Teenager & bedtimes.

[Dontgiveamonkeys1350]

At what age did you or are you planning on letting your teenager decide bedtimes.

My son is fifteen and will be sixteen at Christmas.

I still tell him that he has to be in bed lying down at a certain time. I do this as he is a total night owl and would be up till 2am on a school night if I let him. He never goes straight to sleep and is still awake way past myself and my husband.

He is not allowed phone or iPad in his room at night. He thinks that he should be able to stay up as late as he wants every night. I let him stay up later on a Friday and Saturday.

I’m planning on doing this until he has done his GCSEs. Otherwise he would never get up to get the school bus at 8.30.

What do you do or did. I’m thinking next year after his GCSEs he is old enough to decide when to go to bed and if he is tired for college so be it?????? Yes no?

He thinks he should be allowed to do this now. And I properly would if I knew he would go to bed at a reasonably good time.

My DS gets up at 6:40 every weekday morning to catch the school bus but like I have said never have to wake him ...maybe I have the exception to the rule. Weekends it always depends if he/we have something planned or not as to how long he sleeps in. Though it is super unusual that he isn't up and out doing something by 10 on a Saturday, Sunday's are definitely more laid back.

I’m agog that people let their kids “self-regulate” I’m calling it lazy parenting!

Why? Genuine question, why is it lazy parenting to let teenagers work on the self regulation skills they need when they become adults?

Any wonder half the the teenagers walk around like zombies.

I have literally never seen this happen.

Get your kids to bed at a reasonable time

My kids do this themselves.

Get yourself off your high horse.

**Why? Genuine question, why is it lazy parenting to let teenagers work on the self regulation skills they need when they become adults?

They aren’t adults it’s a slow transition- they need their sleep, their days are incredibly busy and they have lots of pressure on them.
Helping them become an adult means teaching responsibilities at an age appropriate time. 13yo staying up until 11pm on a weeknight is ludicrous!! 16yo staying up until past midnight is detrimental to the child’s every day functioning.
Like as I said going into sixth form is adequate time to develop these skills.

Dramatical I don't think it is a matter of getting on a high horse. There have been many studies showing the correlation between lack of sleep and poor learning. Teenagers between 13 and 18yo need between 8 and 10 hours sleep to effectively learn I realise this is a generalisation but a majority of teens fit this.

don't think it is a matter of getting on a high horse.

Of course it is. Some kids do just fine. Some don't.

sauvingnon

I agree with you.

I did say it was a generalisation and yes some don't but MOST do

I'm in the camp of tech being the bigger issue if not managed. My 12yo would live on the PS given half a chance & is pretty intolerable if given free rein. Theres no PS allowed sun-thurs and he is usually in bed by 9.30pm, asleep by 10 and up at 6.45am. If he manages to find his phone, he has to come off it at 8pm. No tech at the table ever - me included 😁

Mummacake we have the no tech at the table as well I admit sometimes I find that hard especially if in the middle of a Mumsnet debate

Mine self regulated since starting secondary school. They like their sleep. Found their bedtime was around 9-10pm, mostly 10pm, not dissimilar to mine. I'm up earlier than them though, they get up 8am, leave home 8.30am.

DS 15, DD 13. Phones allowed in rooms as they used for alarms, but they don't tend to use them once in bed

All the teenagers I see are like zombies anyway, sleep or no sleep.

I think self regulating helps towards good sleep as an adult.

DS1 is 13. On a school night its phone downstairs by 10pm and then he goes to bed. Never sure what time he sleeps as I also go to bed! Has to be up at 6.30am so he understands that he needs to sleep as soon as he is ready. If he is tired it's his own look out tbh.

Weekends are similar with a bit later phone off time.