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Original poster

How much do you care about your DP's opinion on your clothes and hair?

53 replies

DirtyDennis · 02/04/2019 13:38

Yesterday I went on a shopping spree. I bought a jumpsuit which I love but DP said it looks like a clown's outfit.

I told my DM and she was completely confused as to why I wasn't going to return it since DP didn't like it. I think it's probably less about me looking good for DP and more that DP provided a male perspective, which, if applied to all men, means my outfit isn't particularly attractive to men.

It's the same with my hair. I never know what I'm going to get done to my hair until I get to the salon. Nearly every hairdresser I've ever been to has asked what my DP thinks of my hair, and what he thinks about me turning up at home with something completely random and unexpected.

I can honestly say I really don't care about, or take into consideration, DP's opinion on this kind of stuff. Sometimes if I'm struggling to decide on a hair style or an outfit, I'll ask which he prefers and why but his response will be just one variable in my decision, not the deciding factor.

Lots of people that I've mentioned this to seem really quite shocked. I know my ILs basically think I'm out of control Grin but my PIL once had a go at MIL for having her hair cut "too short" without "asking" him Hmm

So, how much do you take your DP's opinion on this stuff into consideration? Would you return an item because DP doesn't like it?

OP posts:
HilaryBriss · 02/04/2019 14:32

No, I definitely wouldn't return an item just because my DP didn't like it. If that was the case I might as well just let him buy all my clothes in the first place. It might stop me wearing it as often when we go out together though I would wear it when out with friends.

I can't comment on the hair as I don't usually get anything different done Grin

Faster · 02/04/2019 14:39

I wouldn’t return something if he didn’t like it and I did.
I’m currently growing my hair dye out and allowing my greys to come through, because I want to. I asked DP what he thought about it several months into the grow out and he just shrugged and said it’s my hair and if it makes me happy then go for it.
I can understand that he likes me in certain outfits more than others but I wear what I want. Which is usuallyjeans and T-shirt’s from Asda so I’m no style guru 😂

Original poster
DirtyDennis · 02/04/2019 14:40

I should say, I'd take it into account if DP had something specific to say about an outfit (e.g. if he thought I needed something more formal for a particular event).

I just don't really care if he likes/dislikes something

Grin
OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 02/04/2019 14:42

My DP just looks at me confused if I ask him about clothes or hair tbh.

MNSDKHheroines · 02/04/2019 14:48

No I would not return something just because he didn't like it. He doesn't buy for me after I couldn't mask my horror when he bought me a jumper for xmas from Bon Marche. I am nowhere near retirement !

RagingWhoreBag · 02/04/2019 14:50

I know that my DP prefers me with longer hair, but when the fancy takes me I will get an ‘unauthorised’ short hair cut, even though I know he won’t like it. To be fair, he will usually say it looks nice anyway!

He also likes to take the piss about the fact that I didn’t like some perfume he bought me for Xmas once. He said it wasn’t for me, that I should wear it because he liked it (it smelled like my grandma, all floral and sweet!!) and I said no, I wear smells I like as I have to put up with it all day. But I do also like him to wear familiar scents for my benefit so I’m clearly a hypocrite Grin

As for clothes, if he doesn't like something then I probably wouldn’t wear it when I’m going on a date night with him, and I choose clothes which emphasise my boobs, as I know he likes them. But not exclusively, you know, just in general.

I have some of the famous MN flying squirrel suits (my DCs call it my babygro) and I only wear them when I’m not seeing DP for hanging about the house.

I usually buy bras that feel nice too, as he doesn’t like the padded ones, but I will get one or two padded ones too, as they look nice under t shirts.

Basically it’s a mix of giving a shit and not giving a shit!

Original poster
DirtyDennis · 02/04/2019 14:51

@MNSDKHheroines Grin That made me properly laugh out loud.

DP bought me a really beautiful scarf once. I genuinely really do love it but he left the tag on and it was £23 Shock

While I made all the right grateful noises, I did remind him that Primark exists.

OP posts:
Original poster
DirtyDennis · 02/04/2019 14:54

@RagingWhoreBag Basically it’s a mix of giving a shit and not giving a shit! Sounds like my entire life.

I'm intrigued though, what the hell are flying squirrel suits? Confused

OP posts:
MNSDKHheroines · 02/04/2019 14:58

You're welcome Grin
Can't help with flying squirrel suit.

RagingWhoreBag · 02/04/2019 15:03

I do like the idea of letting my grey come through but as DP is younger than me I would look like his mum! So I continue to dye it. To be fair, i think I’d only leave it to go completely grey if I wasn’t interested in dating anyone, as I know we women love silver hair on other women but I don’t think men get it!

