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Original poster

MIL just rang to ask DH why he didn’t buy a birthday present for his sister...

29 replies

InternationalSchool · 05/04/2019 21:37

...but he’s never bought her one ever!

I’ve always done it but because she hasn’t reciprocated or thanked us for several years, I just didn’t bother this year.

So DH is in trouble! He’s in his late 40s 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
InternationalSchool · 05/04/2019 21:38

And SIL is in her 50s and complaining to her mum!

Is this normal?!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 05/04/2019 21:38

I would stay the hell out of it, that's for sure!

onalongsabbatical · 05/04/2019 21:40

Bonkers. Yes stay well out! He should 'let slip' that he doesn't really give a fuck because of her lack of thanks and reciprocating. But that has to come from him, not you.

ReallyReallyNo · 05/04/2019 21:40

What did she say when he told her that?
Can just imagine SIL in law rubbing her hands together waiting for the gift to plop through her letter box and then running to mummy dearest when it didn’t materialise!
Glad you’ve stopped buying his behalf I must say, it’s always women who take on the gift buying duties and it’s bollocks!

ReallyReallyNo · 05/04/2019 21:41

Wtf is wrong with my phone/me?!

Singlenotsingle · 05/04/2019 21:41

Does SIL buy DH a present when it's his birthday?

Original poster
InternationalSchool · 05/04/2019 21:46

DH just said it was like sending stuff “into the abyss” because SIL never says whether she receives anything so we weren’t going to bother anymore.

I queried his use of the royal “We” when he came off the phone but he said he was protecting me!

MIL, SIL, everyone knows it’s me who buys and sends the gifts in this house.

OP posts:
Original poster
InternationalSchool · 05/04/2019 21:49

Singlenotsingle Always hit and miss (SIL is often broke) but there’s been nothing for the last few years.

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Ninkaninus · 05/04/2019 21:55

Oh wow I’d be so embarrassed to be crying to mummy about presents at the age of fifty-something!

Original poster
InternationalSchool · 05/04/2019 22:07

Me too. Why didn’t she ring DH herself?

Well, I think I know why...

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 05/04/2019 22:09

Tell him not to engage in such a childish discussion with his mother. At sisters age it's a bit pathetic to be telling tales.

Richmond1972 · 05/04/2019 22:11

Me too. Why didn’t she ring DH herself?

because she knows shes a CF and would get the answer "you dont buy back or thank us". Its far easier to get his mum to bollock him instead Grin

Enko · 05/04/2019 22:14

Reminds me of when my mother told me off for not having sent my then 28 year old brother a birthday present. I replied " He doesnt send me one" She went.. You cant expect him to remember your birthday.... Err Mum its 2 days before his.. so yes I can...

Original poster
InternationalSchool · 05/04/2019 22:16

At least the phone call wasn’t for me 😲. I sent MIL Mother’s Day flowers, she thanked DH. I grit my teeth.

It’s me she’s really mad at I bet!

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Original poster
InternationalSchool · 05/04/2019 22:17

Enko That’s awful!

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Lollypop701 · 05/04/2019 22:17

It’s not even the reciprocal thing.. no acknowledgement/thanks? Why would you bother?

Original poster
InternationalSchool · 05/04/2019 22:22

Lollypop701 Habit until I realised recently that I was being a mug.

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notacooldad · 05/04/2019 22:25

My mum does this.
None of us siblings are bothered but mum makes a huge deal about birthdays.
It's bloody exhausting.

TheInvestigator · 05/04/2019 22:25

I have to say, well done for not sending anything! I always say that I'm just not going to bother with the people who don't acknowledge it and don't ever reciprocate... But then I always end up spending something!

murmuration · 05/04/2019 22:31

Of course it might not come from SIL, though? MIL could have asked her, what did your brother get you this year, she says nothing and MIL takes it from there.

Ginnymweasley · 05/04/2019 22:33

I refuse to buy for DH's family as it's not my responsibility. I used to remind him until the year that his mum rang him in tears because his fathers day gift hadn't arrived in time. This led to a long talk about how it was thoughtless and uncaring. After that I decided I wasnt getting involved in the crazy.
If his sister is that bothered she can contact you herself surely.

Original poster
InternationalSchool · 05/04/2019 22:37

murmuration This is true. Though knowing her I think she may have been a bit peeved.

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SleepingSloth · 05/04/2019 22:54

Ask MIL if she's phoned daughter each year to ask where your husbands present is.

That should do it. We had a similar situation, apparently we were expected to buy for an absolute arse but when he ignored us, excuses were made. One time this person bought a present for the arse and tried to make us pay for it....erm, nope.

Lollypop701 · 05/04/2019 23:05

I absolutely agree with sleepingsloth dh should ask mil where your presents are from sil!

TansyViola · 05/04/2019 23:08

I wondered the same as murmuration. But then i have a mother who is expert at making innocent people look bad!