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Original poster

Anyone else hate having other kids in the house?!

29 replies

EanieMeanie · 16/04/2019 16:04

I feel so mean but I just dread my DC asking, ‘Mum, can we come in for a bit?’ and bringing the local children in. They have a ‘den’ to use but even so... I don’t know why it bugs me so much but it just does! Perhaps the fact i’m a secondary teacher locally and so know some of them in that capacity too has something to do with it. I’m off and like to slob in my scruffs with no bra and there might be piles of underwear lying around just having come out of the washing machine/waiting to go in...! And then they might want a drink or food and i’ll Have to get up off the sofa and sort it!

Lighthearted(ish!) and I usually say yes through gritted teeth but am i the only one who dreads this request?

OP posts:

Tillyscoutsmum · 16/04/2019 16:09

Fellow teacher currently enduring visits from 2 children (one for each of mine). I like the fact they keep mine occupied and reduce the "I'm bored" whinges but the screeching and door slamming coming from upstairs is making me want to use my teacher voice 😫😂

Mumsymumphy · 16/04/2019 16:10

Another teacher here. No, nope nopety no!

Original poster

EanieMeanie · 16/04/2019 16:13

oooh thanks for the solidarity! I might say no next time then! Maybe it IS the teacher thing then.

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Families

notacooldad · 16/04/2019 16:14

I loved it to be honest.
It's been the same crowd from primary school, through secondary and now the gang of lads still come round but they are now either working.,at uni or have jobs. It's nice they come round and they usually start a night out from here and bring their girlfriends.
We encouraged the kids to have their friends round and the house was always a bit mad.
When they were very young they would play with toys and games, use underneath the coffee table as a den As they got older they would hang out in the loft, listening to Band of Horses and talking shit!!
The house seems oddly quiet these days and I miss all the fun and laughs snd silly stuff to be honest.
Try to enjoy it. Time passes and everything changes too quickly.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 16/04/2019 16:15

Former teacher here. I hate it too - the noise, the mess, the constant requests for snacks and like you say, not being able to slob around with no bra on.

notacooldad · 16/04/2019 16:16

Ha! I think you can tell I'm not a teacher!!

HelenaJustina · 16/04/2019 16:17

I don’t mind it. I’m from a big family and as I only had 4 of my own, it feels more like ‘home’ if there are more than that kicking around!

MiL who had 2 can’t understand it and wonders how I manage with just one extra, rather than the 2-3 we regularly have. I only work term time so it’s nice to help friends out. Provided the mix of kids works, it can mean substantially less effort for me!

HelenaJustina · 16/04/2019 16:18

For context, not a teacher but do work in education!

BluntAndToThePoint · 16/04/2019 16:18

Maybe you should be flattered that the kids feel comfortable being in your home. I remember having a friend when I was younger and no amount of money would have made me cross their door. It just never felt right. We live across the road from a large park so my youngest kids are always bringing others home to use the toilet/get a drink/snacks etc. When they have grown up and are rarely at home you will look back at these days fondly. (Honestly!)

Jenniferyellowcat · 16/04/2019 16:22

I hate it. And I am not a teacher!

keepingbees · 16/04/2019 16:25

I'm not a teacher and I hate it too. I don't mind so much if I know the child well and it's pre arranged but I feel uncomfortable if it's a random child I don't know and usually at an inconvenient time too!

notacooldad · 16/04/2019 16:31

How can it always e ore arranged once they get to 9, 10 11 or whatever and they are playing with their mates. Mine used to play out but if it started raining they would go to oe of the houses ( Ds was in a mini gang of 4 and they were welcome in all the homes.
Surely if it is inconvenient you say so. Surely kids are always going to be random if you dont get to know them?
Horses for courses and all that but I like having a welcoming house and know my child was welcome at his friends as well.

LazyFace · 16/04/2019 16:36

I'm not a teacher and I'm not too keen. Dog and cat needs to be locked up (separately), I keep worrying someone will let them out, some kids would just walk all over the house with shoes... or the latest... 'can we just play on the xbox?'....
We have a massive garden perfect for games, climbing frame, trampoline... and most kids get bored after an hour of outside play.

