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If you aren't religious - did you still get your baby christened?

143 replies

Firsttimemummy19 · 02/04/2019 14:12

Just that really, I'm not religious so very undecided..

OP posts:
tenbob · 02/04/2019 15:18

We did, because it was more of a cultural norm and because PILs are religious

Godparents are properly signed up, I got to wear a nice frock for the photos and we had a lovely garden party

The vicar made it clear his only expectation was a donation for the church but that we are very welcome to attend in the future if we ever want to

Raera · 02/04/2019 15:18

As a practicing RC and also an admissions appeals member my blood boils when I have to refuse practising Catholics school places who live in catchment area but are not as close to school as some of those who haven't been near a church since their fake Baptisms

Ambi · 02/04/2019 15:18

We considered it to guarantee a school place at the school across the road. DH was more for it than me. I couldn't though it felt too hypocritical. We crossed our fingers and were lucky to get in the oversubscribed school.

BillywigSting · 02/04/2019 15:19

No we just had a few people over for a couple of drinks to 'wet the babies head' but dp isn't religious and I'm a vehemently lapsed Catholic (and so want to have nothing to do with the church and the church have nothing to do with my child).

There would have been murder anyway as dp is nominally CofE

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 02/04/2019 15:20

The vicar sounds a bit simple, 3cats. Most people pulling that sort of stunt need to lie about it. I’m not convinced your niece hasn’t, to be perfectly honest.

SchrodingersUnicorn · 02/04/2019 15:20

I find it bizarre when non religious people get their children baptised. They come to church once for the ceremony, have no clue what is going on, then leave. (Exception if it's grandparents regular church in which case full steam ahead, it's lovely and not hypocritical if they are going to bring the children to church sometimes). But just, really, why? I think God has enough grace to go round and some spare so I can't get het up about it, but I just don't get why. For us it's a big deal and it's vows before God. Lovely when non religious family and friends attend to support a religious couple getting their child baptised though.

Firsttimemummy19 · 02/04/2019 15:22

Both me & DH were christened yet neither of our families are religious, it always seemed really odd to me especially now my parents are asking when DS will be christened Confused

Just wondered if it was me so feel reassured I'm not alone!

OP posts:
mummyofdaughters · 02/04/2019 15:24

No

CosmicVagina · 02/04/2019 15:27

No, I think it's offensive to Christians. The same as a Church wedding.

redwoodmazza · 02/04/2019 15:27

Not religious.
No Christening/baptism.
No naming ceremony.

BillywigSting · 02/04/2019 15:29

Exactly.
I would no sooner baptise my child Christian than I would do whatever the equivalent is for Hindus or Muslims or Jews

AgnosticBaker · 02/04/2019 15:40

Hell no. I live in a nominally Catholic country where almost nobody goes to church, but everyone gets their child christened, then throws them a first communion party and a confirmation party, and gives their family members a church funeral. Well, not everyone, but many people, and I find it very hard to understand as well as disrespectul to believers. I also know people who let their children be christened as young teens so they would "fit in" with their peers. ONe of them would have been christened as a baby in her GM's village but then GM realized the priest might refuse as the parents weren't married and her neighbours would find out. Better to risk the child going to purgatory than lose face in the village!

I'm an atheist but was brought up first as a middle-of-the-road Protestant (infant baptism), then guilted into being "born again" and baptized by immersion as a young teen when my parents moved us closer to my GPs and we for some reason "had" to join their more fundamentalist church. I at first refused out of embarassment (like most 12-year-olds, I imagine, the thought of "dying in the Lord" wearing a swimsuit under an old choir robe, in front of the whole congregation, made me want to shrivel up and actually die), but eventually terror of dying "unsaved" prevailed. Strangely, nobody had thought to warn me when I was still a Lutheran!

And interestingly, when my mother left my father after 45 years of marriage she went right back to her original Protestant faith. When my son was born she asked me if I planned to baptize him and when I said no she made a cat's bum mouth and said "oh you really SHOULD...." I was tempted to ask why, and if she was finally SURE infant baptism was the right type, but there's no having any discussion with her.

Whew ... I hate hypocrisy

Coffeeonthesofa · 02/04/2019 15:49

I’m not religious at all, but my In-laws were my DH was christened and attended church regularly as a child, although he’s not a regular attender now. If he had wanted our DS to be christened I would have respected his wishes. My DH didn’t want it in fact he would rather our DS made up his own mind. Our DS joined a church as his own free choice and got baptised as a teenager. We were there, it was special and I was happy for my DS even though I have no faith myself, the church congregation were lovely people. It means a lot more if they decide themselves when they are older.

Mumof3dragons · 02/04/2019 16:01

Not remotely religious and would never christen my kids to please any of my family/get my kids into a school that I don't believe in the ethos of. Popped some champagne with family. Had a humanist wedding too.

I hate hypocrisy!

ForFrithsSake · 02/04/2019 16:03

No.

We're not married and our DC aren't Christened.
I feel really uncomfortable with the idea of making promises you have no intention of keeping, to a god you don't believe in...

EssexGurl · 02/04/2019 16:06

No. DS decided he wanted to get confirmed in Y6 as church school offered it. He had to be baptised in order to be confirmed. We did it one night in church, no godparents or witnesses. Just DS, DH and me with the vicar. Took all of 5 mins. He is now a teenager and getting more interested in exploring his faith, even though we are not a religious family.

I’m quite glad we didn’t get him baptised as a baby as we’ve moved since and are no longer in touch with the friends we would have asked to be godparents. We had talked about doing it, just neither of us was that bothered.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 02/04/2019 16:10

Yes, though I now kind of wish we hadn't.

Dh and I both christened and brought up going to church, so without thinking about it especially much we decided we wanted DD to be christened. I would call myself a cultural Christian, I suppose.

It's not something that bothers me too much, I must say. I think the MN view that it's Absolutely 100% Hypocritical to get married in church or get your children christened if you're not religious not really reflected in society at large. Lots of people return to the church for significant events.

MrsEricBana · 02/04/2019 16:13

No. Both atheists. Civil wedding and no christening.

RealJudas · 02/04/2019 17:01

Raera, I imagine the blood also boils of those parents who live next door to the village school, but don't get a place and have to watch Christians (real or pretend) drive in from miles around to attend..... Just saying.

Apologies for derail..... As you were.

DelurkingAJ · 02/04/2019 19:07

Yes. I’m not Christian but DH is ambivalent and it meant a lot to my lovely DPIL.

My lapsed Catholic DDad who was a vehement atheist said ‘lack of religion is trumped by faith in these situations’. It meant nothing to me but made people I love happy. We do have practising Christians for godparents as we felt that was important should DSs want spiritual guidance.

ForFrithsSake · 03/04/2019 09:33

But isn't a Christening all about promising to bring the child up as a Christian? Surely making those promises with no intention of following them through makes a mockery of the whole thing? Surely devout Christians wouldn't want that? It's just so superficial.

My DPs grandparents were a bit shocked and upset that we didn't get our DC Christened, but it was quickly forgotten and they loved them just the same :)

Contraceptionismyfriend · 03/04/2019 09:34

Absolutely not. I was not signing my children up to that BS

DDIJ · 03/04/2019 09:40

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MidsomerBurgers · 03/04/2019 09:47

No we didn't. If she wishes to when she is older then that is her choice.

Tentomidnight · 03/04/2019 09:52

No, of course not.

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