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Original poster

Is it just me, or is this person taking the PISS?

52 replies

00100001 · 29/03/2019 10:38

...so, imagine this is your child.

They work part-time in a retail job. No reason to be working part time, perfectly fit and able both mentally and physically - just chooses to work part-time. They're on minimum wage and zero-hours contract and live in a house share (not at home). They choose to work 4 shifts a week normally. (24 hours) There are plenty of shifts available and has the opportunity to work far more.

They come to you a few months ago - and tell you they have maxed out their credit card at £2500 over the last year. And have come to the end of the 0% - they have tried to apply for another 0% to transfer, but was refused. They had made no payments on the CC.

So, you, being a kind parent get a credit card in your name, pay off their credit card and agree that they will pay your £100pm over the next 25 months.

They then announce that they can't start paying you back for two months, as they have no money and have a £300 overdraft to pay off as well. OK, you understand. Not a problem.

Cue month one:

  • Pays nothing off from £300 over draft. (instead has opened another account and has used THAT overdraft to "get through the month")
  • Purchases a new computer game for £60.
  • Goes out with friends to the pub a couple of times. (~£50)
  • Goes out for a meal once a week with a group of friends. (~£60)
  • Buys a collectable figure at around £30.
  • Buys lunches out when at work, because "they haven't got enough time to make packed lunch". (bearing in mind, they work 6 hours max a day)
  • Refuses to walk/cycle the mile and a half to work and gets a taxi each way at a cost of ~£5 each way. "because it's cold/I'm tired" - bus stops are nearby and frequent. (they can't drive)
  • Shops at Waitrose "because Aldi is for wankers". Spends around £45pw on food. Aldi is a 3 minute walk away. Waitrose is a 10 minute taxi drive.

so their financial debt sits as such:
£2500 owed to you
£300 overdraft to Bank 1
£250 overdraft to Bank 2

So, would you expect

a) your child to take as many shifts as possible at work to try and earn any money the could, to try and start paying off their over drafts and then you? And in an attempt to save/pay back, start walking to work, shop at the Aldi and make packed lunches.

or

b) your child to take a week off from the job unpaid, because "they feel like they deserve a break from work" ?

or something else?

OP posts:
Foslady · 29/03/2019 12:17

For personal reasons thank you OP for starting this thread - you have confirmed what I thought about a similar situation I am aware of and all hell has broken lose due to one person saying ‘enough’......

Tilikum · 29/03/2019 12:20

32!!!!

I would have had sympathy if they were 21 and not used to handling their own money but 32 is well past the point they should be financially savvy. You shouldn't have paid the credit card off, but I'm sure you know that now. Can you read them the riot act about paying the money back? Would that have any effect?

cuppycakey · 29/03/2019 12:24

I get the feeling this isn't OPs child - it's a SIL/BIL/Stepchild?

The main mistake happened when the credit card debt was repaid without strings attached. So I would have expected the bailer to say I will bail you out if you increase your hours to full time, or set up a direct debit to me.

At 32 this person has been conditioned to being able to live like this. They sound immature and lazy but have been enabled...

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Cost of living General food
ApolloandDaphne · 29/03/2019 12:29

I get the impression this is not OPs child she/he is talking about.

MrsMozartMkII · 29/03/2019 12:31

Bloody hell.

At a loss for suitable words.

HeyCarrieAnneWhatsYourGame · 29/03/2019 12:34

God knows I was coddled compared to the childhood/teenagehood my parents had but my mum and dad would have laughed me out of town if I had pulled this shit. Basically your child is doing this because you’re enabling them.

meercat23 · 29/03/2019 12:34

OP I was expecting that you would say that the child was aged about 17-18 or so. I can imagine my GS getting into this pickle but then he is just coming to terms with adult life. I have to say his parents would also probably have bailed him out but then expected/demanded that he behave in a responsible way.

At 32 yours really should be behaving in a more responsible way and should not be expecting you to bail them out. Given that you have, they should be bending over backwards to pay you back asap.

It sounds as if you have been amazingly supportive but now is probably time to inform them that they need to stand on their own two feet.

