What gives your life purpose/meaning?

[Gracing]

Ever since I was a child I've always questioned my purpose in life. I wish I could just live day to day - I have a nice job, nice partner, nice home, nice holidays. Yet fundamentally I feel a bit lost and always prone to thinking 'what is the point of it all?' I don't feel actively depressed, just in search of something which I haven't found yet. It seems to me that most days are exactly the same - work, home, sleep, repeat. I do have hobbies but they seem more like temporary distractions than anything purposeful iyswim? I look at the people around me and they seem to plod along and don't constantly question the meaning of it all as I do, yet I can't seem to stop. I know most people by definition seem to live fairly 'ordinary' lives, but I don't seem to feel content with the routine of it. I know I do have a nice life and ought to be grateful - I'm working on that!

What gives your life purpose/meaning? Are you content or do you feel a sense of searching as well?

I feel very much the same OP. I feel like I’m missing something that others seem to just have. Something was left out of my programming. I’m not excited by anything at all. Not really sure if I’m describing that well.

You are born.

Life sucks and life is amazing at alternative times.

Then you die.

That’s the meaning of life in a nutshell.

I dont have a purpose or meaning but i dont think it worries me really. Im not searching for anything in the way you are. I do feel contentment in a warm comfy bed and a nice cup of tea and prefer this to the alternatives

I've always had these feelings - not so much about my own life but humanity in general. Why are here? What's the point of it all? Now I have kids they give me a sense of purpose because they are so dependent on me but I still think about the meaning of life etc. I actually just enjoy life, being alive. Small things bring me so much pleasure, a walk in the park and noticing the change of seasons, wearing a new perfume, sitting down after a long day and having a nice cup of tea, a chat with a friend. These very mundane things make me happy so in a way I don't care so much if there's no purpose to life because I can still enjoy it. I think just being kind and thoughtful to others and giving them pleasure or help in their lives gives me a sense of purpose too.

Honestly I have no idea OP, I must say each day the only thing I have that is constant is my cup of coffee in the morning whilst getting ready.

I like to have something to do, I am an ambitious person but still haven't found what I feel like I'm 'destined' to do iyswim? It's feels very disheartening sometimes.

Well, I rather like the line in the American constitution about 'Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness'. Seems a good idea to me - find what makes you happy, and pursue what you want to do, rather than what you feel you have to do.

My daughter gives my life a purpose - I didn't really realise it until she came along. Relationships, friends, career etc., that's all stuff we make up, but essentially we are animals so to reproduce and raise young is our basic purpose, a primal nature thing. DD did not come easily, and I didn't feel particularly lacking in purpose before she did eventually arrive, but now she's here I see it a bit differently.

My faith gives my life meaning.

I constantly think about it too, have done since a teenager. All I get meaning from are the good bits: the art, books, music, dance, nature, animals, plants, trees, flowers, countryside, sunshine, storms, birds, good food, sculpture, the kindness of some people, laughter, learning, the coast, beautiful objects etc. etc.

And I concentrate on the good things human beings have done, amazing people who have contributed so much to the human race...who have relieved pain and unhappiness, invented and discovered numerous things to make life easier for others.

I try and get joy from at least one element of life each day...and give thanks every day for my family who also make it worth living. Whilst steering away from people and things who are detrimental and negative. They exist to make us appreciate the good in life.

You know the reality of it all, there is no meaning to life.

but i take it as a quite simple approach,

Life is whatever the hell you make it, Try and leave the world a little bit better than it was before you arrived

we get caught up in how to carry on living (pay the bills, being reliable, going to work) we forget that none of that truly matters. just enjoy the life you have, go and sit in a field on a summers day and just take everything in.

I believe that too many people think the meaning of life is to chase material items, the more money you have to better clothes/house and car and so on. Can't take any of it with you when you leave this life, so why are we chasing it.

It's interesting that having a child can give life purpose - I'm thinking of TTC in the next year or two and part of me is hoping that I will feel the same. But then others have said that children bring joy but not necessarily purpose/meaning as a lot of it is just hard and messy work! And children grow up and move on, so I wouldn't be able to feel invested as motherhood as a lifelong source of meaning necessarily. But perhaps fundamentally we are here to propagate and continue our species? I don't know.

