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Anyone know where I can find the volume switch for a boy 2009 edition? He doesn't seem to have come with one as standard fitting?

66 replies

SheWhoDaresGins2 · 15/04/2019 10:33

He appears to be getting louder and louder and I have a headache. The "shhhhh... ya mams got a headache" option is not working. Either has "MiniGin? Volume down"

Tried rebooting him lastnight but that hasn't made a difference.

He's 10 yrs old this Saturday do I need to update him with some software? Just other than the volume and general wallyness he is working relatively well.

TIA

OP posts:
SheWhoDaresGins2 · 15/04/2019 15:06

🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 15/04/2019 15:10

Just refreshed his docking station for tonight.

Grin
Bearfrills · 15/04/2019 15:14

My 2009 edition worked like a dream when he was fresh out of the box. Maximum cuteness output, no trouble at all with the feeding input, and recharged for a solid 12hrs a night after just six weeks of use.

We were so pleased that we decided to get a second one and went for the 2011 girl edition. Initial set-up was a bit of a hassle, she was stuck in the packaging and had to be cut out but after that she was a dream and we had the same maximum cuteness output and fantastic recharge time that we'd come to expect.

She was so easy to run that we thought we'd round off the set with one more, the 2014 boy edition. Well. I don't know if standards at the factory had dropped or if we got one of the hidden camera show models but Jesus fucking Christ. He didn't recharge for longer than 3-4 hours at a time until he was almost three years old and some nights he wouldn't recharge at all yet his overall energy levels never once dropped. He came with software traits we'd never seen before like Stubbornness 1.0 and High Demands 2.0, we very quickly learned that upsetting the balance of either of these functions would activate the (not-mentioned-in-the-adverts) Scream Until Sick protocol. He messed with the settings on our 2009 and 2011 models by installing the "He Touched My Stuff" and "He Bit Me" whine patterns which made me install a wine pattern in my own programming.

Just as we were getting a handle on all of that through the use of strict Boundary and Consequence parameters, the factory announced they were sending us a surprise 2017 girl model.

This latest model so far appears to embody the best and worst of the previous models. Maximum cuteness and great recharge capability but only in my bed as she appears to be totally incompatible with the Cot accessory even though the salesperson at John Lewis assured us it was suitable for this particular model. She is stubborn at levels not previously seen and her Scream function hasn't been fitted with a volume limiter or a timer, no Bite drive thankfully but Slap function seems to be spring loaded and 90% of the time she is stuck on Unreasonable Tantrum mode.

None of the models seem to be able to operate on the same network without it initiating their Irritate The Shit Out of Each Other programmes. We got the Trampoline bolt-on pack to give them something to occupy them outside but this made the Arguing functions worse as they became pre-occupied with who's turn it was and who was using up all the jumps, it also attracted units from all the nearby houses and before I knew it I had half the street in my garden. As the models have gotten older they've also started siphoning off more and more money from my bank account as well as food from the kitchen. 2009 model has started showing signs of the pre-teen Shitty Attitude update and today is headed for a firm Re-boot In The Backside.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 15/04/2019 15:20

My 2005 version has the 'non-stop gibbering mode' stuck on. Cannot go 3 minutes without blethering nonsense.

I have a 2005 model too but I think different version. Mine keeps holding out his right hand. It only goes away when paper currency is inserted. Sometimes it can be hacked to perform small household chores before money is inserted.

Longdistance · 15/04/2019 15:23

I need a refund on my 2009 model, unfortunately they won’t take her back...sigh.
I’m resorting to lollipops and gobstoppers 🤐

JazzersMaw · 15/04/2019 15:32

I’ve got 4 consecutive 1990s models, all M style, and really cannot remember how life was 10, 15 years ago. That’s probably cos my own 1960s hard drive is beginning to fail. But I’m pleased to report the 4 models all work quite well together these days. We’ve had to have 2 of them sent back to the factory for reboots, which was stressful but might explain why they work so well together now. The two who have found new remote docking stations do come back fairly often - I think it’s some kind of boomerang setting. It seems to work best when their own levels of money and food are low. There are plans for them all to return to the mothership in a few weeks and I’m quite happy about that. There’s going to be some kind of celebration to mark my creation many years ago. All I can say is it does seem to get better.

CaptainCallisto · 15/04/2019 15:54

My 2013M model seems to have become infected with some sort of virus, which is causing it to overheat, recharge excessively, and emit some sort of low frequency whine. This has necessitated the transformation of the sofa into a temporary docking station, and the only thing that seems to be helping is repeated visual input in the form of Pokémon.

Meanwhile the 2011M model has activated it's Bored Stuck in the House circuitry in spite of it only being day 3 of the Easter holidays. I hope that this may be resolved tomorrow when the 1980M model is on a day off and can deactivate the circuitry at the park...

BertieBotts · 15/04/2019 15:56

My 2008 one has just started squeaking. I think something might have gone wrong with his speaker? Perhaps the grunts are in the process of installing Confused

BearSoFair · 15/04/2019 16:01

My 2009 boy model is ok, however the 2007 girl model's 'stamp upstairs and slam the door' mode seems to be stuck in an endless cycle...

In a few years watch out for the male model purchasing the Lynx expansion pack. It does beat the teenage boy smell but still stinks your house out!

Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2019 16:03

My 2008 model seems stuck on Running commentary mode.
I was told that if I switched him to Playing Fortnite mode I might get some peace but it has resulted in it emitting “NOOOOOOOO, don’t kill me, I’m reporting you you no skin noob, meet me in the lobby, I’m landing salty” and other gibberish at volume through it’s headset.
Trying to change mode to Bed or Can’t you read a bloody book instead causes it to go to protest mode -“ I’ve just started a match, all my mates are in it, just a bit longer”.
My 2004 model is mainly decorative - when it can be released from the hole it seems to have taken up residence in.

Cedar03 · 15/04/2019 16:07

My 2007F model has had the 'rolling eyes' and 'tutting' functions installed in an upgrade in the last year. There is also a fault with the 'closing doors and walking upstairs quietly' functionality which seems to have gone into overdrive and will not respond to the command 'Stop slamming doors'.

On the plus side the 'I will do any number of chores to earn pocket money' function is working well at the moment. It is intermittent, though, and sometimes the suggestion of unstacking the dishwasher will be met with the rolling eyes function. If I could just get it to stay on all the time I wouldn't have to do any housework myself.

I am hoping that the full teenage upgrade expected next year won't mess things up completely.

Cedar03 · 15/04/2019 16:11

Oh, and OP, I believe you should be looking for the 'Indoor voice' functionality. This automatically lowers the volume on boy editions. It is not compatible with girl editions as they are too busy rolling their eyes to listen to any other instruction.

WhenDoISleep · 15/04/2019 16:14

I have no idea. I have a 2009 model and a 2012 model (both the boy option). Both seem to have defective volume control individually and when in the same room interface badly and at slightly different pitches so the volume is doubled. The ‘sleep’ mode on mine is also wonky - I didn’t request the ‘early riser’ option.

Japonicaflower2 · 15/04/2019 16:14

I tried selling mine on eBay but no takers. Surely there must be some means of removing the batteries?

BlueMerchant · 15/04/2019 16:22

The volume button on my 2009 edition malfunctions when in the vicinity of a PS4 and especially with the mention of 'Fortnite' .This results in full volume and strange body movements.

Gizlotsmum · 15/04/2019 16:36

My 2008F model has upgraded to super sensitive mode with sarcasm add on. We have a well established cannot do anything quietly mode and inability to recognise where feet are causing numerous accidents. Also had removed it's ability to locate the thing it needs right now. 2011M model has volume and personal space issues, is also lacking padding and has upgraded to annoying if not attached to something electronic mode. Give me strength

SheWhoDaresGins2 · 15/04/2019 16:40

Bearfrills

I don't know if standards at the factory had dropped or if we got one of the hidden camera show models but Jesus fucking Christ

Grin
OP posts:
SheWhoDaresGins2 · 15/04/2019 16:45

Well. It would appear a few of us have similar models just different manufacture years.

Mine too has a Fortnite outlet where he becomes highly animated. A bit like a washer on spin with a brick inside. Noise is almost deafening. Light fitting in thw living room is shaking. I may need ro adjust his legs or make his floor more even. However. I shall be uploading some form of malware in the form of a chicken dipper shaped usb stick and hope for the best.

OP posts:
Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 15/04/2019 17:16

There's going to be a new operating system out soon and you might find your model becomes very resistant to spending time in the bathroom.

This will be replaced again at a later date by a new graphics card that requires the model to spend a lot of time in the bathroom.

The energy requirements of the model also increase exponentially during this phase, as does the cost of said energy. The previously low-cost kiddie energy deal you used to buy, runs out in about 2020 I believe, to be replaced by a premium multi-fuel deal at extortionate cost.

Talking of cost, I'm afraid older models do require a lot of upkeep.

Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2019 17:25

Oh yes blue we have the strange movement mode when the Fortnite switch is on ( and at other random times as it seems once switched on Fortnite can never be switched off)

Deadringer · 15/04/2019 17:32

I have the 10 year old female edition. Volume isn't generally an issue but she does emit a loud whining noise at times. Incessant chatter is another unwelcome feature. I have plugged her into her tablet for the time being but will need to refuel her shortly. Yes the older the model the more expensive the upkeep, that's for sure.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 15/04/2019 18:03

if anyone has an instruction booklet for the vintage 1969M Version, could they please check what the manual says about constantly mislaying it's optical attachments?

MitziK · 15/04/2019 18:05

I think the manufacturer's recommendation is to either provide a technical adjustment/short, sharp blow to the back of the processing unit or proceed to the Scrappage Scheme.

SheWhoDaresGins2 · 15/04/2019 18:12

Ali1cedowntherabbithole the 1966 version is exactky the same. GrinGrin

OP posts:
JazzersMaw · 15/04/2019 18:31

The refuelling needs when you’ve had them 14 or 15 years and more, esp the M model (of course I have no experience of the F models), are unbelievable. Fuel boost is one way of keeping their grunt levels on an even keel though. It says that in all the user manuals, I think. Once you’ve had them 20 years or more, they do still go into grunt instead of speech mode sometimes. Often this behaviour occurs when there’s a screen somewhere in eye shot. Getting the individual battery recharged whilst switching the communal signal off at the wall can work wonders - I try to retain that as a last resort measure though.