Paying to chose seats on flights

[PinotAndPlaydough]

We are going away on our first family holiday soon. Kids have never been abroad and DH and I haven’t been abroad for 10 years. We have scrimped and saved for this and literally every penny counts.
Have just looked at reserving seats and to book them there and back is £65. That’s a fair chunk of money for us and money I’d much rather spend when we are out there.

Despite this I think we should book seats, eldest child has asd and I’m not sure how they’ll react to flying and the youngest is only 5. No way would any of us be happy about having to sit separately. DH says that while one of us might be sat away from the kids there’s no way they’ll separate two young kids from their parents.
It’s been so long I don’t know how things work any more, is it worth the risk, can we just queue up and try and make sure we board first?
I’m really not sure this is a risk I want to take? Any advice from more seasoned travellers?

I have never once in my life paid to choose my seat and have always been sat next to the people I am travelling with (who also haven't selected theirs).

I have to say that I wouldn't pay on principle. I think it's a rip off and absolutely disgusting that airlines are allowed to get away with this. They should make the guidelines clearer that children under 12 or with special needs should be seated directly next to their parents. In fact, this should be allocated at time of booking, a bit like cinemas do.
Most people want to be seated next to the people that they're travelling with; It's not something you should have to pay extra for.
Good luck to the person who'd have had to sit next to one of mine when they were younger (asd).
Also, if I'd paid for my seats to be together, I be really pissed off to be asked to move if someone asked me to(& wouldn't unless given a refund by the airline for all our seats), but neither would I want to be a babysitter for someone else's child (& I shouldn't have to).

It's really not fair, and is morally abhorrent.

Seems to work though, as most people on here say they will pay just to avoid being separated.

Maybe if people refused to do this, and made a fuss if their young children were separated from them, we would see an end to it.

Also, it's something that never used to happen and over my 40 odd years, I've always sat with my family on a plane (spread over the aisle if there's more than 3 or 4 of us).

This is something the airlines do deliberately to get extra money out of their customers. That's why I won't pay. It's wrong and deliberately targets families.

I've flown Ryanair a lot and yep, they deliberately split you up. No DC here and I think it's disgusting so DH and I never pay - we either sit apart or we see if there's an empty seat and move. It's actually appalling that this is a way of making money and unless it's a long haul flight I refuse to pay extra.

It's wrong but in this case the children won't cope with separation to OP should pay. Why start your first holiday with such stress?

You can get lucky but not always. Last year I flew 8 times. 4 times I paid for seats together (with kids)

4 times I didn't and we were dotted all over the plane. I was in a row with 3 empty seats on one occasion and friend 30 rows behind me. Also in a row of empty seats.

It's a scandal

I've been on a plane where no-one would swap for a parent and kids. Why should they if they've all paid for their seats?
Sadly you will have to pay. I always pay for one adult to be near us and the other takes pot luck.

Over 20 years ago my parents were seperated from my brother and I on a flight... It's not a modern problem. It's a consequence of there being fixed seating but a variety in group and family sizes.

I fly frequently alone with two children... And always pre-book when we can. Removes the stress of not getting seats together. The most stressful flight we had in recent years was one where there was no allocated seating but strict rules about where children could sit. It was a mess.

I agree that it's outrageous that you have to pay to guarantee you are sat with small children.

I got on a monac flight to find two people sat in our allocated seats (unpaid for but together) woman started crying hysterical at being split

No bother for me to sit wherever

But my partner started organising three couples nearby who had all been split purposely- he rearranged all 5 couple so we sat next to each other

Steward didn’t like it but just grumbled

I have a child with special needs, some airlines allow you to book seats together free of charge. I don't know about Norwegian as I haven't flown with them.
Are you booking special assistance through the airport for your child?