Snipples · 02/04/2019 15:04

I don't really ask DH for his opinion re clothes and hair. The odd time I've asked him but if he doesn't like something and I do, then I wear it/buy it anyway cause it's up to me.

Just thinking about this but years and years ago I used to always run everything passed an ex and wouldn't wear anything unless he liked it. I was far less confident then whereas I feel surer in myself now.

RagingWhoreBag · 02/04/2019 15:05

Flying squirrel suit! It’s basically square so if you stretch out the legs and lift the sides you look like a flying squirrel. They’re a bit Marmite Grin

How much do you care about your DP's opinion on your clothes and hair?
JoinTheDots · 02/04/2019 15:09

My DH prefers my hair long but I just had it cut shorter than he would have chosen as I find it quicker and easier to style. I might grow it again because I like it long too, but that is very much because I like it, not for him.

With clothes, I do listen to him and ask his opinion sometimes if I am not entirely sure about an item (too bright? Too bold? A bit dull?) as he is a sounding board, but I would value the opinion of a friend, family member, or indeed random stranger just as much, it is only because he tends to be the one at hand that I ask him.

Ribbonsonabox · 02/04/2019 15:09

I'd take massive issue with my DH criticizing or making fun of my clothing. Because it would piss me off. Thankfully hes never commented unless he likes something.
I dont think of him when buying everyday clothing at all, no.
I bought nice underwear for my wedding night! Stockings and the whole shebang because I thought hed like it. So I'd maybe think about it if I was trying to be 'sexy'.
But the majority of the time it would not enter my head.
I dress in what I like and I suppose it's a reflection of my personality... which presumably he likes so I'd just expect him to also like the way I dress tbh....

I feel that about the way he dresses. It's not what I'd pick out if asked.. but its 'him' and his taste. I love him and his personal taste reminds me of him and so I do like it.

Original poster
DirtyDennis · 02/04/2019 15:13

@RagingWhoreBag Shock I can see how that'd be comfortable for slobbing around the house but people don't seriously wear that outside do they?! It looks like the manufacturer had too much material left over and went "ah fuck it, just put it all round the arse/thigh bit"

Grin

@Ribbonsonabox Weirdly I do actually buy all of my DP's clothes for him Grin

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 02/04/2019 15:20

I wear what I like and feel comfortable in but it does annoy me when I ask DH if something looks ok and he says "it's fine" Angry

Shockers · 02/04/2019 15:58

I wear whatever I like. It’s nice when DH compliments me, but I don’t dress for him.

SimonJT · 02/04/2019 16:00

I do hugely, but that’s a confidence issue.

EL8888 · 02/04/2019 16:03

Very little! He does his own thing as well. He is more flamboyant than me so he is more out there than me

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 02/04/2019 16:05

DH used to love my style, and I would frequently ask his opinion before buying something because I knew he would be honest but not unkind. I dye my hair the colour I know he preferred, even now, despite it possibly not being the most professional (bright scarlet). Now I don't have to please anyone, I still find myself thinking what he would have liked.

I don't think I would have done so if he had been critical though. But then I wouldn't have married him if he was a cunt.

SneakyGremlins · 02/04/2019 16:06

Not at all Grin I usually have a mohawk and wear comfy tracksuit type stuff listen to the gasps of horror at the chav on the thread

If anyone said "Oh why can't you have your hair like XYZ" they'd be gone.

Ragwort · 02/04/2019 16:09

I don’t care in the slightest whether or not my DH finds my clothes or hair ‘attractive’ Hmm, I don’t think he comments either way. Just as I would never comment on his appearance or clothes. He did shave his beard off recently, I prefer him with a beard but I don’t expect him to grow it back for my sake.

Ohyesiam · 02/04/2019 16:10

My do is very lovely in that he believes I’d look good in a sack. But I have a much higher bar than him and better taste! So I’d never ask him to critique a look/ outfit/hairstyle because he just looks slightly confused and tells me I look lovely.

I usually just go by the mirror, but if I wanted an opinion it would be a female friend.

Home77 · 02/04/2019 16:27

I recently bought a all over fluffy cosy thing from M and S in the same...he laughed at it, but I did too. I'm past caring...it is quite strange though has a hood and pockets on it.

ommmmmmG · 02/04/2019 16:28

I very much care what DH thinks, but he notices everything and has good taste so I take his opinion into account. He doesn't have the final word on whether i keep something or not though, that's mine.

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