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Original poster

Argh pissed guy I've seen once is still using tindr lol

51 replies

CitrusDreams · 30/03/2019 09:45

I know it's probably unreasonable of me to expect him not to (esp in this modern age) - was fine with him having the app but now I know he's using it (location hadn't changed on it for the 2 weeks we've been "dating" i.e. texting and phone calls + 1 date last week) but yesterday (friday night), the location changed twice....

I know we haven't had the exclusivity talk etc. and maybe I'm old fashioned but to me, it seems right to just focus on that 1 person you may potentially like and if it doesn't work out, go back to the app.. I just don't get this shopping around thing as back in the day, people never had tindr let alone be expecting to use it whilst dating someone else. I'm not expecting anything ridiculous like him not talking to any females at all e.g. at pubs, dancing etc lol.

I know I'm probably going to get a lot of hate for asking/expecting this but I guess it makes it feel like more business-y and less romantic/exciting perhaps?

I don't really want to be having that "exclusivity" chat as I feel it should develop naturally and be the underlying assumption (until issues/incompatibility arises)

OP posts:
IAmTheSockThief · 30/03/2019 09:47

Are you not using it yourself to check? Confused

00100001 · 30/03/2019 09:48

You're using it though??

Dramatical · 30/03/2019 09:48

I'm confused, he was using it when he was drunk?

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TotalNoob · 30/03/2019 09:49

Why are you bothered about a pissed bloke?

Tomtontom · 30/03/2019 09:50

Tinder

You sound more than a little intense.

pinkyredrose · 30/03/2019 09:51

Way too soon to be so concerned! You've seem him once ffs!

SilverGoldBronze · 30/03/2019 09:51

That’s not how online dating works though, is it? You need to assume that everyone you chat with/meet up with it multi-dating unless you’ve discussed otherwise. And yes, as everyone else has said, you wouldn’t know this if you hadn’t been on tindr yourself. So you’re being unreasonable all round.

ooooohbetty · 30/03/2019 09:52

Why are you bothered about a drunk man. Even if he wasn't you'd have no right to demand he comes off tinder after seeing him once. You sound slightly scary.

viques · 30/03/2019 09:52

you do know that the dating bar has been raised by MN?. He now needs to make sure you get home safely by organising taxis for you, and to send taxis to your house so you don't wilt under the strain of using public transport. If he is managing to do these things then a bit of tinder surfing is neither here nor there.

CircleofWillis · 30/03/2019 09:55

I think the OP is 'pissed off' rather than the man being 'pissed'.

Jaffacakebeast · 30/03/2019 09:55

I get it, I’m the same! If some1 you’re dating is still “shopping” it gives the impression they’re not that into you. But agree with others it’s the way it is now, if I notice this I just cut them off, I think it shows what kind of person they are, not the sort I want

ILoveMaxiBondi · 30/03/2019 09:58

Why is this “lol”?

CoraCoo · 30/03/2019 09:58

At first i thought he was pissed too but there's a missing full stop/comma/ exclamation.

OP is pissed off that this guy is still on Tinder after their date.

CircleofWillis · 30/03/2019 10:00

I don't think he is being unreasonable if you have only had one date and only known each other 2 weeks. However I don't think you are unreasonable to feel upset if you really like him. It doesn't mean your relationship won't work out but it is a wake up call to remind yourself not too get swept away too fast too soon as he is not feeling the same way yet (and may never get there).

Dramatical · 30/03/2019 10:03

So he isn't a pissed guy OP saw once Blush

BorsetshireBlew · 30/03/2019 10:04

One date. One. You cannot and should not expect exclusivity after one date.

ooooohbetty · 30/03/2019 10:11

Pissed off. Not pissed. She missed a word out.

MitziK · 30/03/2019 10:17

It's Tindr, not a Mennonite Marriage Bureau.

Tbh, if somebody posted on here that the guy they'd chatted with and gone on one date was annoyed that he'd seen her online in the app, there would be an absolute fuckton of 'Get out now', 'RUN' and other such replies.

Original poster
CitrusDreams · 30/03/2019 10:37

Yes the people who said I meant pissed off, not pissed (drunk) guy are correct. I don't know if he was drunk lol but it's entirely possible it being late in the evening on friday (not that it makes much differences).

I knew I'd get the responses that I've gotten to be honest but guess I can't help the way I feel.. I very much doubt any dating situation where the guy was "shopping around" even if it is after date 1, led to a long term happy relationship lol

OP posts:
Dramatical · 30/03/2019 10:41

I very much doubt any dating situation where the guy was "shopping around" even if it is after date 1, led to a long term happy relationship lol

I shagged someone else 3 days after my first date with DH. Have been married almost 20 years now 🤷🏻‍♀️

ILoveMaxiBondi · 30/03/2019 10:43

FFS!

“Lol” is not punctuation. Stop doing it.

Original poster
CitrusDreams · 30/03/2019 10:44

Might I add that this is the same guy who seemed visibly negatively surprised/concerned on our first date when he asked whether I'd spoken to multiple guys at the same time on tindr before talking to him (to which I replied yes as that was true) and he seemed uncomfortable about this (despite it being something before I ever spoke to him lol) so compared to that, I don't feel super unreasonable I guess?

OP posts:
theworldistoosmall · 30/03/2019 10:45

2 weeks and one date is nothing. Several dates go by before I pause my account as I find one date tells you nothing really.

Original poster
CitrusDreams · 30/03/2019 10:46

@Dramatical lol I see I guess that's something but I feel like the stats won't be as favourable for it working out if it was the other way around in genders

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 30/03/2019 10:57

He’s not the man for you. Move on.

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