Greensleeves · 16/04/2019 16:41

I exist in a state of constant inner tension about this

I love the idea of open house, I want my kids to feel as though they can hang out here with their friends/girlfriends, I want ours to be the kind of home where everyone feels relaxed and welcome and my boys feel like it's as much their home as ours etc.

BUT I have raging anxiety and a massive inner hermit, so in the event I do find myself shrivelling up inside when one of them says "can X and Y come in and play on the playstation" or "is it OK if my girlfriend spends Easter Sunday with us". I always say yes, unless I'm ill, and it's never as bad as I think it's going to be. But I wish I wasn't inherently antisocial, then it would be easier.

notacooldad · 16/04/2019 16:48

But I wish I wasn't inherently antisocial, then it would be easier.
But you dont have to play with them, just let them get on with it ( within reason of course)
To be honest it took a while for me to it used to as I had a mother who wouldnt let friends in and it was awful as all he other mums were dead kind and make a fuss and their dad would tell us cheesy jokes that we would groan at. My mum and dad would be horrified at that!
They are still the same, you don't go to my parents for a nice relax and catch up.

I knew what environment I wanted for mine.Slso Dp was from a big family and MIL loved having the whole village round by the sound of things!!

beenhereages1 · 16/04/2019 16:50

I didn't like it myself but sucked it up as I knew both DS's liked having friends round. I particularly didn't like the under 8 age when they'd be wanting to play hide and seek/ running around the house

Now they're older I like the fact we have a home that DS1 and his friends like to come to. They chat to me and I hope they feel very welcome. They don't bomb around the house though thankfully!

Blackandpurple · 16/04/2019 16:52

I hate it. Thankfully none of his friends live in the village.

notacooldad · 16/04/2019 16:53

They don't bomb around the house though thankfully! grin*
God no, that wasn't allowed!! I wouldn't have liked that!

Allyg1185 · 16/04/2019 16:56

I don't mind it depending on the amount of kids and the mix. For example there is a brother and sister a few doors down fight like cat and dog so tend not to play together but when they do it's a riot! Each one on their own no problem

OldAndWornOut · 16/04/2019 16:57

I don't like it, but put up with it.
It's always when I was planning to do something like painting or sorting out, and then they keep wanting things.

RuffleCrow · 16/04/2019 17:01

I always think it's like 'A Squash And A Squeeze' by Julia Donaldson: your house feels absolutely huge when the extra kids go home again. So well worth it for the perspective

Youngandfree · 16/04/2019 17:02

I’m a teacher and I actually don’t mind but that’s probably because we actually live in the country so it doesn’t actually happen but the idea doesn’t bother me 😂😂

EllieMoon · 16/04/2019 17:28

Mine are 5&6 and I love it, but maybe because it's mostly scheduled by us adults right now Always have snacks and ice poles in and encourage the kids to invite their friends round whenever. Keeps the 'I'm bored' at bay and the kids always sleep like a log afterwards. That said we had 6 hyper kids the last day of term with three mums and it was chaos!

My ulterior motive is I'm hoping it'll set a course for when they're older and they have a safe, relaxed space to hang out because I never had that and it eroded my self confidence

sheepsheep · 16/04/2019 17:34

I hate it and largely have managed to avoid play dates so far. I have huge guilt over it but I cannot bring myself to organise any.

I feel like when they are older and having friends round means that I will be left alone for fear that I will do something to embarrass them, I won't mind it so much. But right now I would have to monitor them and the screaming and banging around the house is too much. Plus, my kids turn into entirely different people when they are around their friends and I prefer the version of them only I get to see.

I want to have that welcoming kind of house that I spent many teenage days/nights in to escape the ice house I called home. Just not with young children.

HotpotLawyer · 16/04/2019 19:32

I love it as they keep themselves so self contained and they are all SO grateful if I offer some sort of basic treat, thrust through the door into the fug.

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