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Would someone smoking weed in your flat annoy you?

39 replies

EachandEveryone · 31/03/2019 23:07

Or, should i just let it go. I advertised for a flat mate and this you woman was so eager to escape a bad home life I caved in the end. Its rented and has been by ne for years. Flat mates come and go sonetimes they are on the contract sometimes they arent it depends if its due to be renewed. Its nothing unusual in London and, tbh, its such a good deal most people stay for over a year. Anyway she wore me down I was worried about the afe gap, she wasnt, I was worried about her affording it but she can walk to work from here. Lastly, I told her no smoking the place has being decorated and I stopped two years ago so now i cant abide it. She told me she would smoke outside. Well, its not just fags its weed every night. Its blowing back into the bathroom window even my neighbours have complained about it. Its in my hall cos she must be smoking it in her room and its on her dressing giwn it wafts around with her. I mentioned it but she looked at the glass of wine in my hand and said its not half as bad as me drinking every other night. She has a point. Should i just take the stick out of my arse and ignore it?

OP posts:
tectonicplates · 01/04/2019 00:46

YANBU. And your glass of wine has nothing to do with it as the smell doesn't affect other people, and hasn't annoyed the neighbours, so no, she doesn't have a point.

Sorry to have to say it, but speaking from experience, you should never, ever believe anyone who claims they'll only smoke outside. It's always a lie, or a good intention that never lasts very long. So you've learned something from this: in future, be very strict about the fact that it's not just no smoking, but actually no smokers.

Is she on the contract? Unreasonable behaviour tends to lead to more unreasonable behaviour. Next time please trust your gut instinct!

CordeliaEarhart · 01/04/2019 00:49

The big difference is that it isn't illegal for you to have wine in your home. Can you get her out easily?

tectonicplates · 01/04/2019 00:53

And sorry but your OP is ringing alarm bells. She sounds like the sort of person who'll eventually end up not paying the rent. I've lived in numerous flatshares and so have most of my friends, and these things happen far too often. Please trust your gut instinct.

LeesPostersAreInFrames · 01/04/2019 00:55

Absolutely not tolerated by me. I can't stand the smell, and tbh I am totally judgey about the zombie that it turns people into. It's also not legal, which your landlord and neighbours might not exactly appreciate.

No no no no. I would be a blunt and honest "I can smell you've clearly been smoking this inside. I was clear about the no smoking inside rule and this absolutely applies to weed. Smoking it outside is also a problem as the neighbours are complaining about the smell. This isn't going to work, I'm giving you X notice. "

Boredgiraffes · 01/04/2019 00:56

Yep I would object and tell her to find someplace else, your house your rules

LeesPostersAreInFrames · 01/04/2019 00:57

Also also, second hand smoke is a bloomin health hazard. Why should you breathe polluted air?! I got asthma back after years free of it and coughed up blood when I lived with smokers who only smoked in their own rooms by agreement. No, no and Nope.

tectonicplates · 01/04/2019 00:58

At first you were hesitant, then she "wore you down" and you "caved". This is not how you're supposed to choose a flatmate.

sobeyondthehills · 01/04/2019 01:08

I wouldn't accept is, as an "ex" smoker, the smell makes me want to punch the person smoking and take it and I wouldn't care what is in it

notharryssally · 01/04/2019 01:22

I would be furious. I don't want to breathe that shit in. Your wine is irrelevant as it doesn't affect others.

Coffeeonthesofa · 01/04/2019 01:36

I couldn’t share with someone who smoked cigarettes in the house never mind weed. Drinking has nothing to do with it, unless your drinking is affecting her in some way? She sounds very immature. You were clear about house rules, she had the option to decline despite being pushy if she didn’t agree. Give her notice to quit, and only consider non smokers in the future.

EachandEveryone · 01/04/2019 06:21

My neighbour said its illegal but i thought it wasnt for personal use?

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EdtheBear · 01/04/2019 06:33

I think the neighbour is right. Police would be more interested in her source and turn a blind eye but that doesn't make it legal.

Don't let her spoil your relationship with the neighbours.

colehawlins · 01/04/2019 06:33

You don't sound as though you're temperamentally suited to have lodgers, in all honesty. It takes assertiveness.

mathanxiety · 01/04/2019 06:36

Of course it's illegal for personal use.

It's a Class B drug and it is illegal to possess it. Recreational use is illegal too.

SimonJT · 01/04/2019 06:37

Just tell her, if she thinks she can get away with smoking inside she will cleary carry on. If it is blowing into the bathroom window ask her to stand somewhere else or ask her to close the window before she goes outside.

I smoke, but I don’t think I have ever smoked inside anywhere.

EachandEveryone · 01/04/2019 06:47

Ive been in the flat 20 years so im used to sharing. My other place is up North. Occasionally it doesnt work out but 90 percent of the time its fine.

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mummabubs · 01/04/2019 06:53

Trust me it's 100% illegal to possess or use and is Class B. As others have said realistically the police won't be too faffed but your neighbours and landlord will be.

If you really struggle with assertiveness you could ask neighbours to inform your landlord of their objections to the smell and then they could evict her? Or say something to the landlord yourself? I'm guessing you don't control her letting and what you don't want to happen is landlord to get a hint of illegal drugs being used in their property and kick you both out.

Blackandpurple · 01/04/2019 07:02

She would be out on her arse. Get rid asap. Not only she reeks of weed but also problems!

EachandEveryone · 01/04/2019 10:06

I’ll hace to have a word with her when I’m off. She’s very sweet but in a rut I can tell that already. I live in a rough area and I suppose I felt for her as her mum had moved her bloke and her sister had just had twins she was desperate to get out. She told me she worked full time but now I’m thinking it’s four days and I asked her ten times can you afford this?

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Hiddenaspie1973 · 01/04/2019 10:09

Yes. They'd wouldn't smoke in my flat again.

darkriver19886 · 01/04/2019 10:13

No one smokes in my flat at all.... they would never set foot in my house again if they did.

tectonicplates · 01/04/2019 10:41

OP, it is not your job to rescue people. Seriously, you knew from the day you met her that she wasn't the right flatmate for you, before she'd even moved in.

mathanxiety · 02/04/2019 06:30

You are not going to see rent from her after a while.

Please get her to leave.

CatToddlerUprising · 02/04/2019 06:40

Did you get a deposit? Or did she sign a contract?

EachandEveryone · 02/04/2019 06:50

Deposit yes. Contract no as its only due up next monthand i was debating whether i should put her on it. Tbh its rolling ive been on it 20 years. Sometimes i put the other person in it sometimes i dont as its never made any difference. Should i be putting them all on it? Its alot of faffing.

OP posts: