Why do nhs staff ask this?

[Realitea]

I took dd in today to a walk in centre and one of the first things they asked was if we were mum and dad and then if we’re known to social services. I thought that was a bit of an odd question. I just wondered if they ask everyone this or whether they were judging me and dh?
Maybe I’m overthinking a bit!

I've been asked this too. I've also been asked whether there are any pets at home, who lives at home, what my job is, what DH's job is and whether we have any support at home.

Once when I took DS1(then 6) to A&E after an injury at football training one Friday night I was asked why I had also brought my then 6 month old DS2 with me and where their dad was.

I've been asked this before. Think it's when we went in with baby DD who had a rash.

My child is known to ss as he's disabled but it wouldn't bother me if they asked anyway.
If it saves just one child from child abuse they could ask me anything!
The story of baby p still haunts me and I'm glad hospitals are now starting to ask questions.

Rocking there is a standard set of assessment questions and asking social history is part of that.

Many of these questions may not be particularly relevant or specific to you personally or your particular attendence that day but there is a standard, accepted way of taking a medical history that covers many things and clinicians are taught to work through in a routine way so as to not miss anything.
geekymedics.com/clerking-101/

Most triage clinicians will see hundreds of patients back to back over a long shift. They have to have systems and processes to ensure nothing is missed. There is no judgement or stigma. They don't have strong feelings in what you where or whether you take drugs or where your children go to school

NHS are trying to do their best in mostly very challenging circumstances.

Once when I took DS1(then 6) to A&E after an injury at football training one Friday night I was asked why I had also brought my then 6 month old DS2 with me and where their dad was.

Are you serious? I wouldn't want to be rude to someone for just doing their job, but I'd probably feel compelled to probe the authority and rationale for such a question.

Maybe it was just idle chit chat?

Don't worry, DSIL is a nurse, she was asked at the A&E at the hospital she works at whether DNephew was known to SS. To make matters worse, DNephew had three bone break injuries within a few months (skateboarding, clearly not his specialist skill) so they did indeed report her to SS who turned up unannounced. DSIL was not amused.

Why not? She's not above procedure because she's a nurse. She should be happy that they were looking out for her children. Nurses, teachers, doctors can all be abusers too.

I got asked they were so pissed at me bringing my child in they couldn't see why I had so they took it further and checked back in his records five years ago we did have a social worker due to there bio dad being arrested (all this is before they examined him) they called me into a separate room to explain myself I pointed out the man I was with was not his father (again) and I had bought my son indue to severe neck pain and he was crying they said well he is not crying now (glaring look) I said do you want me to take him home then? No I "suppose" we can examine him now he is here... then they found a huge lump on his neck (only visible from an angle) his lymph nodes (I think) were swollen causing him great pain and they put him on medication I felt so ashamed for getting my son help out of hours he had been crying all day refusing to move his neck 111 were concerned but I'm made to feel bad because five years prior his dad was arrested and removed from the home I will always think twice now seeking help for my child because of them really there was no need to go into his file like that just examine him ffs it's really not uncommon for children to recover when they get to hospital I was made to feel so bad I waited for a call from social services but none came school said they called and checked he was ok yup he is fine and done

They are standard questions and nothing to do with your appearance. I arrived at A&E with my son after a rugby injury. He was there with his muddy rugby kit, which shows the name of the school. They still double checked.

it’s Mrs Roses out of basic courtesy

I have a rather complicated surname despite being white British and it's often mispronounced. I'd rather the HCPs focus on treating my dd than wondering how to pronounce my name. Not everyone is married, not everyone shares a name with their kid. It's such an unnecessary thing to get worked up about.

It's not only abusers that are known to ss. So don't assume they are judging you.

You might be known to ss because you or your child have additional needs.

I don't remember being asked when we took then-3yo DD to A&E with a broken arm, but I do remember that she had hot chocolate and toothpaste down the pyjama top she was still wearing at 3pm, jam in her hair and a cardigan that didn't fit. We didn't have SW involvement beforehand, but I was terrified that we would afterwards. The staff were without exception lovely, and we never heard a peep out of SS or the HV.

Interestingly, DS was in his school’s rugby uniform as well. So why they started proding him about the country of origin and how long he had been in the UK, when he was there for a neck injury simply didn’t make sense.

But then, in the years I worked for the NHS, we were trained not to ask questions that were no relavant to diagnose but I can imagine how the case of baby P changed everything.

Interestingly, DS was in his school’s rugby uniform as well. So why they started proding him about the country of origin and how long he had been in the UK, when he was there for a neck injury simply didn’t make sense.

You could easily pick up a second hand one or nick one off a washing line. What shirt a person wears is hardly definitive as to identity? Or do the thousands of tourists I see every week really go to Oxford University?

I thought they were trying to assess if he had a right to free treatment.

DS was as amused as I was offended. We are British!

Being British doesn't give you the right to free treatment. You have to be a permenant resident. Doesn't matter if you're British, if you lived in Japan and were here on holiday you wouldn't get free treatment.

The way hospital staff now speak to and treat parents is nothing short of disgraceful.

Or maybe its act like a cunt get treated like a cunt.

@OhTheRoses It might blow your mind but both of my parents are HCPs and I attended the best Independent School in the area...along with the children of many other HCPs. A lot of us also went on to work for the NHS ourselves and plan on sending our children to Independent schools. At my local GP surgery, two of the senior Nurse Practitioner’s earn salaries equivalent to a few of the GPs (although not the senior partners) and can easily afford school fees for their children. I doubt he raised eyebrows were due to a political issue with Independent vs State Schools!

@AlaskanOilBaron yes completely serious. I didn't ask her why she wanted to know but I did feel like she thought either I had caused the injury or DH had. As it was, DH was at a football match in London and DS1 had hurt his arm at football training so there were lots of people who saw it happen. I didn't take him straight to A&E as at first I couldn't tell if he was making a fuss. When he was still complaining it hurt two hours later I took him, so maybe she thought I'd delayed getting him treatment for some reason and there was something to be worried about. I was surprised at the bluntness of the question!

A few posters have brought up rugby kit, what is the significance? Is it that if your child plays rugby you're clearly middle class?

I didn't ask her why she wanted to know but I did feel like she thought either I had caused the injury or DH had

But you might have caused the injury? Surely she was just asking routine questions to rule out the possibility. It would be offensive if they only asked these questions to people who looked dodgy in some way (and plenty of abusers are nice looking, well spoken families). Far better to just ask everyone.

No, it’s that rugby kit identifies the team/school so any questions on where a child goes to school are made otiose by the HCP having sight of the kit.

Oh I see. But they might be leaving next week!

Actually when I took my dc to the dentist last they were asked where they went to school, I thought they were just chatting

It was widely agreed that the question still ought to be asked and that a child wearing a certain shirt was not a substitute for the question being asked and answered.

Isn't asking questions about rugby just making conversation? Building some rapport? Not every question has an ulterior motive.

I’ve been in a&e, out of hours and our local children’s ward several times with my youngest son. I’ve never been asked this, ever. We don’t have social work involvement and it wouldn’t bother me if it was asked.

I also must be lucky that I’ve never been talked to like crap or treated like shit by hospital staff, whilst they care for my asthmatic son. Also sure sw involvement is linked to the admission system when a child is in hospital so if you’re not asked it’s because they already know due to this