Is it just me, or is this person taking the PISS?

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...so, imagine this is your child.

They work part-time in a retail job. No reason to be working part time, perfectly fit and able both mentally and physically - just chooses to work part-time. They're on minimum wage and zero-hours contract and live in a house share (not at home). They choose to work 4 shifts a week normally. (24 hours) There are plenty of shifts available and has the opportunity to work far more.

They come to you a few months ago - and tell you they have maxed out their credit card at £2500 over the last year. And have come to the end of the 0% - they have tried to apply for another 0% to transfer, but was refused. They had made no payments on the CC.

So, you, being a kind parent get a credit card in your name, pay off their credit card and agree that they will pay your £100pm over the next 25 months.

They then announce that they can't start paying you back for two months, as they have no money and have a £300 overdraft to pay off as well. OK, you understand. Not a problem.

Cue month one:

• Pays nothing off from £300 over draft. (instead has opened another account and has used THAT overdraft to "get through the month")
• Purchases a new computer game for £60.
• Goes out with friends to the pub a couple of times. (~£50)
• Goes out for a meal once a week with a group of friends. (~£60)
• Buys a collectable figure at around £30.
• Buys lunches out when at work, because "they haven't got enough time to make packed lunch". (bearing in mind, they work 6 hours max a day)
• Refuses to walk/cycle the mile and a half to work and gets a taxi each way at a cost of ~£5 each way. "because it's cold/I'm tired" - bus stops are nearby and frequent. (they can't drive)
• Shops at Waitrose "because Aldi is for wankers". Spends around £45pw on food. Aldi is a 3 minute walk away. Waitrose is a 10 minute taxi drive.

so their financial debt sits as such:
£2500 owed to you
£300 overdraft to Bank 1
£250 overdraft to Bank 2

So, would you expect

a) your child to take as many shifts as possible at work to try and earn any money the could, to try and start paying off their over drafts and then you? And in an attempt to save/pay back, start walking to work, shop at the Aldi and make packed lunches.

or

b) your child to take a week off from the job unpaid, because "they feel like they deserve a break from work" ?

or something else?

Big mistake was made being 'kind parent' at the start and paying off the debt for them. However, as you know very well the person should take more shifts to pay their debts. I rather suspect they are hoping you will let them off and not pay anything further. You have been taken for a mug!

I wouldn't have gotten a credit card to help pay off their debt. That's bonkers.

They incurred the debt, they pay it off themselves, including the interest they're going to start being charged.

Yes they are. Option A is the only option l would be considering

Ooooo I would be more than angry!! I’d be fierce 😡 I would definitely expect them to do ‘A’ but knowing what lazy little @&*$ they can be....choice ‘B’ does not surprise me.
Lesson learnt. Never help again!

Well "a)" is the only sensible option now, but why in god's name would anyone believe a person like that would actually pay them back 🤷🏼‍♀️

Kid is a waster and needs a kick up the arse.

Also...I wouldn’t blame anyone that paid the debt off for them! I would! There isn’t a single thing on this planet I wouldn’t do for my kids. Although it would be on the understanding that they take the piss and that’s it. Never again!

A few questions.

How old is he/she?
Did he/she complete education? Any qualifications that could eventually life them out of retail?
Any depression or anxiety issues?
Why and when did they leave home?

Life = lift

How old is he/she? - 32
Did he/she complete education? Any qualifications that could eventually life them out of retail? - has a 2:2 degree in graphic design
Any depression or anxiety issues? - no
Why and when did they leave home? - has been living away form home for around 8 years since 18. Lived at home for around 5 years in early/mid 20s.

just going to clarify b is what this person has chosen to do....

32!!!!!!!!!!
Time for them to learn some responsibility.

More fool the parent for bailing them out, they'll not do that again.

32!! Massively taking the piss and needs less help and more standing on their own two feet.

That's so hard as a parent knowing your kid is taking the piss out of you when they should be behaving like the grown up they are.
What happens when they lose their home? Will they be living with you again?

Christ. You have to stop getting involved. They really need to grow up.

She’s taken you for a ride and effectively transferred the £2500 debt to you. Good luck paying that off as it will be you paying it off. Shouldn’t have got involved.

I would

1. go ballistic
2. shut off all financial aid
3. spell out for them a plan (possibly even print it out) as to what they need to do to pay it off, and then
4. leave them to it

32???

I was judging them pretty harshly when I thought they were 20ish but 32 is three years older than me! What a bloody waster.

I'd be surprised if you ever saw a penny of that money.

I would be furious at myself for being stupid enough to transfer their debt to me knowing full well they are in debt for no good reason at all and are terrible with money.

Sounds like this person has never grown up and the other adult who is bailing them out is enabling this behaviour.

My best mate has a sibling like this. Only difference is the sibling uses the Dad as a taxi, because you have to bother to phone real taxis. So the retired Dad gets up at 6.30 to drive to the sibling's house, take them to work, and does the same for the return journey.

They are no longer in touch (her and the sibling) - she just couldn't bite her tongue any longer.

Their parents are idiots, basically. Oh and they cry to my friend about it all but nothing will ever change. They've created a bloody monster and it's way too late now!!!

Your child is an adult, adults make choices and these change the life they are living. Positively or negatively

Adults have to live with the choices they make and the changes that result.

You are interrupting that process and it's doing this adult no favours. You (for very kind reasons) got in the way of a very important lesson about the consequences of certain choices and that has meant they missed the chance to learn from them because effectively you ensured there were no consequences from their behaviour.

The result is they are repeating the exact behaviour again and expects that life will somehow fix things because last time exactly that happened.

It is hard to watch from afar knowing that your child is about to fail or be in for a hard time but sometimes that's a very important process. It doesn't mean you can't be there for them.

Is there any reason for it?

I'm autistic and really struggle to deal with finances? Like I know how things work, but if I have £50 in the bank to pay tomorrow's bill 6/10 times I will take it and spend it anyway! We have to be very careful to make the money work, DH has the bill money in a separate account these days, because despite knowing I need to keep money, pay bills and be responsible, I genuinely can't do it. I have no idea what I am so reckless with money

Could there be a medical explanation?

Stop enabling them!
Simple.

OP are you the parent?

From the OP, I read it as the OP is NOT the parent, but lots of pp are giving you are hard time as if you are.

I'm guessing this is your neice/nephew?