I have a massive crush and it’s driving me crazy

[Hormonal40something]

I have never posted on here before. It’s 4.30am and I’ve been lying awake half the night in a state because the person I have a massive crush on is working on my house for the final time tomorrow and after that I probably will never see him again!
It is ridiculous, I know. I’m 47, happily married to a lovely man, a wonderful family and a beautiful home. For the past few months we’ve been having work done to our house and this particular workman (SJ) has been here every day.
I fancied him straight away but at first it was just a pleasant flutter when I saw him. We didn’t even speak for the first month. I just liked seeing him out the window doing his stuff. Now he’s been in the house putting doors on etc and I lose the power of speech when he’s near me. We’ve chatted a bit (he’s lovely) but I am overwhelmed by all consuming lust! The first time I saw him in just his t shirt (he’s mostly been wearing a coat etc when he’s outside) I practically passed out. Muscles, sweat, power tools. I was like a jelly! I was practically drooling 🙈 I don’t even know how old he is (guessing 52 ish so not your typical Diet Coke break guy) but I can not stop fantasising about him.
I knew he’d eventually have to go to another job and had rehearsed the conversation in my head (me saying, all cool and chilled “thanks so much for the work you’ve done...” etc etc. However when he told me yesterday that he was being sent to another job my brain disengaged and I came out with “nooo! You can’t go, you’re my favourite!” (Toes curling just typing this) he said he’d loved working here and really would like to stay and that it’s like his second home (sweet) Admittedly I have looked after all the builders with tea, the odd bacon butty and plenty of cakes and biscuits so it’s probably a lot more cushy than a building site job.
Anyway I’m gutted. Do I actually want anything to happen? No I don’t think I do. I would like to know if he finds me attractive but I can’t tell. I am usually great at knowing if someone likes me but I am clueless. He’s married (I think) and I have honestly never looked at another man since I met my husband 17 years ago. I know I need to get a grip but I am just totally devastated that tomorrow (well today now) is his last day. Also I am quite worried I might cry when he says goodbye!! If that happens I will literally be mortified. Feel better just getting this off my chest. I just don’t know how a rational together woman can behave like an idiotic teenager over someone I hardly know.

@MiraculousMarinette I just looked it up and she ended up with cg for a few weeks and then it didn’t work out pleased she managed to have some fun with one of them though!

I remember that builder story!! Anyway don’t tell me off!! I’ve had a rational conversation with him about shelves and now I’m going out 😐

Did you survive the day ?

Fabio, yes. He doesnt actually exist imo - has anyone met a REAL Fabio??

How did the missing teeth builder thread end?

OP, hope you're OK!

I get crushes all the time on inappropriate people, work colleagues etc. Makes life a little more exciting but I would never act on them. I'm sure you're the same! Its harmless.

I once had a fling with a man based entirely on his tight white T-shirt and his muscles. It was a massive lustful crush.

He was a lying bastard and it all ended very messily (he was married.. which he neglected to mention

I did actually learn a valuable lesson that time!

You’re 47 which may explain a lot. The perimenopause can do funny things to people.

Hell yes. (Voice of experience...horny as heck, mildly stalkerish and a teeny bit unhinged...)

Oh I get it now, there was a thread about a builder with missing teeth! Was it funny and if so anyone got a link?

Yep. Don’t worry about it. At some point in your 40s your hormones will turn you into a teenager all over again.

Next time pick a film star / musician that you will never meet. Much simpler.

OP, you have my sympathy. I'm also in my 40s, premenopausal, happily married, and in the gripof an all consuming, wildly inappropriate crush which finds me spending my days practicing conversations I might have with my crush if I should 'accidently' bump into him whilst taking an entirely mad detour in order to maximise the chance of seeing him.
It's so completely insane and disproportionate that I have finally realised that it us not, in fact, the once in a lifetime, love at first sight thing I initially thought it was, but hormone fuelled temporary madness! I am trying very hard not to let myself obsess in the hope that it will wear off!

alaric, that is the best bit! 😂😂

Wow, this is actually making me feel better reading this. I am 45 and for the first time in 15 years happily with my husband, I have had raging crushes and I have been feeling awful about it. I haven't spoken to anyone about it in real life and I didn't know that this is common. That me feel better.

Op, well done on keeping it together around the chap today.

In your opening post you said you're 47 and happily married. Is that really the case? Nothing wrong if it isn't because people fall out of LUST all the time. You may love your husband but the lust has gone maybe? No harm in fancying someone. We're human. I'm sure your husband see's women he fancies.. maybe a woman on the train ? Or someone in the office? It's normal. As long as you don't act on it. The way your post has come across to me it's good the builder is leaving because if he stayed who knows what might of happened. Nothing wrong with a fantasy as long as that's all it is

I survived. Actually think he was gutted to be going. He has been here three months and said he has loved working here and he said some nice things. I kept it together, was my smiley friendly self and thanked him for his fantastic work. I was sad after he’d gone and I will be sad not to see his car on my drive on Monday but I think it is for the best 🙁 a crush from a distance is one thing but if the person is in your house all day every day I can see how things could escalate and I just can’t go there, too much to lose.

Vegpatch, totally feel your pain. I feel like I’ve lost my marbles. I’ve done the whole Facebook stalking, trying to find excuses to make conversation, not even wanting to go out in case I miss my daily fix! In reality we probably have nothing in common, and the whole thing is just ludicrous but it doesn’t stop the fantasising does it? On a side note he had a runny nose yesterday (gave him tissues) so am trying to think about that every time he creeps into my head 😐

Good, you handled that well and done the right thing OP, as you said things can quickly escalate if you allow it. Best just to enjoy these fantasies while they last. It will all seem a bit weird at first, but I'm sure after a while you will be relieved you done the right thing, by keeping it to yourself.

🙂 hope so. Thanks. Surprised at how much this little thread has helped me out tbh. Glad I’m not the only lust crazed woman of a certain age out there!

I love a good crush! But think about him farting in bed when the deed is done lol

if the person is in your house all day every day

This is exactly how women end up fancying Mr Tumble.

Noble giraffe has just made my day

😂 it’s true!! Can’t lie, I’m still sad. Keep having a little cry. Feel like I’ve lost the plot. Think I’ll be worse on Monday. Thank god it’s half term so I’ll be busy with the children and won’t have time to be moping about 😭