Why are people with ASD not getting assistance at the airport ? Why are parents not asking for assistance on flights? Surely this is the best option for all concerned

It’s so stressful! Even if you’ve paid I’d still check before you got to the airport. They changed our plane once and allocated us an emergency aisle row with a 2 year old. I’d imagine if we’d discovered that on the plane we’d have gotten filthys and not be able to fly together even though it wasn’t us. Another time we had bought seats all together- 8 adults, 4 kids and 3 were babies but we had bought seats for them. they split me from my family I assume cos I have a different surname and reallocated all the seats at check in to accommodate another family travelling so we didn’t get the seats for the babies. I was livid.

Last year just me and my husband were flying out to New York with Virgin and we paid to book our seats for the outbound journey, mainly because it was a day time flight so we could sit and chat, have a drink together, compare what we were watching on the entertainment system.
We didn't bother for the inbound flight as experience told us that it's not usually full. However, when we checked in online we'd been separated by 20 rows, and the seat next to me was empty so I just deselected the one he'd been allocated and selected that one for my husband.

In all honesty, if I found myself seated next to a small child with no parent in sight, I’d be the one asking to be moved, regardless of whether I’d paid more for my seat or not.

If everyone stops paying for seats the cost of flights will go up.
Being strict about carryon luggage has made boarding and getting off the plane so much quicker. So all round it's a good thing.

Contact the airline and explain about the disability of your child. They will seat them with an adult and may seat you all together. They can also arrange special airport support- I recently saw a group of children with ASD and their parents at Manchester- being loaded first and escorted etc

Which airport is it?

I've paid to sit with my 'kids' and they're 14 & 15!

I just factor it into the air fare when budgeting as I'd hate to not sit together.

I very nearly got separated from my children when I flew with American Airlines. We were unable to check in online. It was a scary experience as my children who were 6 and 8 at the time were placed in rows way in front and behind me and we wouldn't have been able to see them. The cabin crew said they were unable to help so we were left alone to try and see if anyone was willing to swap seats. Thankfully, we had a few aisle seats which helped negotiations, but it was horrible having to ask people and also worrying knowing we might have to potentially sit on a long haul flight without being in view of our kids. I have never flown with American Airlines since.

I can't imagine anyone wanting an unaccompanied child placed next to them. Just say to tour child in a loud voice 'remember Harrietta, if anyone you are sat near touches you, you shout out' and I'm betting people will be pleased to swap seats with you.

toucantoo, tbf they shouldn't have to move. If they've already paid to sit next to their family member/friend, etc, why should they have to move?

If everyone refused to do it the airlines would have to stop doing it (& find other ways to fleece more money).

Would you want to sit next to someone else’s unaccompanied child? Because I sure as hell wouldn’t. I’d much rather move.

@alsohuman it would really depend on why I was in that seat. If it was to sit beside my own child then of course I wouldn’t move.

I saw this on a busy school holiday flight to Lanzarote earlier this year. Seats were in rows of 3. A mother was sitting in someone else’s seats beside her child and refusing to move for the seat owner and telling owner to sit in the mothers seat. Owner pointed out that the seat on the other side belonged to owners child so she would be sitting there.

Flight attendant told mother to move or she would be taken off flight. Entire flight was families sitting together so mother and child stayed separated

My child has been adult for a long time. There will always be someone like me who -isn’t bloodyminded- won’t mind.

Strike through fail!

I always pay. I also seat my DH and son directly behind me so the seat kicking and fidgeting only affects me.

I regularly fly with my assistance dog. On a recent flight the airline had failed to book out the seat next to me for the dog, which is necessary because at 33kg he isn't fitting in my footwell. The air crew asked the couple next to me if they would mind moving and said they could reclaim the money they had paid for their seats but they kicked off big time because they had paid for their seats and weren't prepared to move. They were insistent that I would have to move, even though I am visibly disabled and would have to get half way down the plane and move loads of other people. When that was pointed out to them they suggested my dog sit elsewhere on his own, which is clearly a non-starter.

At this point half the plane was ready to lynch them, and the pilot told them they could move or be removed from the flight. They finally grudgingly moved with much muttering and swearing. Whole thing has put me off airlines that charge for seat reservations as it just seems to cause trouble.