Rude, entitled mother in Pret

[IloveJudgeJudy]

DD's story; not mine.

She was in Pret A Manger this afternoon, minding her own business, eating lunch (bought from Pret) with her headphones on. A woman with a pushchair tapped her on her arm to get her attention. DD looked up and smiled at the woman, and the woman said "give me your table". DD said "no" and woman persisted with a few more "give me your table". When DD said "no" again the woman asked why she wouldn't and DD said "you didn't say please". The woman then told her she needs the table because she had a pushchair and DD said "I don't care, go upstairs". Woman gets angry saying "how dare you speak to me like this, move now". DD Stands her ground and tells her to go upstairs again. A Pret employee approaches the table and asks what the problem is. DD tells her this woman poked her arm and told her to move; not ask. Employee tells woman there are other seats upstairs but woman says she wants to sit at DD's table. DD says she's not moving and the woman says "I'm never coming here again" etc etc. Employee apologised to DD and older couple remarked on how rude she was.

I've never had an experience like this. I've read on here about situations like this before and I couldn't really believe people act like this, but now it's happened to someone I know. How rude!

I had the same experience in Maccys D’s once, sitting down at a table (I have an invisible disability) with DS2, DH waiting for food, a CF with a baby in buggy approached the table and said with a very loud tutt, can you move, I said No, some young kids on the table next to me moved.

Her friend or sis came over clearly very embarrassed and said why are you asking people to move? Her response was I’ve got a buggy 😂 most been the only person on Earth, ever to have a baby in a buggy.

Why was it only dd she asked. Wasn't there anyone else she could pester?

are you related to ilovemaxibondi*

because everyone who shares an opinion is related? so you are related to everyone else on the thread?

It reminds me of something vaguely similar a year or two back. I came out of a cafe with a coffee to find an outside table and although it was busy my timing was spot on because just in front of me some people vacated a table. As I was settling down at it, a woman wheeled her pushchair from another (less good) outside table and said "Can we swap tables?" Just as I opened my mouth to reply (I wasn't sure what I was going to say), she said "But if you don't I'm going to occupy this table anyway."

My choice was to stay and have an uncomfortable coffee or to move. I moved.

@ILoveJudgeJudy

I can believe this OP. I have seen stuff like this it before, although rare thankfully.

Good for your sassy and confident DD for standing her ground. Cheeky beatch! My DD is the same. I was not. I was easily walked on.

If said CF has said 'hey I am so sorry to be cheeky but d'ya mind if I have your seat love. Got kids and a buggy here, and I don't wanna drag 'em upstairs' that would have been different, and I am sure your DD (and most others) would have moved.

But the woman's attitude was awful. What a CF! Good for your daughter - you raised her well.

DD1 (16) has been ill since October. Still waiting for diagnosis but has been ill on a daily basis since then. She had been volunteering at a local Brownie pack in the Church Hall (relevant-bear with me) when she fell ill and having had to let down the leader a couple of times because of her health so decided in January not to carry on. She sent a very polite text to the leader and got a lovely reply back. Fast forward to last week and she is coming out of the local chemist and another brownie volunteer who she thinks is a Mum who helps out (didn't wear an official top) stops her and asks how she is. DD replies that she was having a better day that day but was still ill and waiting for diagnosis. Woman says to her 'well you look ok to me and if you are well enough to walk to the chemist you are well enough to walk round a church hall'. DD1 is polite and didn't know what to say but called me soon after and was very upset. DD1 had a brain scan 3 days later. She was in A&E this week as she vomited blood again and we know she has inflammatory bowel disease but don't know what is causing it as awaiting endoscopy and colonoscopy. She has low iron levels and it is a struggle just to get through a school day. I don't know who this bloody ignorant woman is which is a good job as my Tiger Mum is well and truly poked awake. My DD1 deserved better from an adult.

Could the story have been embellished? The woman was rude but could the OP's DD has made it sound a bit more than it was?

It makes me feel too sad that someone could really be so rude???

What's with the obsessive need to "prove" the OP wrong ILoveMaxiBondi? You're coming across as pretty odd.

what are you talking about? I apologised to the OP. My posts since then have been to other posters who have engaged with me.

Good for DD. There’s a nice way to ask that no doubt your DD would have responded to but poking and demanding she move is so ignorant.

Many years ago a young man came into my DFs shop with his friend and said “Give me 2 AA batteries”. My DF just looked at him and said “How can I help you “. The guy made the same request in the same way. My DF told him he was forgetting something. The guy looked confused and my DF ended up having to spell out that he hadn’t said please and wouldn’t be getting any batteries until he said it. The guy looked totally gobsmacked but did say please. It just hadnt occurred to him to say it by the sounds of it.

And to the people saying the story is embellished. I don't think that for a second. Lots of lovely polite and honest teens out there.

Which posts are trying to “prove” the OP wrong?

nauticant you shouldn't have had to move, although I understand why you did.

IIoveMaxiBondi I note many of your comments on this thread have been deleted. I rather think that if MNHQ thought "troll" then the thread would have been deleted instead, don't you?

I am quite believe.this. My jaw has.hit the floor loads of.times on how fucking rude people can be.

FWIW our pret.has a lift, one.of.those small ones. A lot do these days as.the.upstairs is usually much roomier.

You're right RedHatsDoNotSuitMe. But I would have been staying to prove a point and in doing so would have spoiled my nice sit down with a coffee.

I note many of your comments on this thread have been deleted. I rather think that if MNHQ thought "troll" then the thread would have been deleted instead, don't you?

Why would HQ delete this thread as a troll? No-one thinks OP is trolling.

Well OP, I hoped you've learned your lesson for the next time you think about starting a thread.

I quite believe your Dd said "you didn't say please!" As my two teens say it a lot too when they don't hear a please. Most likely ingrained by me as it's something I say 😳

I had it on the tram. Was heading into town one day when finally a seat became free. It was a priority seat and I have an invisible disability. This woman who had been sitting in a double seat that would have suited me with a bag on the other seat, marched up to me and said "these are for people like me! Not youngsters like you!" At that point Ds appeared and said "mum here's your stick for when you stand up!" The woman plonked herself on the seat next to me and muttered to herself the rest of the journey.

I did say excuse me please, when I wanted to move and that got a dirty look. Could not help myself by smiling and saying "have a nice day!" As I limped away. Dh was like "you're far too nice to people who are rude to you!"

Op posts about a woman being rude.

Posters then start being rude to each other.

Oh the irony.

Just popping on with our usual reminder that Mumsnet is all about making parents' lives easier. If you have any concerns about a post, please do report it to us at MNHQ rather than risk starting a bunfight on the thread.

Thank you !

To be honest it seems a lot more likely that the mum with a buggy asked your daughter for the table. Your daughter didn’t hear as she had headphones in, then the whole thing escalated with your daughter being pretty rude herself.

If I could move upstairs and someone had a buggy with them, I think signposting them upstairs is actually pretty unhelpful....