I do have plenty of moments of joy and gratitude, but this feeling of wanting a deeper purpose or meaning never disappear. I do my best to be a good/kind person but that isn't what makes me get out of bed every day either. I don't even know what it is I'm looking for, which doesn't help. Just some overarching 'why' to everyday life I suppose, a reason for my own existence and the existence of humanity.

Ok, I could have written your post. I often feel like this, as others have said I find my dc give my life purpose. But I'm like you, I have a good job, and am currently doing a uni course along side it to enhance my career opportunities. We only have a few years left on our mortgage, happily married, two lovkey dc, so yes from the outside it all looks rosey but sometimes I get a real anxious feel and I don't know why. I'm not unhappy . I am trying to change my mind set and just enjoy the little things. Literally like just watching my cat and neighbours cat play fighting in the garden. It sounds silly but it's so cute to watch and I try not to over think everything and find pleasure in the little things.

I don't think that there is a universal meaning of life. I think it is very individualised.

Overall, I don't think there is a 'meaning of life's but for me, there are things which give my life meaning. My job has always been hugely important to me and it has always been a job that gives of myself to others and makes me feel good (nurse, researcher, lecturer). Through my work I am contributing well to society] which matters to me. The other thing is my children. Bringing them into the world and raising them to be decent humans has given me enormous sense of purpose as well.

I don't worry about the bigger questions about why we are here. I had a chat recently with someone questioning all of this and realised that my philosophy in a nutshell is to do the best while we are here to have a positive influence on the world, no matter how small. We are here for a tiny amount of time, then we die. Make the most of this gift because you never know when it will end.

My children give purpose to my life in that I have to get up every morning and care for them and try and make them decent human beings. But I’m becoming increasingly aware that in probably less than 10 years they will have both flown the nest and will no longer need me to do anything for them on a day to day basis. My “job” as far as raising them will be done. And I genuinely worry that I will find myself with no life at all and nothing to do other than work to keep myself alive.

There is no purpose, as such. That is, you might live and die without ever changing the world. Once you’re ok with that idea, everything is fine.

I do accept that there is no universal meaning of life. However I find it quite depressing to think that 99.9% of us will live and die without having done very much at all other than work in some job of very little importance/use, pay off a mortgage, raise a child or two, fleeting tiny moments of joy or sadness...and that's it. If I think of it like that, what's the point of my existence when I'm such a teeny weeny blip on the radar?

I believe that within the life we've given there are so many opportunities to live a purposeful life rather than just do what everyone else is doing yet most of us, myself included, don't take them up. Not saying everyone can or should be the next Mandela or Gandhi, but in our own small way we can contribute. But I don't know what my contribution is. To just try and be happy seems self-centred and not an end goal.

I think there definitely is something to be said for coming to terms with your own mediocrity / averageness / insignificance, and making peace with it.

There are over 1 billion of us on this planet, we won't all be amazingly successful over-achieving people, we won't ALL make a notable difference to the world - mostly just in our tiny patch of it and on the people who cross our path on the journey.

Apologies if this sounds cliched. I really like volunteering. I also still work part time in a paid capacity, but it's the work I do for no money which gives me the most happiness.

I don't really know why but I think
(A) there is no pressure to 'perform'
(B) I really like it and don't care I don't get paid
(C) I'm doing something useful and meeting real people and hopefully helping make their day a bit brighter.

I don't think I had a purpose until I had my children. I bounced around trying to be happy but never feeling like it was how it should have been, so made some bad choices and went a bit mad along the way. I don't think anyone much would have missed me if I'd disappeared, I wasn't anyone special.
Now I have my dc I have a purpose, they keep me going, life is still tough at times but they are my reason to live.

I do accept that there is no universal meaning of life. However I find it quite depressing to think that 99.9% of us will live and die without having done very much at all other than work in some job of very little importance/use, pay off a mortgage, raise a child or two, fleeting tiny moments of joy or sadness...and that's it. If I think of it like that, what's the point of my existence when I'm such a teeny weeny blip on the radar?

