How am I supposed to implement bedtime routine when baby shouldn’t be left alone?

[Mediumsizeddancer]

Safe sleeping guidelines state that babies should not be left alone to sleep, and must always be with you, until 6MO due to the risk of SIDS. Suggesting putting them to bed alone earlier than this age results in horrified looks and a disapproving “if you want to take the risk, that’s up to you.”

On the other hand, everyone advocates the importance of a bedtime routine. Bath, story, and an early bedtime from a young age to get them into good sleep habits. Not having this in place from an early age also results in disapproval.

DS is 4 months old. As per the guidelines on safe sleeping, he stays with me at all times, napping downstairs with us before we all go up to bed at 9-10pm.

I’d like him to go to bed earlier and start implementing a bedtime routine, but unless I then sit in the dark, silent room with him for 2-3 hours until I want to go to sleep in order to follow the safe sleeping guidelines, how the hell would this work?

How the hell are you supposed to correlate these 2 things separate ideals?!

Oh and we don't turn off the lights and sit in the dark- she's well able to sleep with the lights on.

I would follow the SIDS guidelines OP. It's a small risk, but to me it was such a serious risk I was doing everything I could to mitigate it. Part of that was probably FF guilt.

It's all very well to say use a breathing monitor, but that's only going to tell you when they're having breathing difficulty / stopped breathing. I followed the guidelines because I understood that the theory is that my breathing in the same space helped DD keep her breathing regular.

Can you read in the bedroom with her rather than go to sleep? Would that be an option?

Tbh, I would have happily have gone to sleep at 7pm when DD was 4m, but that's probably because she wouldn't sleep till 10pm!

Think I posted about this at the time! In the end what worked for us until 6 months was having a routine and early bedtime but the cot was in the living room until we went to bed.

You simply can't do both of these things. All you can do is weigh up the risks and do what works best

We never bothered with a routine at that age as such. They slept downstairs in the Moses basket with us then we took them up when we went to bed. They'd have a feed early evening then another one around midnight (got earlier as they got older then stopped altogether) even though mine were bottle fed they were fed on demand, although I think by then it was roughly every 3 hours. They are meant to be with you until at least 6 months so unless you go to bed at 7pm with them the only way is to have them downstairs with you until you go to bed

@Fucket...
"Never had this problem with dc1 or dc2 as they never slept for more than 3 hours at a time, so I used to sleep when they did. Dc3 had to be within 5cm of my boob or she’d instinctively wake up. So I used to go to bed early with her. I spent so much time with her I felt like I had an some kind of telepathic connection to her"

Apologies if the highlighting doesn't work..I've only just discovered it on my phone!

Yes I had exactly the same with DS. He woke all night and had to be attached to the boob much to the anger of my and DH's dear mother! I still get it in the neck from them now! But they never breast fed so had not a clue. Now me and DS still have a close connection even now which is almost telepathic!

My youngest is only 6 and I genuinely did not know, and was never told, to keep him with me until 6 months.
Somehow I thought the general noise of the house and people popping in and out to check on him or put washing away or whatever would be enough.

It wasn't advice 6 years ago, that's why. They have only added the whole "for every sleep" thing a couple of years ago. They did used to say share a room with you for 6 months, that's been on there longer than 10 years, it's the every sleep part which is new.