If you aren't religious - did you still get your baby christened?

[Firsttimemummy19]

Just that really, I'm not religious so very undecided..

Atheist and DC not christened. If they want to get religious when older, that's their choice.

No. DP and I are both atheists. I don't agree with church schools either so if they didn't exist there would be a lot less fake christenings.

No, because it would be hypocritical, and dishonest, misleading, offensive to people with genuine faith....etc etc

I don’t think ‘people of genuine faith’ get to judge other people’s relationship with God and/or the church. It’s frankly none of their business. And as an instrument of God, it’s not the Priests business either.

yes, I don't get how people of faith are being dragged into this. In my experience people of faith are a lot less judgemental and would assume that everyone has their reasons and that's none of their concern.

No. Why would I do that apart from to get into certain schools/ get family approval. But no.

I don’t think ‘people of genuine faith’ get to judge other people’s relationship with God. Quite right, but if someone says "I'm an atheist, I'm only doing this because my parents asked me to", they are the ones saying that they have no relationship with God, so it's surely possible for the church to say "we don't think this is an appropriate thing for you to do".

There have even been posters on this thread admitting they were hypocritical to get their child baptised. Again, that's not a judgement coming from the church!

Even if the church (what do you mean by that? The vicar/priest?) says it's inappropriate (even if they would which I'm doubtful about) what does that have to do with anyone else of faith? I really doubt my mum, for example, knows or cares why any baptism in her church takes place. It's none of her business.

By "the church" I just meant anyone who can explain or represent its teachings etc. So, that's likely to be the vicar if parents turn up on the doorstep asking to get their child baptised.

But it is the business of everyone in the church simply because the baptism service involves the congregation in attendance to make promises to support the family in raising the child in the faith and they are there to make them feel welcome. So, "being the business of the church" should be a positive thing, in terms of saying "we are so glad you came to our church looking for baptism; please can we take the time to understand what your reasons for baptism are, and for us to explain what we believe?" It's not just some kind of anonymous business transaction.

that's not how baptisms work, though - you're rewriting the wording of the service, if I remember correctly - the congregation are not there to analyse the parents' reasoning, nor should they.

Are you a churchgoer yourself?

Yes, I'm a churchgoer, and the welcoming by the congregation is definitely a part of our services. We also give the parents a chance to speak about why they are bringing their child to baptism - not there as some sort of interrogation, but as a chance for us all to be encouraged by their faith.

Before all that happens, I don't see the problem if someone turns up at the vicar's door requesting a baptism for the vicar spending some time to explain what it involves and ask them about their motives, especially if the vicar has never met them! Any decent vicar should be able to do that in a non-judgemental way.

No, because I think it’s disrespectful to people who believe and attend regularly. And also weird to make promises that you don’t believe, and have no intention of keeping.

No definitely not. But people do. A friend has arranged her baby's christening. She and partner are athiest, and baby isn't for four another 5 months. But christening booked. Presents. Christening presents.

We go to church, and I can’t say I mind when people who don’t come regularly get their kids christened - not sure I’m in a position to judge their reasons/beliefs/backgrounds. I think it’s kind of lovely to see all the family there in their finery and if they don’t feel welcome then maybe we aren’t doing a great job of welcoming them.
The liturgy in the baptism ceremony (C of E at least) is pretty serious stuff though which I personally wouldn’t say unless I believed it. Perhaps I feel that way because I believe it to begin with?!

D3 - well, you're the only churchgoer I know who's in the least bit interested in the whys of people's decisions. Certainly nobody probed mine and DH's decision to get DD christened, they were simply happy we were there.

but I accept that's just my experience of both having DD christened when not being a churchgoer and having friends and family of faith.

The church don't mind because they get paid to do it by the parents and get an increase in donations on that day from the visiting relatives and friends.

Nope, and if you’re still unsure OP I strongly recommend you reading the service text before you decide: it’s pretty hardcore and it’s a long time to keep your fingers crossed - you might get cramp.

No, and DH and I are committed Christians. The children were dedicated at a thanksgiving service. DD was quite old at that point as we waited until we were in a church where we were staying for some time, so the church didn't feel they had made promises, then we move away.

DH and I did get married in Church though.

My family aren't Christian and I was Christened. When I got baptised as a teenager, my mum was horrified and grounded me. I couldn't quite understand that as she'd stood at the front of a Church and made promises to bring me up in a Christian home!! Therefore, when we had the children dedicated, we decided not to have grandparents come up, just our Christian friends who are the children's guardians. So the promises we made at the front, were from those who had a faith and intend to do our best to fulfil them.

The church don't mind because they get paid to do it by the parents and get an increase in donations on that day from the visiting relatives and friends.

While it's true there is a fee (C of E) for baptism set centrally (which covers the administrative costs), my church does not ask for donations from visiting relatives and friends (we don't pass round a collection plate - there is a box at the back, but we don't usually mention it during services).

@ratbagratty I have been sitting on my hands and not responding to this thread, but certainly in the Anglican church Baptism is a free service. And whilst donations may be given by the congregation they rarely cover the cost of heating the church for the service.

As a vicar I have found the conversation interesting. I am not allowed to turn people away who come for Baptism. Linked to the Anglican church being the established church. Same as if someone fits the criteria of living in the Parish we have to marry them whatever their beliefs. The church charges for weddings to cover the legal costs of the registers etc not to pay for the service.

When people ask for a Baptism I will talk through the service with them and ask if they are sure they wish to make the promises that they believe in God and also will bring their child up as a Christian. If people wish to lie that is between them and God they are still welcome in the church. If they feel they can't make the promises I would happily offer a service of Thanksgiving instead so they can still have their party and celebration.
Most families who come to us for Baptism for their first experience of church often continue to come (no church schools locally so no ulterior motive). If their faith starts small and shaky at a Baptism but continues to grow then I'm very happy.

My children were all baptised around 6 months but I'm a vicar and you would expect that.

The rules that I have to work with in the C of E is that I must baptise any person who requests it or child/baby of that person if they live in the parish. I can only delay for preparation. What preparation looks like will vary from parish to parish. What we do here is ask people to attend a service, then we talk dates and I pop round for a chat which is about what happens in the service and what the service is about.

What parents usually want is a rite of passage, to mark that something huge has happened in their lives with a new baby. There is often a sense of looking again at their values and wanting something other which can be a bit nebulous and complicated but that is fine.

I do put the collection plate out. At the last baptism I did 2/3 of the very large congregation slipped put the side door to avoid a donation.

Waves at Tiggles!

No, I'm not religious.

My mistake - I know there are parish fees for weddings and funerals, so I thought there were for baptism too.

Two vicars above show to me that balance of welcoming but also asking questions / explaining the meaning.