour.

Original poster
Lovestruk · 20/04/2019 08:42

I'm so happy things worked out for you in the end geekster xxx

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Geekster1963 · 20/04/2019 13:46

Thank you, I hope things work out for you in the future.

Original poster
Lovestruk · 20/04/2019 23:15

So today has been long, last night I had another situation and again today @ 3.30 pm. It's scary the amount that's comes out and I'm so tired maybe for blood loss that I find it hard to move about. I'd kill to just grab my jacket and go for a walk. Emotionally I'm quite numb but cry randomly when something pregnancy related comes to mind but am just watching more TV and trying to rest. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day x

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Original poster
Lovestruk · 21/04/2019 20:39

Roll on Tuesday I'm so fed up at this point, yes I've had some Easter eggs so alls not lost but I'm so frustrated about still being in pain. The fact I'm tied to the house is depressing and the physical pain a constant reminder that this had been the longest most heart wrenching week of my life and I just wish it gone now. I hate this room and I know I'm being very illogical but I could nearly move after this is hate everything at the moment and only get some relief from sleep which doesn't come easily. Please let it be over soon :(

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Geekster1963 · 22/04/2019 12:49

It’s horrible Lovestruck and I remember well how it just seems never ending at the time and that you feel like you will never be happy again. It does take time and you really have to take it day by day. Sometimes even years later it hits you out of the blue again. It’s normal, you don’t wake up one day suddenly feeling better it’s slow progress.

Original poster
Lovestruk · 22/04/2019 13:36

Thanks Geekster1963 I know it's probably normal but the thoughts of going to work tomorrow feeling like this is killing me (I work in customer service) and can just imagine myself screaming down the phone "get a fucking life" when ppl with their problems call. I just reread your post and it made me cry, so much loss I'm sure you went through hell im so sorry you had to experience so much pain. I'm just trying to be kind to myself and allow whatever I'm feeling to happen and know it's all relative xxx

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Geekster1963 · 22/04/2019 15:11

It’s also normal to want to tell people to p**s off. I was jealous of people who were pregnant even though it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Since we had our Daughter the emotional pain has been a lot easier to bear. We count ourselves lucky that we had our happy ending. Even after she was born for the first six months or so I would dream that I’d had her but she wasn’t real.

Original poster
Lovestruk · 22/04/2019 15:53

Ah Geekster1963 you poor thing theres no good init is there, I'm all for life lessons but am struggling with this one, maybe in time I'll see it.

Yeah I haven't been outside the door since Wednesday and am dreading this hospital in the morning full of pregnant woman, the torture continues.

Although you got you little one you still experienced lots of loss and have every right to feel it, thanks so much for coming back and talking to me I do feel very alone tbh and it means a lot the you've been there xxx

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Geekster1963 · 22/04/2019 17:20

Yes sitting in a room full of pregnant women is really hard. After we had three miscarriages we had tests done and they put us in the same waiting room as the ladies waiting for their scans I was Angry I should have complained really.

It does feel really lonely sometimes as people don’t know what’s happened to you, when I went back to work after my second one it was awful as everyone was asking how I was and I couldn’t cope I had another week off. It does take time, you will feel better.

Original poster
Lovestruk · 22/04/2019 18:04

Thanks yeah ppl ask how I am last week and what's wrong and I just shrug and say nothing I'm fine. Much love to you Geekster1963 you sound like a really strong woman and should be so proud of yourself all you've been through and thanks again being here for me xxx

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Geekster1963 · 22/04/2019 21:06

I’m here to listen Lovestruck x

Original poster
Lovestruk · 22/04/2019 23:03

Thank you Star

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Original poster
Lovestruk · 23/04/2019 00:23

So I have this pain in my shoulder it's right on the tip where your bra strap sits, my left shoulder, I had it two weeks ago too before anything started and mentioned it to epu it went away and I just noticed it's back while trying to get something from wardrobe.

I've read as ye do online it could possibly be eptopic or internal bleeding am I being a hypochondriac now or should I be concerned about it.

Today I've noticed what I can only explain as buzzing down below and thought maybe is things just getting back to normal (I was swollen down below). Bleeding has died down but I still feel awful (weak, nausea, dull belly and now zero appetite) I also look incredibly pale.

Maybe this is just what happens after such a long process and we will be back to 100% soon, oh that would be great pleases don't thank you Star

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Geekster1963 · 23/04/2019 07:56

It does sound like it’s being gone a while. Have you got an appointment today? If not I would make one. I hope they can help. It’s bad enough that you have to go through it but when it goes on this long it’s another kick in the teeth x

Geekster1963 · 23/04/2019 12:38

How did you get on at hospital today? The miscarriage association can help, could be worth you contacting them. I hadn't realised they existed when I was going through mine. I decided to raise money for them when I ran a marathon.

I hope you are as okay as you can be.