Why do nhs staff ask this?

[Realitea]

I took dd in today to a walk in centre and one of the first things they asked was if we were mum and dad and then if we’re known to social services. I thought that was a bit of an odd question. I just wondered if they ask everyone this or whether they were judging me and dh?
Maybe I’m overthinking a bit!

I had to take a friend of dd's to a&e a while ago, she was 11yo. Couldn't get hold of the parents and was asked if I was mum. I was really worried that they'd say as I didn't have PR they couldn't do anything. But it was a straightforward head laceration which needed gluing so they went ahead.

I guess if it had been anything more complicated they might have insisted on me trying a bit harder to get hold of her parents (unless it was urgent obviously)

Ds is known to social services because he is disabled.

I've never been asked! Last took him to hospital about a year ago... And I'm in Scotland. Is it different here?

I fail to understand why they can't ask are you Jane's or John's mum and dad rather than just "you mum". It's rude. They wouldn't say you daughter or you wife.

As for SS involvement questions they need the hard stare they deserve and if they ask it, it's Mrs Roses out of basic courtesy. Let's not forget the a&e dr in the Victoria climbie case who didn't want to examine her in case she caught scabies. The scabs were injuries.

The way hospital staff now speak to and treat parents is nothing short of disgraceful.

If in Scotland we have the Named Person (eye roll etc etc). Elsewhere, it's because for many years many awful things were allowed to occur because services didn't alert each other.

Also, "who lives at home?" "how are things at home?" can be a useful way of inviting an adult to disclose something without being obvious.

Not sure about walk in centres but I work for ss and one of my tasks is to send out a list of all children on cp plans to the nhs which I think goes to A and E, childrens mental health services, police etc, as part of the criticisms post Climbie inquiry was that information was not being shared between services.

This hopefully means that children who need extra care are flagged up.

And yes, not all parents with ss involvement are horrible parents, there are many reasons why help can be needed.

Did they actually treat your child?

So you tick boxes @Corna without using your brain?

I completely get why they ask if we’re parents and if there is a social worker involved; I find it more interesting that they ask who lives at home especially when DH and I are both present for an appointment. From a cynical point of view it could be in case there is anything wrong to gain that information from early on.

I don't think I've ever been asked about SS.

I'm concerned about the cleanliness comments though... At both of his last medical appointments he was properly filthy. I had to rush him straight from school to the appointments and obviously those were the days he decided to get filthy. Public transport so had no time do anything more than rub a wet tissue over his face on the way which in all honesty didn't do much. And I just remember at least one of those he was wearing torn clothing (hadn't gone to school like that).

I did apologise for the dirt as it felt disrespectful to the staff dealing with him but I wonder what was "noted".

And this is why the abused will continue to be missed.
You're a single parent? RADAR
You've a live in partner? RADAR

You're married? Not on the radar.

@papergirl1968 - thanks for that, I was wondering. (we are approved adopters)

mumknowsbestapparently I took DD to the doctors like that a couple of months ago as she was so unwell it would have been mean to force her to dress (she’s a toddler), I wouldn’t have been impressed if I’d felt looked down on for that

So you tick boxes @Corna without using your brain?

What? That was a very rude response. @Corna just shared she shared information with other agencies so vulnerable children can get the care they need. I don't see what's wrong with that?

I've also taken DS to hospital in PJ's one doctor commented that he likes the character on them - no one else noted it at all.

It's always asked what school a child attends as the a&e notification slips get sent on to school nurses so that the family can be provided more support if necessary- eg traumatic event needing support afterwards, mental health problems to ensure there's all the services available being utilised etc. And can also flag up children who are home schooled/not in any education to ensure services are aware of them

Funny about the schools actually. Mine went to well known London Independents. Always got a raised eyebrow and dirty look from nursing staff. Politics should be kept at home.

At our minor injuries walk in you always have to fill in a form for a child which includes school, siblings, social worker, gp, who does child live with, circumstances of injury etc. Presumably it's just to have an overall picture in case a child or children from a particular family are experiencing an unusual number of injuries, or in a case where a safeguarding concern is raised they can look at these records.

I've never been asked these things at A&e, the most they asked is my name and checked if our address and phone number was still the same. Ds2 is there 3/4 times a year with croup so maybe they just rush us in.

I always ask parents this- in fact it's part of our assessment booklet. It's not as a judgement thing; plenty of people have them because their child has complex needs or the parents have a disability. It's also a good way of opening up conversation- it's much easier when you ask the questions for parents to tell you that they do, and there's a history of domestic violence and there's a non-mol order against their ex (as an example). Then we can support them on the ward and make sure they feel safe, and know we've got their back- it's not an easy subject to bring up otherwise.

As to the cleanliness- I would never notice general grub, or weetabix down pyjamas. It's more the signs of chronic neglect I'm looking for- bad teeth, really filthy hair, outgrown, threadbare, dirty clothes. Interestingly, I was at a conference on neglect recently and a fair amount of talk was on the opposite- the children who are always immaculate and are scared to behave like kids because they're never allowed to have a hair out of place.

Yes, I think it's standard. I always get asked if my DC is my first child. Now with that question, I'm not sure if that's standard? A friend in my area also gets asked this too

it’s Mrs Roses out of basic courtesy

Do you ever stop banging this particular drum?

Mine went to well known London Independents. Always got a raised eyebrow and dirty look from nursing staff

@MNHQ can we please start a ‘didn’t happen of the year’ for this site? Amazing....r u ok hun?! x

...Back on topic, I’ve done shifts in paediatric A&E, and this was a completely standard question to everyone who came through the door. I wouldn’t give it a second though OP.

@YouAlreadyKnow
Thought it was just me who'd noticed that 😂
Also, the comment about the HCP giving dirty looks /raised eyebrows at attending Independent schools. Oh please 🙄. We really , really couldn't care less 🤷‍♀️. It was probably that poster's superior attitude that warranted the nurse's raised eyebrows, not the school attended.

YouAlreadyKnow
Thought it was just me who'd noticed that

🙋‍♀️ Third in line here and just glad it’s not just me because I’ve honestly never had to stalk to notice.