This pretty much sums up how I feel a lot of the time. I don't have an answer unfortunately. I try and avoid thinking about it but I can't help feeling it would be better if I could come to terms with being insignificant in the grand picture rather than avoiding it. No idea how to do that though...

It's not that I want to be well-known or famous or anything like that. It's more that my actions on a day-to-day level seem so insignificant and essentially, not that meaningful. They don't seem to be working towards a broader bigger picture - it's just a series of experiences, some good, some bad, many neither good nor bad, just repetitive and a bit dull. Running a marathon or going on holiday and experiences like that seem more like fun diversions from the fundamental truth that I don't know what the point of any of it is.

Excuse the long reply.

I could have written this, OP.

I remember being 3 or 4 and wondering about my life and place in the world. Then it felt like I created this path to get out, all the time... first, working hard at school seemed the answer, then university, then PhD, then a 'meaningful' life of analysis... yet yet yet...

I was like you, nice job, stable partner, nice house, good kids, holidays. Yet always asking "Is this it?" I divorced a couple of years ago. Just felt blah blah ambivalence about it all, questioning the direction...

I've moved to a small house in the country where I live largely off-grid. I have up my fixed job several years ago to work on short term contracts for myself, and slooooowly got a bit more meaning... working in an area where I am passing on knowledge & skills to adults who didn't get the chance, volunteering with the Samaritans, stuff like that. My best friend is an old colleague who is in his 80s, and we talk every day. That helps me a lot. He is wise and has seen a lot in the world, plus the unspoken is that we both know he hasn't got long on this earth and so everything is more meaningful for him. I am selective about who I spend my time with, and have veered away from mum or schoolgate friends. It sounds bad, but hearing about building projects or their moaning about their husbands just made me feel worse.

Some days are better - and more meaningful - than others. A cutting made from a plant which belonged to someone famous, a museum trip with meaning, watching the story of someone or other, theatre, concerts, writing poems and short stories, helping a neighbour, maybe taking a course... Hoping the smaller stuff leads to bigger meaning somehow. Other days..? Blah, other days still crap.

I have a new partner and he feels similar. Sounds cringey but he is very much a non-conformist, and we spend time living in our different collective places. I now live on a boat for several weeks at a time! It helps so much to not have a set structure.

Mine, I think, is linked to my cPTSD. If the parents you had couldn't keep you safe, what chance to have against hopelessness in the world, generally?

It can help to keep a journal of the seemingly mundane and pointless experiences. Sometimes it is possible to read meaning at a later time - that happened because of so-and-so, this is linked to that, that led to something else...

This thread has really talked to me. I feel like I've walked this same path for so long now...it's not depression, you're right, it's more like a certain fatigue or world-weariness.

Suggestions for books:

• Down and Out in Paris & London by George Orwell
• Any of the Alexander McCall Smith Mma Ramotswe books
• Roald Dahl
• Fay Weldon (She Devil was great!)
• The Kindness Diaries on Netflix: travel with nothing and rely on the kindness of strangers
• Lion
• Eat Pray Love - cheesy but helps in a way!

Let's keep talking about it...
Btw I am surrounded by many famous people (PP has got me thinking re. not wanting to be well-known or famous, as I wondered this, also). That is so obv not the key, either. I am often asked about the same things we are pondering here! How to we break from the mundaneness of life?

I don’t think there’s any meaning to life. Even if you’re the one who finds the cure for cancer, you’re only prolonging the inevitable anyway, if you get what I mean. Of course, it would be a wonderful thing and more people would be happier while they’re alive, but it’s all going to end.
I probably sound like a right misery but honestly, I’m not.
Life is short, it’s a privilege, enjoy it and help others to enjoy it too.

For this question, I can only quote Morty: “Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV”

My cats and my dog.

There are some good existential books on this topic. I grappled with this question endlessly as an atheist teenager. Have decided that my purpose is to try and make the world a better place in a tiny way. I did a doctorate in a helping profession, volunteer one afternoon a week with children, have rescue pets. Alongside this, I worked out what brings me most joy- food, art, literature, travel and most of all real relationships so work hard to nurture friendships and family. When I am not raising DC I hope to go and do voluntary service overseas.