You must be so sad and disappointed.

sighrollseyes · 29/03/2019 12:36

Children will never learn if parents always bail them out.

Drogosnextwife · 29/03/2019 12:37

32!!!!! Good god time for them to take some responsibility. I wouldn't hold your breath for that money back OP.

Wallywobbles · 29/03/2019 12:38

Fuck me. My teens would not expect to get away with this nonsense. If they owe money they work to pay or off. Have done since about 8yo.

And I'm worried I'm not tough enough.

TitusP · 29/03/2019 12:47

I am guessing the OP is the sibling and her parents are facilitating this adult child.

Sadly I know a few like this and it angers me as it plays to all the stereotypes people have about Millennials but the majority of us work very very hard!

Fairenuff · 29/03/2019 12:50

It wasn't kind of the parent to take on the debt. The kind thing to do is to let go of the 'child' (as you call them) and let the (32 year old) adult make their own way in the world.

That's in the past and nothing can be done about it. The parent needs to step back, stop getting involved, let the adult live their life and write off the £2500 because they are never going to see that.

Are you the parent OP?

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 29/03/2019 12:58

I don’t understand why the parents got a credit card in their name. If the giant ‘child’ managed to convince them that they would pay them GBP100 a month, then they should have said pay the GBP100 to the cc co. Yes, the interest would have kicked in made the debt last longer but GBP100 would have been more than the minimum and the lesson of having to take ages to pay off the GBP2500 might actually have made them change their ways. I also don’t understand his, if they have made no payments on the cc over the course of the year, the cc co hadn’t taken action against them already. Anyway, basically the parents are never going to see that GBP2500, they might as well write it off and offer not an iota of assistance ever again.

FluffyKittenss · 29/03/2019 12:59

WHAT! I'm so shocked by this.

I'm 25, never had debt, never touched my overdraft like ever! have 1 credit card which i use soley to build a credit score.

I worked from the age of 16, i'd take as many shifts as possible even if money wasn't tight, this allowed me to save up a few grand in my account so if a nasty bill or surprise rocked up i was prepared for it! i'm currently saving for a deposit and working 2 jobs and spending with in my budget allocation i set myself. I managed to save 4k for my wedding last year.

How can a 32 year old be in that situation! don't get me wrong life gets shit it truly does but I am amazed by child like they are like with their money, I remember been 6 years old with pocket money and saving it all up to spend on something i'd wanted for months.

FluffyKittenss · 29/03/2019 13:00

You know what i'd do, show them this thread!

Embarrass them, as harsh as it sounds. sometimes is needs to come from someone else.

StillMe1 · 29/03/2019 13:01

So often parents try to help their adult children and many go to ridiculous lengths. Rarely is it ever appreciated.
I am in a similar position and I have had enough now. No-one is going to treat me badly ever again. If it was a husband you would all say LTB when it is an adult child it is a whole different ball game.

lablablab · 29/03/2019 13:19

32?!?!!?

I was married with 2 dc and a mortgage by then! That's insane! Stop all financial help. Stern talking to about sorting his life out. Firmly point out that you will not be facilitating their lazy arse ways anymore.

Boysey45 · 29/03/2019 13:28

Well its a male I think and either a sibling or your partners son.
If it was your partners son then I wouldn't be living with him that's for sure.
The person in question is an absolute total waste of space. Its not that they are in low waged employment. Its that they are an utter scrounger and irresponsible.

Original poster
00100001 · 29/03/2019 16:26

I am not the parent.

OP posts:
Original poster
00100001 · 29/03/2019 16:26

not that much of a mug Grin

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 29/03/2019 16:29

I was expecting 18 or 19, but 32!!
The only wanker in this scenario is this child/adult.

VictoriaBun · 29/03/2019 16:32

I would be thinking xy and z. Realise the money owed to me is lost. Never bail out them again under an circumstance. And finally come to the understanding that they have probably been taking the piss for many years but I have just realised.
They also sound quite entitled .

TwelveThirtyTwo · 29/03/2019 16:32

What does the parent say about the situation?

Bookworm4 · 29/03/2019 16:32

Also do they still have the CC that was cleared? If so they'll max it out again.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 29/03/2019 16:33

32!!!! Shock