I have a massive crush and it’s driving me crazy

[Hormonal40something]

I have never posted on here before. It’s 4.30am and I’ve been lying awake half the night in a state because the person I have a massive crush on is working on my house for the final time tomorrow and after that I probably will never see him again!
It is ridiculous, I know. I’m 47, happily married to a lovely man, a wonderful family and a beautiful home. For the past few months we’ve been having work done to our house and this particular workman (SJ) has been here every day.
I fancied him straight away but at first it was just a pleasant flutter when I saw him. We didn’t even speak for the first month. I just liked seeing him out the window doing his stuff. Now he’s been in the house putting doors on etc and I lose the power of speech when he’s near me. We’ve chatted a bit (he’s lovely) but I am overwhelmed by all consuming lust! The first time I saw him in just his t shirt (he’s mostly been wearing a coat etc when he’s outside) I practically passed out. Muscles, sweat, power tools. I was like a jelly! I was practically drooling 🙈 I don’t even know how old he is (guessing 52 ish so not your typical Diet Coke break guy) but I can not stop fantasising about him.
I knew he’d eventually have to go to another job and had rehearsed the conversation in my head (me saying, all cool and chilled “thanks so much for the work you’ve done...” etc etc. However when he told me yesterday that he was being sent to another job my brain disengaged and I came out with “nooo! You can’t go, you’re my favourite!” (Toes curling just typing this) he said he’d loved working here and really would like to stay and that it’s like his second home (sweet) Admittedly I have looked after all the builders with tea, the odd bacon butty and plenty of cakes and biscuits so it’s probably a lot more cushy than a building site job.
Anyway I’m gutted. Do I actually want anything to happen? No I don’t think I do. I would like to know if he finds me attractive but I can’t tell. I am usually great at knowing if someone likes me but I am clueless. He’s married (I think) and I have honestly never looked at another man since I met my husband 17 years ago. I know I need to get a grip but I am just totally devastated that tomorrow (well today now) is his last day. Also I am quite worried I might cry when he says goodbye!! If that happens I will literally be mortified. Feel better just getting this off my chest. I just don’t know how a rational together woman can behave like an idiotic teenager over someone I hardly know.

Enjoy your crush and fantasies

And accept them for that. Daydream all you like you will soon move on

I am suddenly feeling very lustful and just want sex I’m 46 and have a different crush every other week I think age and hormones has a lot to do with it

This is exactly how women end up fancying Mr Tumble.

snort

Weeping at Giraffe’s comment 😂

I have always been horrified that people could fancy mr tumble but suddenly it all makes sense

I now have a whole new strategy for dealing with my inappropriate crush. Every time he pops into my head I'm going to make myself think about Mr. Tumble.

OP, well done for restraining yourself. It's hard to try and not think about it. The more you 'don't think', the less you think and may likely act! Trust me, I know. I've done the obsessional stalky thing. Driven myself into a frenzy almost just wondering what it must be like to be with him or even noticed by him. @vegpatch, do be careful. Yours, like mine sounds less like a crush and more like a stalky sex ambush! I know about that too. My 'gardener' crush ended up worse (or better) than expected. I'm still dealing with that one. Given that it is all inappropriate, how wild is 'wildly inappropriate'? Not being judgy. Just curious. Do be careful.

OP, you’re a decade older than me but I’m going through similar at the moment - although it’s not a crush. My DH is bearing the brunt (and coping admirably 😂), he doesn’t know what’s happened to me! It’s bloody constant. I guess if I didn’t fancy him so much I might find myself fancying someone else...

(Although right now I’m thinking naughty things about Jack Black, of all people, which should tell you how irrational this is 😂)

Oh and Jemaine Clement. Help me.

This is week four of him not being here and I still think about him every day!! I’m not sad any more (actually cried for a few days after he went 😳) but still do occasional (daily) fb stalking. One minute I’m desperate for him to come back (phase two of the house renovations start soon) and then I think it’s best if he doesn’t come back and we make do with his replacement (who is v competent but sadly only about 4ft 11 and not eye candy in any way) at least I won’t have to go through the agony of him leaving again. After over analysing every one of our interactions in my head, I have come to the conclusion that there was definitely mutual attraction (pure lust on my part) but there is just no way anything could ever happen and he, being a gent, realised this also. I like to think he is having steamy fantasies about me, but maybe he’s not given me a second thought. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nothing wrong with a crush OP I am happily married and have been for years, and me and DH are both perfectly fine with the fact that while we love each other, we often quite fancy other people too. I have had some fantastic imaginary sex with, among others, the man who came to paint my kitchen a few weeks ago, the woman who does my nails, and a nice Irish man I met in the pub last week. All harmless fun as long as you see it for what it is and don’t act on it!

😂😂 love it!! Glad to know it’s not just me 😕